Swagger Inn Centenery thread - yes that's right! 100 threads full of bearded leather clad hotties, erotic fiction and laundry. Join us for the celebratory --orgy-- buffet!

[Baddz]

Come one, come all, to the Swagger Inn centenary orgy buffet.
We have balloons, aldi peach bellini and paella nutella on the jukebox.

Afternoon all.

Hello Minty long time no see

Norah we all notice/care by the way (forgot to say earlier, was too busy grumping re. DS and the miseries of parenting) I also have no idea what footner/non-footner is either - it appear to be something that gives your feet a controlled dose of leprosy from what I can tell. Is it meant to peel off dead skin and leave you with lovely soft feet that are immeidately prone to blisters at the slightest impact?

Comtess - impressive bonding/holding of own by Casanova's GF 'sharp as' indeed.

I have spent the afternoon hacking the wilderness garden about and preparing to help at car boot sale tomorrow. Which means up at stupid o'clock, which means bedtime at same time as DS tonight and no interweb for most of tomorrow. Also managed one load of washing which DH managed to bring in before it got too much wet in the rain. Not that he hung it all up inside to dry, or put it in the dryer, or anything

Need to go and look for a lego shark now...

Are you ok Norah?
How are the tonsils?

Evening wenches. Just got back from having toes and nails painted.
We are all off tonight to a Elvis tribute singer. 2nd time this month we've been out to see Elvis, be it a different performer. We go to this place, because they welcome the boys, who dance non stop, while we have a few drinks.

Have a good night. I'll see you tomorrow.

Evening all (is that that time - blimey)

Well, I sacked off the paper work in the end so apol in advance about my whinging in the morning about having to do paperwork

I went out and bought a old cabinet thing to put my tv on and although it took two blokes to put it in my car I managed to get it out of the car and up about nine steps on my own The language was rather Tuckeresque whilst I did it though.

So now I'm going to mix myself a very large dirty martini and find something to eat crisps.

Comtess - she sounds great and it's good to hear about engaged young people (that's not supposed to sound deeply patronising but it probably is).

Oh, and to Minty.

Off to find my cocktail shaker...

Mavis Nice one - wenches are well hard! And Mmmmmmmm Malcolm Tucker....

Evening all.

What is teatox?

Is it drinking tea?
I can do that!

It IS drinking tea. I have 2 weeks' worth, it's called Skinny Mint & you drink one type every morning & another type every other night. My sister has used it & reckons it sorted her bloating out. It's supposed to clear you out, give you energy & speed up fat burning & metabolism. Hmmm.

I'm a leeeeetle bit nervous about venturing too far from a loo but no effect so far.....But then - I've only had one cup

Right, have had a martini. Piano practice not going as well as it could....

Trying to master I do love this film and can play a bit from the soundtrack but this is proving elusive. (I'm not very good at the piano, can you tell?)

Oh, and while I think of it - Madame - you shuffle away my dear, I know how hard it is to give up. One day I'll bum a ciggy off you

Lovely. Second night in the row with shouting and no bedtime story
I'm "ovulating" and could murder. Bathtime - don't use your small towel to clean the glass and then your foo foo.
Why?
Cause the glass is dirty/ cleaned with spray that doesn't wash off.
DD carries on and 30 mins later: ouch, my bottom hurts.
Everything red from vulva to the bumhole. As red as
So I started shouting: I told you, you never listen, why do you think I say those things, I bloody told you.
She tenses uo when I shout and nkw I feel guilty but I have just uo to here of repeating shit.

Her thrush just cleared up from before and now this.

Oh dear wenches. Due to a series of unforeseen events including me divesting myself of all my children ,I'm a bit wankered on prosecco.

Oops.

Just read thread and sgree with you all about gf. Brighter than i realised and importsnylyb dudnt embarrass over this issue at all. Hmmmm. Ds2 is shallowest of offspring so suspect I wrote her off a bit initially.

Smyway, alls well that ends well.

Badders - I LOVE your motto.

Drink , poor little thing and poor you too. Not easy.

Wtf??????????

That's a terrible joke Badders

Oh Comtesse I love it when you are sloppy drunk

I might get ds to print it out and put it on display in the house

Liv...sorry

Evening wenches.

I am stuffed full of pasta so I'm just going to sit over here, watching Harry Potter, and offering full on wench hugs to any wench who happens to pass by.

Enjoy your evenings wenches.

DH is doing bedtime stories and I'm crocheting hearts and drinking cider. I've got a grot cold and a busy week next week. Never good.

Comtess gf sounds like she's a good one. Mouse I'd love to grow my hair out but once it touches my neck I can't stand it. So I'm a bob with short back now!

Oh dear. I've just eaten a burger. I don't eat burgers.

Let'
Us what HP are you watching??

Thabks comtess. I went to check in 5 mins after I left her room. She was asleep. I gave her a kiss, she asked me half asleep: why did you come mummy?
Ibsaidbto give her a kiss.
She rolled over.

I Opened prosecco. Can't even epilate my nether regions cause it takes thebcream an hour to start working. Will iron instead and so the epilator tomorrow.

It's okay Badders I understand that not everyone is sophisticated enough to understand the love for the Cardinal

Goblet of Fire Comtess. It's on ITV.

Is that the one with David Tennant? I have whichever one that is on DVD but have never watched it!

Ah. Poor old Cedric Diggory. Love Goblrt.

Have just worked out that I haven't actually sat by TV since I watched Hobbit on Friday last week and fell asleep. I need to do more relaxing in my life.

I have been re-reading my attempt at Cardinal lit and realised I have missed something out in the sexy bits - might have to write another chapter - I will of course give everyone the usual warnings before I post it

In a great martini fuelled wisdom I've decided to watch Buffy - One More With Feeling. I might watch Hush next.

I love Buffy.

Joss Whedon is great and gave us Jeremy Renner as Hawkeye

Prosecco ironing sounds dangerous Drink. I wouldn't like to do dnythomg in my current state, and I'm only mildly pissedZ

I've just seen Tom's ponytail on Twitter. Sold. I love it.