Swagger Inn: Thread 99 - European Wenches Unite in Filth and Debauchery

[DrinkFeckArseGirls]

As you were. Please wash your HBFs before entering the tavern. We have a Health and Safety inspection later this week.

I have been watching Blake's Seven today and totally have the horn now - the original hotties in leather!

So the dcs ended up watching all of The Hobbit and I have run out of my lifetime quota of the phrase "It's not Dumbledore, he's called Gandalf"

Great bongs Helen.

Right, off to bed. My childfree relaxing evening has amounted to ten minutes

Night all.

Evening. Gah!! Have I missed ww again?

face like a bee keepers apprentice best thing I've heard all day badders. I don't get the Batch thing either, seems like a nice guy, but does nothing for me.

Aw mouse, he will look like the cutest thing ever getting on the bus in his uniform. I should think blubbing is compulsory.

norah

Send Lucas North over here if you don't want him drink, I so would.

Cracking bongs helen

Evening....thanks for the bongs Helen I wouldn't have a clue what's going on otherwise.

Had a quick look at the vid Sparkle linked to and Doesn't hurt to have it again now, does it?

It doesn't hurt at all elk - lots of sexy aramis there

Cat wenches, this is moderately amusing.

In plane news, everything was cancelled except the red arrows cos of crap weather, but I went anyway, and then went shopping

Helen wonderful bongs.

Fancy I've been giggling about your inappropriate stately home thoughts tonight as neighbours were showing us some photos of where they'd been in holiday in Germany and I had exactly the same thought processes. #oversexedbrain

Mavis pmsl ref Dumbledore/Gandalf. So sad about Christopher Lee. I loved him as Saruman.

I've had a v nice evening out, not drinking but on iced tea. Lush.

I'm orf to the Snug. Night all

Excellent thread cinn

Glad you saw some planes at least & I hope the shopping was successful

Night comtess - glad it's not just me thinking those things

Crap night's sleep due to cocktails and being on the blob. So what to do but go to friends' bbq this afternoon and fall in with nefarious types who lure me off the Good old English beer and on to that continental Procsecco and then stay out so late I def. earn bad mother tag for not getting the graceless to home before 10.30?? Living up to my bong, have drunk lots.

Now off to bed, hopefully to dream of TB or David Tennant

God natt!

Morning all.

Had a wench dream last night. Floppers wrote a legal thingy which meant we (Me and DH, our village, some such - don't etirely remember) won some sort of legal case Well done Floppers!

Cloudy and rainy here or I'd tempted to take DS to local National Trust places and scout for locations and kick-start my subconcious do the '50 things' challenge with him.

Instead we are both plugged in while DH has his lie-in.

Might cook pancakes for breakfast....

Oh FML, DS (who I love beyond words and compare and wouldn't swap for anything) wants me to play with him..... Oh well.

Laters........

(Hope Sparks had a good night)

Morning!
Poor ds2 had a nightmare last night and is very upset by it :( he dreamt we he sent him to boarding school!! Where do they find out this stuff at 6!!?
He said "mummy I would cry and cry until I found you" :( :(
Issy...top wenching. Well done.
Fil coming for lunch today - prob be leftovers from yesterday! lazy wench
Helen. Top bongs. Thank you.
Have to go and see mum today. Then do lunch. Then I might have a nap.
It's all go.

Morning all.

Badders I used to have dreams like that!! No idea where they came from. Poor love.

Helen well done on the bongs.

Mouse have been following your posts about your wee boy and great news about the school. Also giving week,

AFM I attempted to go on a hen night last night which was a mistake. I managed the meal but thankfully the hen was very understanding!!

Hope everyone has a lovely day. Pishing down with rain here but it's t get better later apparently.

Well, it's not ds1s b day today so of course it's lovely and sunny! Grr.
I am sure there are loads of things I could be doing.
Meh.
It's not looking likely today tbh.
Dentist tomorrow.

Morning wenches.

I had a wench dream too. Mouse was in it. That's all I remember . Another dream was that I had taken DS2 to school and there were already papers out on their desks. About four of them had an extra maths sheet because they hadn't done very well in the last one and he was one of them. Then I was watching a DVD and the end of it the characters each did some dancing in groups of about three of four. Santa was in it and he danced extremely well, as did Lee Pace. Was only a matter of seconds though.

Usual Sunday stuff here.

Badderz for DS2 and a sit the feck down for for more five minutes to you.

letus I really hope you mean "santi"!

Uh oh lyndie so are you hungover? Hope sparks is feeling alright...

helen those are great bongs. Fnar. What is this 50 things challenge? I could do with some new things to do with ds besides lego and drawing.

Ive woken up with a headache but had already arranged to take ds to localmuseum today with my mum (massively stressy) and my neighbour and her ds (pretty stressy). Argh.

Oh FFS what did I type?

Yes, I mean Santi. That's Santi you arsing iPad. I type it often enough.

Hope your headache bogs off Madame and you enjoy your day.

Morning all!

I had a TM dream - Athos and Porthos def in it although I can't remember anything about what happened. There was some naughty smirking going on by TB though.

Hope Issy is feeling ok this morning and that Sparks had a good night.

Raining here too so it's housework and paperwork for me. The fun just never starts.

I keep getting dreams where I can suddenly sing really well. So someone famous, don't know who just in my dream they are famous and important, hears me doing the Wench Karaoke wants me to sing somewhere but h wont let me saying I have to come home and stop being a selfish fuck and look after the kids.
So then he eventually says I can so I sing and wenches are there all happy, but then he stops it midway and tells me to stop and that I'm shit and I need to go home.
The kids convince him to let me finish and I go off stage and get really bad stage fright and then either Idris Elba or Lee Pace come and help me through that. NOT LIKE THAT yet
Then I go on and finish the show and it's great.
There's a couple songs in particular that gets the wenches going and seem to mean Something Important and even when I am awake they make me feel a bit..I dunno... actually one of them makes me a bit teary

anyway, h fecks off for good it seems and I keep singing and I sing 'let it go' with all the wenchlets and even manage to make the teen boys amongst our offspring smile.

hang on I'll find the songs, please don't judge.... arf.

and

I KNOW RIGHT?
and no, I can't sing.

Madame www.50things.org.uk/ Hope the headache doesn't develop, and fucks the fuck off.

Ah - LetUs is up...

letus in my dreams LP is good at dancing as well! Maybe we've both seen something where he dances that's given us that idea?
and he's a damn good shag as well.ignores rumours

Hmmm, was drinking coffee on the sofa and giggled at Octonauts . I was told to go and watch my 'adverts' (adult programmes) on the tablet in the kitchen. All accompanied by a wave of the arm. I said I didn't want to. It was insisted that I leave the room. I tried defusing then situation by coming over to the other sofa and offering a cuddle but my efforts were refuted. I felt annoyed and went to lay done on the bed. There was some footsteps around the flat and they came to my room but keft ,which was disappointing. Then I heard feltip (sp?) On the paper and the footsteps returned. I was given a beautiful picture of me.

It wasn't even 9am and the emotional rollercisters was riding high.

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW drinky
although at you giggling at octonauts...

Morning

Well done with the Swedish there Issy

Some pics for Letus

I'm that you've had dream sex with LP/Thranduil Norah. also ignoring the rumours

S'lovely when they do that Drink