if you learn anything from my DH's death, let it be this.

[Yorkiegirl]

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Just so you know, 'Term Assurance' is usually far cheaper than a 'whole of life' policy. The only thing is you don't get any money back at the end of the term whereas you may do with a whole of life. Any one considering it should seek financial advice obviously.

Thank you YG for your thoughtfulness.
My dh and I had the registry office marriage for all the reasons you point out.

He has had a big health scare recently (also 41) and it is a great comfort to know that we are both sorted if one of us dies.

Your blog is lovely btw.

CD,I read that article a few weks ago and my blood ran cold.That poor woamn.

YG, I am so sorry that you have had to learn all this and it is good of you to be concerned for others at this time.

Can I also point out that it is not only death which brings these issues to the fore? If you and your partner split, life is so much more complicated if you are not married. It's sad that marriage can be reduced to a means of acquiring certain benefits (and not just talking DSS here), but it is usually the woman who loses out if she chooses not to marry.

Hope you are coming to the end of the paper trail now,YG, and that you and your girls are finding some way to move forward in a positive way.

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My MIL wasnt married to my FIL, and, it caused no end of trouble. Everyone pressumed as they had been together 26 years, shed get everything. Joint credit card had to be closed, she couldnt get a grant for the funeral, all his belongings went to DH (but we arent taking them, its just on paper), has no claim on his pension, she couldnt even own his grave, or order the headstone. She had only been on the house deeds a little while aswell, but thank god she was as thta would have been a total nightmare. There is just no such thing as common law husband and wife, and, alot of people dont realise that. Things were made more complex by the fact she changed her surname ot the same name, so alot of things were addressed to Mrs., and she just went with it.

YG - ((hugs))

Bump.

I usually lurk, but have been following your story YG, with both sadness at the situation and admiration at your dignity and thoughtfulness. Thanks for posting this.

Just sort it out! (said in manner of Cokney geezer second hand car salesman.)

We had our financial adviser over last week to sport out income protection. (Dh freelance and I am a student with sporadic bouts of work.)

He told us about a client of his who was going to Cuba ans was completing life assurance forms.He rang her the day before she went to remind her to finish them and drop them off with him,to which she said 'Oh I'll do them when I come back.'

She died in Havana.

He said having to tell her dh (who assumed she had completed all paper work) that there would be nothing when he phoned,was one of the worst things he has ever had to do.

YG you really have to be admired, for being so strong in the face of your terrible loss, so brave for your dds, and for still trying to help others. xx

Incidentally to back up YGs post, this is why dh and I got married, when ds was one. I found out he had no parental responsibility over ds, and if we had future children (which we were planning, and fell pregnant a few months later) he'd have none over them either. We had a gorgeous ceremony, and even though we still have our ups and downs dh has EVERY right to be involved in all decisions regarding our dc. And now he has the legal right too.

Thanks yorkiegirl, this is somethingthat I've been thinking about for sometime and this may motivate me to bring it up with dp. Even if we don't get married I know that we must get wills sorted out.

YG, it never ceases to amaze me how you think of others.

If your experience and advise help other then Nigel's death need not be in vain.

Lets hope you are guest of honour at a few weddings!

YorkieGirl - I have certainly come across your name on MN before but didn't know what a dreadful time you have been through recently - I am so sorry. Just been looking at your blog - your girls are gorgeous!

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thanks YG! we did it for this reasons too, as I wasn't that keen either. But I feel much safer now, for DD I mean. I've also had a will sitting on my desk for minths waiting to be filled... I will do it this week-end, and sort out an insurance for DH (I already have one).
thanks again!

Bump again

(does anyone on here know where the thread about budget weddings is?)

Yorkie, again you have stunned me with your thoughtfulness.

Yorkie, I can't believe you've been so thoughtful after all you've been through. Thank you.

Keep it bumped!

How many weddings are now planned due to YG's post????

I m already planning my wedding, but its not fashionable to be married now and lots of people have questioned why we want to, aside from my undying love for him etc, part of it is a bit for show, but part of it is for the financial and legal security marriage offers. Now when my friends question why people need to get married in 2006 I will be able to back myself up a bit better.

Thanks Yorkirgirl for this post x

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We were already engaged but with one child together, another on the way, it is time to seriously think about just performing the actual legal part of it, the aprty aspect can wait until we're ready...

yorkiegirl you are a truely amazing person.

I've posted on a few of your threads before, but have never met you in person.

How do you get through life, after all you've been through????

You totally amaze me, especially the way you think of others all the time.

Do you realise just how many possible weddings you could be going to next year??????

Hi YG
Just been directed to this thread from one I started and it really made me think and hopefully my DP too!
Thought I'd msg to bump it for those who didn't see it!
If I get the proposal you'll get an invite (we're in Stafford) thats not too far from Leeds is it?

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