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Original poster

if you learn anything from my DH's death, let it be this.

139 replies

Yorkiegirl · 27/10/2006 19:05

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OP posts:
Whizzz · 27/10/2006 20:10

Oh Yorkie you are so brave & strong.

mustcackleorsuckbloodmore · 27/10/2006 20:11

YG, you're going to invited to alot of mn weddings
Seriously, dh and I got married when I was 20wks pg with ds1, for exactly the reasons you say, and I'm so glad we did. It wouls still obviuosly be terrible and a nightmare if anything happened to him (or me), but not as bad as if we were still just living together.
Thank you so much for starting this thread

Original poster
Yorkiegirl · 27/10/2006 20:12

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SpookyMadMummy · 27/10/2006 20:14

yorkiegirl you are inspiring to so many people on here with your strength. Let more people take note of our sound advice!!

foxinsocks · 27/10/2006 20:15

what an awful story CD. I do know, when I had life insurance through work in SA, that they are incredibly stringent over there with their medicals. I had to see a cardiologist because one doctor thought he may have heard a murmur - no other doctor has ever picked that up. Your poor friend. It has made me realise I need to get dh to go for a medical though.

I'm glad the claims are all going through OK Yorkie - it is such a nightmare, all the admin that is involved.

SpookyMadMummy · 27/10/2006 20:15

your sound advice - note to self use preview!

moaningpaper · 27/10/2006 20:15

I'm going to say my vows really QUICKLY so I won't need a witness

"lawful wedded WHAT? Speak up woman!"

eemie · 27/10/2006 20:16

Yorkiegirl, well done for posting this - it must be the best post I've seen in five years on Mumsnet.

Hope your advice will reach lots of people and lead to a wave of weddings.

I'll be forwarding your post to a few friends myself.

All best

VeniVidiVickiQV · 27/10/2006 20:17

YG, thank you.

We must do this.....

eemie · 27/10/2006 20:17

moaningpaper, it's easy, you don't have to call yourself his wife.

Just say you're his ex-girlfriend

jabberthefriendlyghost · 27/10/2006 20:17

CD, this is a little bit like what my friend is going through.

I was just telling dh yesterday that I had started a file for him on things like my disability insurance information. Need to finish that pronto before my c-section. Sadly, the daughter of a colleague just died from a rare complication having her section last week.

CountessDracula · 27/10/2006 20:20

Thanks yorkie

I have been thinking about pointing her in the direction of mumsnet but not sure if it is appropriate.

CountessDracula · 27/10/2006 20:20

(I know mn is appropriate I just don't know if the suggestion is)

sunchowder · 27/10/2006 20:25

YorkieGirl how kind of you to post this and CD what an unbelievable story your friend wrote and how awful for her too....it does make you think. I do believe we are organized, we went and did a lving revocable trust they call them here (to the tune of $2000), but hopefully it will all be worth it if anything happens to myself or DH or worse if both of us go.

Original poster
Yorkiegirl · 27/10/2006 20:26

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winnie · 27/10/2006 20:32

YG, it is a very different situation from yours & I am struck by how you can think of others at such a time. I am sadly getting divorced and your post has made me think about all that I need to do that I've been putting off because I can't face it. Updating my will etc is really important for my children. Thanks for giving me the kick I need.

CD your friends article has made me decide I must go and do something about my high blood pressure. I keep putting it off.

drosophila · 27/10/2006 20:34

My DP's brother died very unexpectedly a couple of years ago. He was not married ans had a partner and two kids. There has been a complicated process because of this but she has got everything she thinks she deserves but I suspect not the benefit thing you mention. Having said that are you entitled to that if you have received a life assurance policy worth 100K?

It was a bloody mess but this was not helped by a few fators of the 'widow's' own making. As he dies without a will she had to make a clain on th estate and the advice given was that any judge wouls view her as a wife whose husband had died without a will. In theory my DP could have objected to her clain as his nephews interests were his responsibility.

Anyway even after witnessing all this we still have not got married. I think DP feels that it would be wrong to get married in response to his brother's death. Not sure if that makes sense.

all4ghoulz · 27/10/2006 20:34

I think you are so right --it is just a piece of paper but how important a piece we need to remember when something awful happens.
Any body can get married then may be a few years down the line they can get their marriage blessed andhave a do and such when they are ready.

I read your blog and think about you and your girls alot thankyou for making people think aboutstuff like this. {{{{hugs}}}
ps hope you all had a lovely time at windsor
xxx

Original poster
Yorkiegirl · 27/10/2006 20:37

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Original poster
Yorkiegirl · 27/10/2006 20:38

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asleep · 27/10/2006 20:39

YG, thank you for posting this.

drosophila · 27/10/2006 20:43

Thanks YG. I will check your blog. Thanks for sharing this perhaps DP will be more up for it if I tell him your story.

chocolateshoes · 27/10/2006 20:46

DP still not convinced. We have made wills since the birth of DS and he has signed something to say his pension goes to me if something should happen. We don't have life insurance is this really stupid? Over the years we never really had much spare cash to pay for that..maybe now we should. Do you all have it?

PS YG we are just over an hour from Leeds - who knows we may well need you!

Mercy · 27/10/2006 20:47

Good on you YG.

I did wonder a while ago if you knew about widowed parent benefit but glad JanH pointed you in hte right direction.

(I assume the widows/widowers benefit has been done away with now?)

drosophila · 27/10/2006 20:50

I find it very hard to read things like this since DP's brother, my father and my uncle died in quick succession but I think you are an inspiration. I'm talking about your blog. DO you find it theraputic?