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Original poster

if you learn anything from my DH's death, let it be this.

139 replies

Yorkiegirl · 27/10/2006 19:05

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
Kidstrack · 27/10/2006 20:51

Its so true what you have pointed out YG, dp and i met at 14, i never wanted to get married as i watched my mother go through 3 marriages that put me off, i just couldn't see the point, but that was her life not mine and after 10yrs together and 2 kids and at 24yrs of age dp and i got married in july this year for many reasons and some you have pointed out!

Kidstrack · 27/10/2006 20:52

we also have life insurance and thats because of the kids mainly, so that they have something if anything ever happens to any one of us

Original poster
Yorkiegirl · 27/10/2006 20:53

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OP posts:
Original poster
Yorkiegirl · 27/10/2006 20:54

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
intergalacticwerewolf · 27/10/2006 20:57

Thank you YG, you are truly amazing.

Have read your OP to DP, who is in the process of divorcing his ex. We were not going to bother getting married, but I think, having read your post, and from hearing from others in a similar position, we will probably get married in the future (sooner rather than later, hopefully!) It will be a registry office do with a wedding cake by Mr Kipling, but who cares? We aren't into big showy affairs anyway! (Just as well really!)

Frizombie · 27/10/2006 21:01

I shall keep this bumped, very sound advice YG thanks! good blog too

chocolateshoes · 27/10/2006 21:07

Thanks YG. I am nagging DP as we speak but he really does hate talking about this sort of thing. Will need to work on him some more, or bring in the reinforcements....my Dad!

moaningpaper · 27/10/2006 21:09

jusr rummaging through your blog YG ... really lovely.

and how do your teeth stay so WHITE?

love the balloons on Nigel's grave

zephyrHellcat · 27/10/2006 21:31

chocolateshoes we don't have life ionsurance either but i have been looking into it and it's going to be pretty expensive for dp but I feel it's something we have to make allowances for and find the extra cash to do it.

Maybe all of us who have decided to get married because of this thread should all congregate to one big MN wedding!!!!

Bozza · 27/10/2006 21:43

Really thoughtful post yorkie. And while DH and I are married we do not have wills or any record regarding care of our children. So we really ought to get ourselves into action.

We have life insurance covering the mortgage, and also both have death in service cover of 4x salary from work but nothing further.

Skyler · 27/10/2006 21:45

This post is so thoughful of you. x

Original poster
Yorkiegirl · 27/10/2006 21:46

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OP posts:
Skyler · 27/10/2006 21:46

thoughTful

zephyrHellcat · 27/10/2006 21:51

We haven't yorkie... I only started searching for quotes a few months ago and stopped when I saw how much it would be for DP. I think it was about £50 a month for him purely because he is over 40 and a smoker. He is currently having blood tests to keep a check on his blood sugars/cholestorol levels etc and my Mum (medical secretary) says that will make it worse as she deals with insurance companies all the time who check every medical detail and look for any minor reason to bump it up

sallystrawberry · 27/10/2006 22:06

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

buktus · 27/10/2006 22:09

zephyr was that for a large payout for that much a month sorry just being nosey i have to change my life assurances soon

PumpkinMilkshake · 27/10/2006 22:19

Yorkiegirl, it is very good of you to post this. My parents were married , but passed away when I was 6. My mum when through hell afterwards with funeral bills and trying to claim benfits, when all she really should have been doing is looking after herself and me.

My dad paid in to a life insurance policy and when he died (back in 1981)it was realised that this meant we as a family, mum and me were £1 over the poverty line and therefore not entitled to any kind of benfit. I am glad things have changed.

Incidently I am married, and after marriage you should also sort out a will together, especially if you have children. Things dont automatically go to them or your other family members if you both die, but go to the state instead!

PumpkinMilkshake · 27/10/2006 22:20

Sorry should have said Dad passed away, Mum lived on for another 25 years

zephyrHellcat · 27/10/2006 22:22

I don't think it was huge if I remember rightly - I think it was Tesco standard life insurance. Mine was around £20 or less which is much more realistic for us. I need to learn the differences between different types that are on offer and get more quotes.. I found all the waffle quite baffling!!!

FreakyFloss · 27/10/2006 22:23

Dp not going for it. I think this could be though because I have been winding him up all evening (before reading MN) about how my friend was proposed to recently and when I could expect a simirlarly romantic proposal?!! You know my mum has kept on saying the rights are not the same but I never realised money came into it. Although I did think that by the time DS was born as long as a partner signed the birth cert they did have equal parental responsibility (VVV and I have had this discussion before ) Not sure when it came in and I know it won't apply to all. I don't want a big flashy wedding but Dp's friends are all getting married atm (none have DC's yet) and are having big affairs. DP is one to try and keep up with the jone's... although (just thought) he is desperate for a holiday so could suggest combining it!

DarkAlleyBongo · 27/10/2006 22:23

i read this to my sister. she has 2 kids with her dp and they've been together 16 years. she doesn't see the point in getting married, think this may have jolted her a little. Thanks YG. You are amazing to think of others when you have so much on your plate

FreakyFloss · 27/10/2006 22:24

And thank you YG for thinking of others like this. You are a star.

buktus · 27/10/2006 22:24

my husband is 35, overweight and smokes (that sounds horrible i dont mean it to be) his is £15 a month with direct line, mine is £5 a month but im 25 and non smoker

Tatties · 27/10/2006 22:25

Thank you for posting this Yorkiegirl. Dp and I have not wanted to get married on principle, but we have realised that principles wouldn't be any help if something happened to either of us.

Hope you are doing ok

zephyrHellcat · 27/10/2006 22:26

butkus - that sounds like my dp except he is 41... that sounds much better though, I'll have to try direct line.