Swagger Inn - 72. Fuck off Christmas, bollocks to you New Year, it's the Series Two Countdown!

[IsawMommyFolknSantaClaus]

Woohoo!

Only those in need of hot beardy fuckers dressed in leather need enter.

Ayethengyoo.

Poor you Apricot. I refuse to take Mr Mouse because it's like taking a 9 year old with a whisky habit.

He's guaranteed to disappear and I'll spend most of the time trying to find him. I've lost track of the number of times I've sent him to get cream cheese or orange juice and retrieved him half an hour later fondling dvds or pringles or bottles of booze. without the cream cheese or whatever, naturally

Or he decides he really needs the toilet.

Oh god.
No. I can't go shopping with Dh.
It would end in me maiming him on some way.
He runs off with the trolley at 80mph. He buys random shite. he tries to buy the cheapest of everything. He doesn't check dates. He packs raw meat and fruit in the same bag.

apricot, that did make me laugh, especially loading up someone else's trolley!

He packs raw meat and fruit in the same bag

oh badders, that's awful, a real pet peeve of mine

Or he decides he really needs the toilet

That would have me raging mouse, "why didn't you go before you left the house" is not something you should ever find yourself saying to an OH

Oh & while I'm in the middle of my Tesco's shop....this. Just this.

It actually makes me want to hurt him fancy

Keep the stories coming, it makes me realise there are some advantages in having to do all the Christmas shopping on your own

#everycloud

If you've stopped yourself at merely wanting to badders you are woman capable of great self restraint. Just another reason why he is lucky to have you

I'd be happy to do my Christmas shopping with this man, even if he did drip over the contents of my trolley.

I am currently on hold to try and get the dryer fixed. This was Dhs job.
Except he arranged it for the ONE day I can't do.
Fucktrumpet.

Oh yes to the random shite badders. I spend a lot of time put back orange processed potato products and snacks.

Like I said he's like a nine year old fancy. His parents find it hilarious, he still disappears and its no longer their problem. Apparently he had a whole sainsburys closed down on security alert when he was little and went missing. He was found in the cereal aisle reading the boxes.

I'm online all the way unless it's totally unavoidable.

Fucktrumpet indeed badders (Oh I love that word!)

mouse, once I had to talk exH through how to deal with fused lights at our old house. I was on holiday with the children at the time & he called me to find out what to do. The guy in the cottage next door was pissing himself as he listened to me detailing where the fuse box was, where the torch was & how to tell which switch had tripped.

Well it was funny really, I was in hysterics at one stage. But next year, it's online.

sparks, lovely pic. I doubt it's doing much to help you focus on the shopping though!

It's not helping me get on with my jobs either, must get on.

I seriously don't know how I will function when S2 starts I'm already shrieking like a teenager when ever I look at that latest trailer with Athos at the end

Nope. Still doing it. And now have wet Aramis.

Right. The man from Dyno Rod has 44 minutes to get his arse round here to unblock that drain . He's not going to show up is he?

All fucking day I've wasted when I could have gone to the cinema got the last of the Christmas food shopping. Grrrr. I shall just have to make some sort of feature of the leak

Apes - your account of shopping with your DH is hilarious. Thank god he can get intros to Tom Burke or else he'd have to go on MrsB's Festive Hit List. Actually, we could add the bloke from dyno rod.

I've watched 2 episodes of TM whilst ironing this afternoon so I'm all ready for Sunday's season 1 finale I am now going to start watching The Hour again before I work myself up to a rage and phone the drain people. Laters.

fancy I'm thinking of your ex wandering round a dark house looking for a torch. I bet athos, aramis and porthos would know where a fuse box is.

Right better get off and prep some dinner.

I'm doing a pork loin with green beans and potato dauphinoise followed by chocolate brownies.

And yet, apparently, there is nothing in the house

I may sound like I'm being very unfair to Mr Mouse and he does have many lovely qualities. But there's a reason I manage the mundane practicalities and anything requiring planning.

Ds2 is having leftovers from last night.
Ds1 stuffed himself at McDonald's so is not hungry and Dh and I are having omelettes and whatever is in the fridge.
It's all a bit random til I do a food shop on Xmas eve :)

Shopping at Christmas eve, you heathen

I'm going to hell anyway.
Might as well make sure :)

How do you celebrate Christmas in Britain? All I know is that you celebrate on Christmas day and you have stockings on the fireplace and you eat turkey. When do you open the rest of the presents? What else do you eat?

Stockings & our pres for kids in bed in morning. Ours are at the end of their beds, not on a fireplace. Rest after lunch (from under tree) when family round. Then more the next day (Boxing Day) when we usually see rest of family.

Other than turkey main meal, the rest is usually cold meats, cheese, pickles etc & our own bodyweight in chocolates.

In our house we usually go to a crib service (afternoon children's service) or I go to midnight mass on Xmas eve.
The dc have stockings we leave out and we leave out a biscuit and drink for santa.
Their stockings are on their bed when they wake in the mornings to give mummy and daddy time to drink a coffee
Then we come downstairs to see if santa has been :)
We eat turkey for lunch. We are having roulade for pud this year.
Then either play games, go for a walk or watch festive DVDs/TV after lunch.