Swagger Inn Thread 71 - Wench like your life depends on it, which incidentally it does (if you're with the Cardnial)

[SisterHelenoftheEternalCatchUp]

Flings open doors dramatically..... (but looks a bit more cheerful than certain beardy sullen wall-leaners)

Lines up alcohol...

Musketeers at the ready....

Unleash the wenches....

Where is my wife btw?
WW...where are you lovely?

You're fooling no-one elk, I can hear your pulse racing from here.

Morning wenches! to poorly wenches/wenches with poorly DC/DH/DP etc.

Haven't been posting on here much but trying to catch up with the thread. I see Helen has done her usual fabulous work cleaning up the Tavern (nlt obviously) - I should probably go and clean the dungeon, it has seen a lot of action recently

Well I found out a few days ago that my totally hot ex is coming up to the area around Christmas and we are going to meet up, which should be fun. We split up 17 years ago (yes I feel old now!) but neither of us have had a serious relationship (or in my case, any relationship) since then.

Might do another S1 rewatch later this week in the run up to Christmas as I finish work on Friday and am not back again until 5 January (yay!) and as I am switching teams this series (nlt), I have to try to drag my eyes away from the Cardinal and onto Dog!

Well...this week was busy!
Have cancelled an appt tomorrow as Ds isn't well enough to go.
Have had to cancel something I was doing today.
If he doesn't make it back to school this week then that's the nativity and disco off the list too!
Ds1 is out at a theatre trip today.
Then it's his class so party on Thursday.
He informed me last night he needs a secret santa gift for Friday "for a girl, mum!"
Grr.

What is this fuckery I see before me??? TB cannot hold a candle to Ewan McGregor as Obi Wan.

'Nuff said.

Oh and good morning wenches. I've missed you all.

Methinks I should not post the one of Luke as Luek Skywalker. That might tip her over the edge...

Oh... what the fuck.

I am ninja Carolina today.

From the same Twitter source though I have no idea where she got them from. Apologies if she is not the original 'artist'

Typo alert... that should of course be Luke Skywalker

They are both farm boys I guess.

I'm seeing santi and Howie as han and lando respectively.

I'm already a woman on the edge.

Some tight fisted bastard fucker has stolen my fucking cunt pot plant. I am so fucked off about that. What kind of world do we fucking live in that someone can steal your bastard pot plant from outside your own fucking front door.

It's back of fucking beyond, northern Ireland. It's hardly a hot bed of crime.

Omg!
You have managed to make me fancy dog! :)
Yes to Santi as Han and Howie as lando.

Can someone tell mouse cunts don't grow on trees plants.

She's been misinformed

Carolina I'm on my way!

It wasn't a plant, it was a bush . They stole my bush.

Cheers though elk, I'm finally seeing the funny side of it at last.

YAY! Elk is on her way.

I don't have far to go so I am relaxing indoors with lunch

I'll be travelling in in the Northern Line... as will Tom!

I might jump off at Kennington Station to see if he is loitering on the platform ! MUAHAHAHAHA!

Sorry - forgot...

MOUSE... CUNTS DON'T GROW ON PLANTS!

Tumble dryer man is coming on Thursday.
I will be getting various family members to dry my washing until then.
I am watching octonauts "a very begimals xmas"
It's fucking mad.
What are vegimals anyway!?
I think they are a cross between animals and vegetables.
One seems to be a turnip/tuna combo.
It's doing my head in.

Cunts?
No idea.
The are probably harvested in some way?

They seem to be the octonauts slaves?
Like dobby the elf?
But underwater?

I wish I could live in London instead of the lawless fuckhole I'm in at the moment.

Have caught up. Mostly. It seems to be a mass of excitement re the Q&A, tonight's stalking opportunity Carol Concert, and a nice dose of Nonny

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Ooooh Octonauts. I liked them. Vegimals are indeed animal vegetable mixes. There are far more of them than I remember though.

Mouse...tbh if the fuckers are going to steal bushes one might as well be living in south central LA.
Octonauts has finished now, thank god.
Ds2 is harrassing me to make the gingerbread house.
Please...someone come and look after him for me?
Anyone?
No?
selfish bitches who actually have lives!

I only got into Octonauts last year when looking after my grandson and have never seen Vegimals.

Badders, I have done my maternal duties and can now enjoy the luxury of sitting back and watching as other suffer in the same way I did.

Making gingerbread houses is nothing compared to finding WKD bottles hidden under the bed and hauling your fifteen year old in through his bedroom window by his collar as he returns home after escaped down the trellis to get out having been grounded for yet another transgression.

badders indeed. One might be in da hood or whatever the yoof are calling it these days.

I have no life and a house to tidy and shit to do, whilst fielding the enormice. I'll happily swap that for making a gingerbread house.