Swagger Inn Thread 71 - Wench like your life depends on it, which incidentally it does (if you're with the Cardnial)

[SisterHelenoftheEternalCatchUp]

Flings open doors dramatically..... (but looks a bit more cheerful than certain beardy sullen wall-leaners)

Lines up alcohol...

Musketeers at the ready....

Unleash the wenches....

Oh... and did I mention the time he bought a little bag of something one smokes for recreational purposes at age 16 and handed it to me saying 'I don't really like this Mum. What shall I do with it? Please don't tell Dad"

Vaginals? Thanks Wenches. DS is an Octonauts obsessive (we have 90 something episodes) and now I can never look at Tunip the same way again .

Helen Barrot is missing from that list. I suspect one of the others cooked him or something.

That's shit about your cunt plant Mouse. Not something that is easy to replace at the garden centre. On a serious note though as that would piss me off no end.

Carolina am I allowed to at your story re your DS? Good effort catching him climbing back in.

Carol did you dispose of it yourself ?

Of course you can - These things tend to be funny after the event and I was no angel but those stories must wait for another time. Probably when I am pissed enough to own up.

Yes I did dispose of it myself - flushed it down the loo. And Dad doesn't know to this day.

Wenching/RL crossover - driving to DS Christmas Play with DH along our little single track roads - met a bike coming the other way. All normal/sane cyclists stop to let cars inch past them but not this one.
"No, let's just keep it suicidal" I muttered at the idiot... Completely went over DH's head, but made me grin.

Carolina - wonderful stories about your DS (they won't be wonderful on 10 years or so when they apply to mine as well though!)

Back in a bit. Off to put warpaint on face and dress to thrill/kill.

Alright... going to put some make up on and get dressed. Can't turn up in pyjamas now can I?

One more story before I go.

At age 10, my son discovered that the pretend money they had in boxes at school were exactly the same dimensions as real money and that the 20p fake money would fit in the pool table slot at the tennis club.

He took quite a few of these 20p 'coins' and would sell the to his friends for 5p each.

There was fucking hell to pay when the guy turned up one day to empty the pool table and found it full of plastic money!

That's quite enterprising carol. I'm slightly impressed by that one.

I'm very impressed by your son carolina....not sure if that's the desired effect or not though really

Carol...those stories have made me laugh, thank you!
And don't worry...Dh is building a doorless turret to lock them in when they reach puberty.
Sorted :)
Sounds an enterprising young chap, your lad :)

Mouse...I think if you are a yoof you have to say shizzle (?) a lot?
Is this correct?

Ooh livia are you considering getting back in the saddle then??

mouse yes you are right, santi is han and howie is lando. My ds went through this for us eleventy billion threads ago, and we're all agreed. I think.

Now where is my santi han pic????

Loling at vaginals and carolinas ds.

St X's Church - wenches...incoming!!!!

Possibly badders. You also have to take selfies and instagram them. Errrm…yolo, whatevs, grindr, twerking etc etc.

Yeah I'm down with all that shizzle.

Is it bad that I'm longing for the days of Ali G when I understood yoof speak?

Well we are onto Charlie and Lola now.
And - frankly - this programme worries me.
It's tantamount to child neglect! Where are the bloody parents!? Poor old Charlie does all the parenting as far as I can see!

Not to worry Badders, Charlie is learning to be responsible, that's all
(I'm very bored here)

I want to swoop in and rescue him :(
Poor mite.

Hello wenches. Haven't RTFT or listened to the Q and A or anything else. We were chucked out of our hotel at 11 o'clock and are currently killing time before getting various tubes to The Venue!

OK - dressed to kill and ready for the off.

See ya later!

XXX

Have a great time Carolina

Hope everyone has a brilliant time tonight

Afternoon everyone.
sparks and madame will be pleased to know I did some homework whilst I ate lunch and started watching that film in Spanish. I have no idea what is going on, but frankly who cares? I can ignore the words and just concentrate on Santi's gorgeous face.

at your, er cunt bush mouse

keeping all digits crossed for a hot tumble dryer man for you badders

. I'm impressed at the pool table story though

Awwwright wenches?

Has the thought crossed any wench's mind that you could record TB tonight? And have his voice at least on your phone forever?

Errr MrsBeee any chance of investigating if Santi is linked to any charities? Ta muchly.

Fancy he didn't swap shirts but he DID take his off - also on YouTube.

We also saw him laid out on the physio table. No, really.

"Did that actually just happen?!!!!!"

As I said - it was a goooood night.

Ooooh yes.
Please record his voice.

That's even better!!! The important part of the shirt-swap is the semi-naked bit (I'm so shallow). Physio table?!