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Original poster

I'm too stressed to see sense - help! I seem to have accidentally adopted next door's child...and she isn't just *any* child either...

325 replies

Fastasleep · 26/07/2006 20:43

I'm so stressed my head's hurting, lots, so this will make no sense... I think I'm in one of those situations where there's a simple answer but I'm too close to the problem to see...

Anyway, it all started one evening a few months back when I let the ten year old girl from next door come and splash in our big paddling pool... Ever since then she's taken it upon herself to arrive on our doorstep every night after school wondering if she could come and play...

At first I thought, great! Another kid for my DS (2.5) to play with... but then she started being weird .. when I'm not in the room (and she thinks I can't see) she will throw things at Theo, hit him, chuck things off my kitchen worktops and overturn tables and bookshelves and blame Theo... she has a habit of pinching my nine month old and making her cry, so I can't put her down... she also demands food incessantly, goes upstairs and puts my clothes on etc... I've told her not to but it doesn't work, I've stopped her pinching and hitting my babies at least though. (At least I think I have?!)

I want to get rid of her really tbh, she's doing my head in... at first I thought there must be something a bit wrong at home, you know, for her to be acting up like this, and I wanted to give her somewhere nice to go... but but she's stalking us!!!!

It's the summer holiday now and she turns up at 7am wanting to come in and if I let her she will stay... well she would stay all night! If I don't let her in and tell her not to come round she'll stand outside knocking and ringing the bell for up to an hour, and then she runs home and phones me all day, even if I don't ever pick up. (I was usually out all day, but have been potty training which has given her a perfect way in..)

I don't know her parents very well, in fact have never spoken to her mum. But her dad likes DH and I don't want to upset things, I've had neighbour probs before (childhood) and don't want to go there again...

Her parents have started going out early in the morning, leaving her on my doorstep without asking, and not returning till 7pm, and she has no key or anything...

How on earth am I going to get rid of her I am so stressed I feel ill I've got two under three and a deliquent ... but at the same time I can't upset her family, it would be hell.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH

(hello, I'm FA - the saga lady... remember me? lol)

OP posts:
mimitwo · 27/07/2006 11:27

This reply has been deleted

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ISpyTrouble · 27/07/2006 11:27

well personally I think so. another user did point out that if she didn't know this user had posted before she would have thought it was a wind up. I still think it is.

shimmy21 · 27/07/2006 11:32

Lemontart- shocked that you are shocked by my shock!

but your next post helped me understand more where you were coming from.

And anyway, in light of other comments perhaps I should stop worrying about it and get back to work too.

WigWamBam · 27/07/2006 11:44

FA made a mistake, which she has apologised for more than once. Making a mistake doesn't make someone a liar, and I don't believe that she is lying here. Let's not turn this thread into another witch-hunt.

leander · 27/07/2006 11:54

agree with wwb, It seems to me that if she wanted to lie she would have posted under another name but using her regular name.yes fa had problems recently but I thought that was over,

bubblez · 27/07/2006 11:57

FA I wish that I had some advice. I know that this may seem harsh but you need to be really firm and just keep her away from your fam, she is unpredictable and seems quite disturbed if you ask me...

BTW I have seen Fastasleep post many times before over many occations.

bubblez · 27/07/2006 11:58

sos I meant to add I agree with wwb

wannaBe1974 · 27/07/2006 12:00

aside from the fact the child appears to be left with you on a daily basis, it sounds to me as if she has some serious psychological problems. It may just be that the sobbing down the phone is her being a drama queen, but the rest, trashing your house and upsetting your kids is indicative of some serious underlying problem imo. I would definitely speak to the parents and say that unfortunately you can't look after her as you have other commitments, but I would also mention to them the problems you've been having with this little girl. It's quite possible they're totally unaware of how their daughter is behaving. If they fail to take this on board then I think you should definitely call social services. apart from the potential neglect I think this child needs professional help.

donnie · 27/07/2006 12:13

this thread is a sad wind up IMO.

pathetic really.

donnie · 27/07/2006 12:16

just read the original post.

overturning tables?

attacking both children

the parents have ' started going out early' - so they didn't before then?

Sorry but don't believe a word.

LemonTart · 27/07/2006 12:37

shimmy21 -
I must I must I must get back to work too. Just can?t resist checking now and again to switch off for two mins (better than a nicotene habit i guess!) Also, wanted to check you weren?t still cross at me and thinking I was some unsympathetic "lets abandon all the difficult kids in the world because they are not worth help" type person. I can be quite nice sometimes....

mimitwo · 27/07/2006 12:40

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ComeOVeneer · 27/07/2006 12:42

I read the initial first few posts and thought what a sad situation but then the more information come along and I started to think this doesn't add up, eg how did she get hold of the telephone number, where is she calling from, and how on earth does she let herself into the house? I'm afraid I am starting to smell a rat. FA if this isn't genuine you really aren't helping yourself. Not the way to ender yourself to the rest of mn I'm afraid.

Original poster
Fastasleep · 27/07/2006 12:42

well I should've known not to post but MTS/ItalianJob can tell you this is not a wind up she met her yesterday. Would you like me to drag her to SpaceCadets house so that she can come and post from her sickbed that this isn't a wind up?! As MTS isn't posting anymore.

I can't believe anyone would think I would do anything like this. I've never posted a wind up in my life (I've done some jokey threads in my time, yes, but they were very obvious)

I made a mistake is all and I have apologised profusely. Thanks so much for being so forgiving and being so helpful in not letting this colour your judgement of my current problems... you wonderful lot you, I do love MN. You sure know how to a kick a girl when she's down, crying and pulling her hair out don't you.

OP posts:
misdee · 27/07/2006 12:45

FA the majority of the posters are offering you good advice. only a handful arent.

dinosaur · 27/07/2006 12:45

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

donnie · 27/07/2006 12:45

is this girl there at your house right now?

donnie · 27/07/2006 12:46

is this girl there at your house right now?

what have you done about the alleged situation since you started this thread?

donnie · 27/07/2006 12:46

is this girl there at your house right now?

what have you done about the alleged situation since you started this thread?

Original poster
Fastasleep · 27/07/2006 12:47

Well I can tell you she got my phone number because her parents have it.

She got my email (which I didn't tell you but she does have) because my msn was on screen and she snoops.

She calls from her house, and she has a mobile phone (like a housebrick it is)

But you know, whatever, just carry on...

OP posts:
Kelly1978 · 27/07/2006 12:47

fastasleep please don't let mn get to you, you have enough on your plate already. I would contact your HV, since you feel cmforatble doing that. She can then advise or take action as she thinks is appropriate.
I don't think you can jsut shut the door on her, as in a way you have allowed it to get to this stage by not stopping it earlier, and she is a child who needs help. But you don't need this shit for your family, so something has to be done to help her and stop her from relying on you so heavily. I hope you get somethign sorted soon. x

Original poster
Fastasleep · 27/07/2006 12:49

I have made an appt with my HV and she went out with her parents this morning, thank god. I feel shit today so I haven't done anything else.

DD needed to see the HV anyway

OP posts:
Original poster
Fastasleep · 27/07/2006 12:49

Yeah misdee etc but that handful are making my life on MN suck. And I'm fed up with it now.

OP posts:
ComeOVeneer · 27/07/2006 12:50

Well as I said I smell a rat, if it is genuine I apologise, just seems rather far fetched IMO.

Original poster
Fastasleep · 27/07/2006 12:52

I can't help smelling ratty - it doesn't make it any less true.

I would never ever in a million years in my drunkest moment want to post a wind up like this - I mean worrying you about a poor girl who sounds like she's being negleced!? That's fcking awful I would not* do that.

That's sick. It's disgusting me that there are people who think I would.

OP posts: