in honour of sensible names like Alan..

[Geoffrey]

...I'm going to be Geoffrey for a bit

oh you must get the mac, i already have it and it has big pockets too so i can get my pension book and hanky in no problem

take a look at the braces too they are fab i have the tartan ones.

Hello Lads anyone coming down the Legion? I hear you get a free pint of tetley's if we get there before 9.

will see you there Harold got to go to bookies first.

I'd love to Harold. Only I'm stuck in tonight. Have already weeded Win's garden, she's now got me pruning her bush.

Oh s'ok lance you get on with it, it is getting a bit chilly tonight you best go and stoke her fire as well.

Check and see if Derek or Walter are taken yet...
not to mention Albert and Ronald?

Oy Pierre what's that about a french Wilfred? Surely can't be? Don't they have odd, foreign names?

And as for them punk rockers.

Pierre et moi are just bon amis

Kenneth, how bona to vada your dolly old eek!

Oh no I killed the thread.

What does hte name Maurice say to you - is it camp, louche old fart or sensible old grump in a shed wearing a grey cardigan ?

I prefer camp meself. Am talking shite cos I am pissed as a fart!

ah um think they may have been me, rendering 'Cyril' null and void.. getting forgetful in my old age, giving me a few identity issues. I called meslef Cyril but I am Hank for sure. I think.

Off to deal with me hemorrhoids; they're playin me up something chronic. Still, won't be that that'll send me off in a box I doubt. Probably something much more serious. Six feet under is where I'm headed.

[I'm modelling Hank on my dad.. this is so easy!]

Yes it does sound camp to me too unless unless your real name is Morris said with a bad sarf london accent and then it screams wheeler dealer