in honour of sensible names like Alan..

[Geoffrey]

...I'm going to be Geoffrey for a bit

big pokey things are by nature not sensible imo.

george is v sensible.

Good evening, I am Hank. Would anyone care to see my etchings?

come again,love?

big pokey things?

evening gents
pontefract cake anyone?

that'd be grand Hank

don't mind if I do Keith, ta

Ah Keith! I saw you at the clap clinic didn't I? You offered me a Woodbine in the porch...

who was to blame their gents? Ada or Doris?

Excellent for shifting things alone the nether regions them there Pontefracts.. they ought to be payin' me commission these days! Wish the same amount of action could be said for me other nether region. Anyone had postitive experiences with that there Viagra? Or should I go with the thing that you inject... My Mavis still 'as her needs, so she keeps tellin' me...

(Mavis don't know about the clap clinic by the way gents.. mum's the word eh!)

crabs, was it Hank?

I have heard it's doing the rounds at the WI

or was it the WRVS?

Love "I speak as I find". Want to find something to speak at now

I saw a french punk on the tram yesterday with a chunky silver id bracelet which had "Wilfred" engraved on it.

Who has already taken the name "Lionel" then?

All the names have been taken!!

I was going to tell you all about my day up at the allotment but instead am going to make myself a cuppa and sulk in my shed.

All men should have a shed to sulk in. 'Tis the way down a slippery slope to be without

You do not want to know what I get up to in my shed....

I did hear a rumour Jason - was it Phillip making late nights trips 'up yours'?

Almost impossible to get a good name, mustn't grumble though...

PML....

Well I wouldnt like to start any rumours, but that darts team he says he on... it doesnt exist

Have found one at last!

Hello all, my name is Maurice and I'm still sulking in my shed

lol at Maurice and the desperate attempts to get a old blokes name.

hello chaps, did anyone else order those grey slip on shoes from the free mag in the sunday papers the other week?

very comfy

yes Lance i did, they are very comfy too i can even get them on over me corn plasters

oh arthur, aren't they grand? Even with my bunions I can get them on. How are your corns these days?

I'm thinking of buying the beige mac from there, did you see it?