Do you think you're fat?

[ThingsThatGoHumpInTheNight]

I do. And I'm wrong. I know rationally I am not fat. I am 5'5 weigh 9st7ish, dress size 8-10, body fat 18-22%, you can see my ribs from behind and my abs in front....so why oh why do I constantly feel crap about myself?

I do eat more crap than I probably should do (chocolate 5 times a week ) and I do carry weight up top (32FF boobs)...but I am not fat. So why do I feel like I am? Constantly worry that I am. People I don't know well (new work colleagues, random people at parties) make offhand comments 'healthy breakfast again eh?' this morning as I ate a croissant and fruit at my desk and it makes me feel awful.

Are other people like this? Why????

Sorry to anyone this offends...I feel for people with weight issues, I really do, but been thinking about this today (sparked by comment this morning) and wondering if I am the only one?

Well, im around 10st 7lbs and im 5ft 5 approx. I am not fat according to the nhs weight and height chart but if i put on a few lbs that will be me. Who sets these scales though? I mean years ago it was accepted that people were slightly bigger - if you look at the likes of Marlyn Monroe and even some of the old paintings. Generally what would be considered overweight now would be far more accepted then. Makes you wonder who sets the scales and who is driving the ideal weight thing. If i were to loose the amount of weight stated to be close to the bottom of my weight range i know i would look ill cause ive been there and have photos and i dont look good and my dh was really worried about me. So surely that cant be right. I always think i look fat even although i am a size 12 and according to the charts im not. I hate myself in photos and just see myself as really horrible and big when i look at them :( I do agree its about proportions though and i do think that its the media driving the image for women to be super skinny. My dh is overweight and is happy as larry. I wish i felt that free not to care and do from time to time until i see myself in photos and then i want to cry and go on an immediate diet! [like now!!!]

Yes, I feel like I'm fat, but actually have BMI of about 25, I think. I'm size 14, 5 feet 7, would like to lose nearly a stone. However, I'm now aware it's a self esteem issue and think whatever I weigh I would not be happy about my appearance. I spend a lot of time looking for the elusive clothes that will make me look good, but never find them. I'm also aware I eat when I'm bored or for comfort.

If MN could run an online thing to help with these issues, I'm sure that would help a lot of us!

Also my posture is terrible, which doesn't help the way I look

this book is good as it is a cbt approach to losing weight
It doesn't recommend any diet
It simply teaches you about your thoughts around food and gives you ways to try to start getting in control of them

Thingsyhatgo- I just saw this thread and I want to cry. You are certainly not fat. God I wish I was size 8-10 with 32 ff boobs and 9stone 7lbs. My willpower is s**t. I am at least a stone overweight. I eat sweets and chocolate because I crave the sweetness I think as my life is stressful.

Holly, it's not that your willpower is shit, more that cravings are very powerful things.
Thats not to say they cant be dealt with but I think something more subtle and strategic than the brute force of willpower is often called for!

I'm 5ft 5' and weight 12 stone. I'm a size 16. I'm 36.

after I had my last baby, I was 13 and a half stone and a size 20.

I have always had a belly. Even at my thinnest, when I was a teenager, when my BMI was in the healthy range, I was a size 14. My arms and legs, and my face, are thin, I don't carry any weight on them at all. Even at a size 16, I have a gap between my thighs when my legs are together.

I will always think of myself as fat. It is ingrained in my head in the same way that I will always be female, or white. But, I think that I have come to terms with how I look, and I can accept it. If I lost a stone and a half, which would take me into the healthy range, my boobs would be deflated and empty. My arms and legs would look too thin, and my face would look haggard. I'm not suddenly going to look like a model.

I can live with looking this way. My DH fancies me, and doesn't want me to lose anymore. Enough people in my life have found me attractive. I'm middle aged, intelligent, I have a long term partner and all the children I want. Why the hell am I chasing this idea of wanting to look young and slim. It won't make me happy, it won't change my life. So sod it! (Eats another biscuit)

I've just finished reading the whole thread and it's very interesting to see how hung up we are

Someone up thread said (Estelle? - sorry, on iPad, can't check) that they don't weigh them themselves, just eat healthily. That's how it should be. The media have a lot to answer for, bombarding us with pics of how we should look.

Recommend watching The Men Who Made Us Thin, very interesting, about who came up with the BMI, the diet industry etc.

I definitely don't want my daughters worrying about their weight, figure and appearance, but don't know how to instil a different way of thinking in them.

I watched 'The Men Who Made Us Thin' on iPlayer last night and found it very interesting and insightful.

Looking forward to the next three episodes.

That was me indeed, loopy, and I totally agree with you. I think it's so important to engage with and have a healthy, happy relationship with food and to not be scared of it.

I was watching Little Miss Sunshine last night and just wanted to smack the idiotic dad who guilts his little daughter into not eating a tiny bowl of ice cream because 'Miss America doesn't eat ice cream.' But then her uncle, brother and grandad all dig in and make her feel ok about enjoying a little treat. I have no desire to be obese but I'd feel my life would be far less rich had I not tried Aberdeen butteries, bone marrow, pizzetta bianca, escargots, Red Velvet Ben and Jerry's, baklawa and plenty of other great things. I'd never have had these experiences had I not challenged the part of me that said food was to be feared, or a moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips.

I find it quite hard to relate to the idea that my life could be enriched by certain delicious foods, I like ice cream but I dont enjoy it as much as I enjoy being slim/healthy
I guess the old adage that some eat to live and others live to eat may be true

I am fat. I am 12st 12 ish and a dress size 14-16 at 5ft 6inches.

I am lucky in that I have a waist. I do exercise (run 3/4 times a week). I am not happy at all with my weight and am currently low GI'ing. I think I may also go into the realms of 5:2 as my low gi diet sometimes suffers at weekends due to going out for dinner and a takeaway with my family.

It does make me miserable but I think I would be happy at 11st and a BMI of 24.

Marilyn Monroe had a BMI of around 22. Her waist was tiny.

I look after myself because I want to be there to have fun with my grandchildren, not to be somebody my children have to care for due to chronic avoidable illnesses.

You can disregard the evidence all you like but it is there and its true.
Fat people are much more likely to be ill later in life.
The choice is yours.
Cake or health.

Life is never that straightforward, Talkinpeace

Being morbidly obese hugely increases the risk of poor health. Being overweight less so. One can live healthily, and be stuck down early, or live a life of terrible debauchery and live till you're ninety. You are talking about reducing risks, not certainty.

I chose to live a life with more risks, but which I enjoy. I do not chose to live it in feeling insecure about my body, and restricting my pleasure. Each to their own. I don't judge you for making your choice. And clearly you are happy with it. But don't assume that it makes you a better person than me. Because that is how you sound.

Estelle, oddly some of my fondest memories evolve around good food/meals. I lost my sense of smell/taste a lot of the time for twenty years and only recently regained it. I think it affected how I ate as I could only taste sweet, sour, bitter etc. I could remember how lovely some things smelt/tasted and missed it a lot. Now I have my sense of smell/taste back again a lot of the time and I am really enjoying eating/drinking. I wouldn't want to miss that. I love the taste of warm doughnuts or pancakes with lemon and sugar. I guess the thing is having what you enjoy, but not to excess, knowing when to stop.

Oh no, Talk, definitely cake AND health. Everything in moderation, eat only what you need, don't eat between meals, never diet, exercise enough, respect your body and don't fill it with crap. But definitely eat cake.

But Talkinpeace, there is overweight and there is obese. Being obese is no doubt unhealthy in the long run, but what used to be normal is now classed as fat compared to the skinny models we see in the media.

We need to not be obsessed with weight and realise the photos we see in the media are photoshopped.

Haven't read all the most - sorry.
I'm 5'6" weigh about 9st 4lbs. I am size 8 on the top and 10 on the bottom, with a small waist about 25-26 inches. Most days I feel ok. I run 3 or 4 times a week, swim and cycle. But I have a complex about my thighs - I think they are massive. My tummy also seems to swell if I eat too many carbs - then I think I look fat.

But surely it's not cake or health, Talkinpeace. They're not mutually exclusive.

As AltogetherAndrews quite rightly says, weight is not the only factor that determines when someone dies.

I barely drink, mostly because it interferes with the meds I'm on. Most people I know drink every week. My liver is probably in a better state than many of my peers, but I'm not going to judge them or tell them that. Avoiding alcohol doesn't make me a better person. Nor does eating ice cream and enjoying it make me weak or reckless.

Sorry, I was channelling Eddie Izzard.

And no, sorry. If your BMI is over 25 (23 if you are Asian) you need to take steps today to improve your diet and health.

talkin-the more you spout the more convinced I am you actually have an eating disorder

No, I don't need to do anything!

You have decided that it is important to you based on the evidence. I have looked at the same information. I don't need educating. I have come to a different choice. I'm fine.

In answer to your question talkin-

5'6-no idea what I weigh but dress size 14/16.
37 but told I look younger-chubby face will do that for you.
Go swimming twice a week and just started a jive class.
Don't smoke but enjoy wine and the occasional gin and tonic.

Personally I think under 9 stone is far too thin for someone of your height but only my opinion. I abhor gym and diet bores.

Talkin, watch The People Who Made Us Thin. The BMI was dreamt up by an insurance company!!

My liver is probably in a better state than many of my peers, but I'm not going to judge them or tell them that.

I sometimes do. I watched my mother die of liver failure, and it wasn't fun.