Struggling to be happy for the peer-group couple who announce the Stealth Third Child

[suzywong]

Anyone else?

I mean it's all well and good if you have always announce your intention to have more than two, but then to sneak another one in after a few years of being compadres in the quadrilateral 2+2 family/friends strata. But to sneak another child in, right under my nose!

I want to be happy for them, very happy - it's a wonderful thing of joy BUT why do I feel a slightly abrasive knot of jealoulsy in my stomach? Is this other couple blatantly announcing their superior dedication to children and chid rearing and happy families? Am I not dedicated enough? Was my confinement not sufficiently radiant, was my Maternal prowess not gracious and mild enough to make me and dh want another offspring?

Anyone else find it initially hard to be happy for contemporaries, I mean same age or older and pretty similar people, who suddenly announce a third child in the offing? I don't having this knot and I am jealous of their dedication and decisiveness.

Is this a syndrome or am I a bitter and twisted old hag?

Not me. I can only think "poor sods". Never felt broody, even now I am expecting No.2. First one was not an easy baby, so dreading it now ...

her house will smell of piss.

I feel a bit sad that Bumblelion feels the need to 'justify' her three childrens' existance,on here and any where.
Be proud Mums of three and more!

She doesn't need to justify them to US

We are the ones green with envy

I have two sorts of envy:

1. People with 2+ children envy
2. Camper van envy (I have an old Skoda - I know that people with camper vans are off solving mysteries every weekend - usually with their well-adjusted 2+ children)

MP, We have a camper van but only the 2 children.

We are not off solving mysteries every weekend -perhaps if I had amother baby so we became a 2+ child family, we would to that..[thoughful pondering emoticon]

Ah, but the camper van really only sleeps 3 or 4 at a squeeze. After that you have the hassle of erecting the tent as well, so much better for a family with 2 or less children.

And I still haven't ever driven the wonderful thing, ever. It is parked outside our front door, taunting me with its promise of adventure. But it needs a new exhaust (so off to the garage next week)then I begin to learn how to double declutch and show my hugely sceptical dh that I can handle it, then the world is my oyster.

I still have campervan envy though tigermoth. If you wake up and find it gone one morning you won't have to look far. Don't worry though - any sleeping-over tigercubs will be tenderly slung onto the pavement before we make off with it.

ooo yes, I'd trade my third for a campervan. I'd trade all of them for the gypsy style life some of my friends have. Year in France, now in NZ.

Sigh

suzywong - you could do what our friends did when faced with our (not at all stealth) third child. They started having sleepovers for their twosomes - ie one friday night one friend would have another friend's kids so they could have night out and lie in on Sat and then they'd swap the next week. We are not included in this due to ds2. I am envious beyond belief of their neat arrangement and have been trying to flog off one of my children so I can join in. Also v envious of enid's friends and their skinny jeans.

Marina - it would be difficult, but not impossible to sling out ds1 on the pavement - but I warn you, he is a pretty immoveable when soundly asleep :)

bon voyage btw!

oh dear. I have a camper van and am pg with third...
It's lucky we have camper as any other vehicle is going to be a tight fit with dog and buggy in boot as well.

niceglasses, I can assure you from bitter personal experience that it is possible to have a camper van and still not have the gypsy lifestlye.

do you double de-cluth cupcakes?

Am I the only BAD MUM who admits to occasional stealth envy of people with only one child?

Sorry haven't read all this thread, but I'll stick my twopenn'orth in anyway

1. I think it is now very trendy these days in a middle class, Boden family sort of way, to have at least 3 children, often 4 or more. Probably because it's a sign of how affluent you are - with 3 or more kids it's hard for it to be financially viable for the mother to work.
2. I, too, feel a wee knot of resentment when people deliberately have more than 2 children. I have 2 boys & absolutely no desire for any more (am almost looking forward to the menopause ) & when other people have more than that I feel like it's casting aspersions on my parenting skills - how can I possibly be a good mother if I don't want gazillions of children running around. It can also come across as smug (having lots of children) "Look at me, I'm sooooo laid back & groovy & fertile, I can cope with constant chaos & no sleep". I've got a neighbour like that.

All this doubtless says a lot more about me than them...

A Mum at toddlers announced this morning she is pregnant again she has twin DDs aged 22 months and another DD aged 5 months!!!! She's only 23 as well.

My DDs are 22 and 4 months but I already feel like theres still someone missing from our family although I'm going to have more of a gap this time.

Yeah,you're right that post says quite alot about you.

I've got 3 and yes, like lots of other posters I always feel slightly jealous when friends announce pregnancies. However, when we announced our 3rd pregnancy, we met pretty much with people saying, are you mad, is it a mistake, just quite neg. remarks and I was q. hurt - poss. q. hormonal, but whilst not expecting ecstatic reactions, some quiet positivity would have been welcomed.

Not me - I am happy with my 2 gorgeous boys and I don't care how many anyone else wants to have.

In fact now my younger ds is starting school in Sept, I'm looking forwad to a whole new era of freedom - more nappies? - no thanks, not for me

Derive comfort from one mum with 3: Love them all etc etc I am youngest of 3 so question wether motivation to have third is some way of justifying my own position in the world...but am reaching children saturation point. DH works abroad a lot and am turning into negligent "Oh just turn the bloody telly on if you want to" kind of mum. Its hard work if you are on your own much of the time and it IS 50% more washing, soothing, tidying up than with 2. I worried during a flight (on my own with kids) that should 'anything happen' I wouldn't have enough arms to hold them all... Your feelings will pass. Your time for smugness is nigh. Enjoy!

havinmg three is fab

and you do feel smug in the playground

oh well its better than nothing

huge mistake reading this thread

HUGE

i want 3 now