The things kids say

[Ailsa]

Having recently had my eyes tested and bought some new glasses, the first time I wore them dd (age 7 yrs) announced that they are ugly and they make my face look ugly!

A week or so later, I was sat on the sofa helping ds (age 4 yrs) get ready for school, the conversation as as follows,

ds: "Mummy, your glasses make you look ugly"
me: "Oh!"
ds: "Only joking!"

Anyone else got any gems?

Awhile ago whilst out walking the dog we walked past the local church as the service was just finishing and people were leaving. My DS1 who was about just over 3 at the time looked through the doors down and the aisle and said 'Mummy, is that a pub?' I found it so amusing that I couldn't explain exactly what went on in a church for quite a while.
As I don't drink and haven't been in a pub in about 2 years I can only assume that DH is taking DS for a swift pint when my back is turned!!

Me to three year old son "don't answer me back"
Three year old replied "but mummy I like talking to you"

Same 3yo "can I play with my ear but not my willie?"

While watching a programme about monkeys that had been abused and then rescued. It was said that this animal had cigarette burns on it. Whilst i was sadly looking on my ds clasped his hand to his mouth and said OMG that monkey's been smoking! He is nearly 4.

lol @ tinker

don't you hate it when they out-logic you?

Tinker!

I shouldn't really laugh, but lately when i tell my 3 year old son off, he will mutter under his breath 'i'm gonna whack you in a minute'(playschool!!!!!), when i say 'what did you say' he replied 'mmm i'm gonna cuddle you in a minute'.

My 20 mth ds is probably a bit young to contribute much to this thread, but this did make me giggle.

When an estate agent was viewing our house, measuring up etc, looked in our downstairs WC... ds points and says in a loud clear voice "WEE WEE!"

We were listening to my loud CHristian music the other day, and one of the songs drifts into a prayer.
dd 'What's that man saying'
me 'He's speaking to Jesus'
dd 'I want to BE Jesus mummy'
me 'you cant be Jesus'
dd 'oh mummy you're so mean'

My ds was being a bit...exhuberant (sp?) this evening at my parents' house. After a lengthy conversation my Mum asked him "who makes the decisions?" His response was "I do and you just choose to gwt cross with me!" He's 4.

I'm feeling c**p today, have a realy heavy cold and have no energy,well, only enough to remain slumped in front of the PC.My DS just asked, "Mum, why are we all staying in our PJ's today", so I thought I'd be honest, "Because Mummy does not feel well, and can't be bothered to dress everyone",...."Oh !! Alright can I go and watch Cartoon network again".

That was my house today too Jac!

Getting ready for the office today - suit and pale blue stripey shirt - 3yo dd " Mummy, you can't go to work like that - you are still wearing your pyjamas". Funny enough I did wonder if the shirt was a bit pyjamay....

Doing dd's hair this morning, she looked in the mirror and said "I can see my brainline!" I laughed and said that's not what it's called and she said, oh yes it's called your parts, isn't it. She then looked at the can of mousse and asked if it was to kill snakes (pointing out the words "Shake can"!) and then asked why it said "mouse" on it too... It was a good try at reading anyway!

Mollipops Had me giggling. I REALLY can't wait until ds comes out with some gems!He's 18 months, and STILL not talking except for a few odd words, which seems to be missing a few consonants! Oh well, that is for another thread I suppose...

My 2.6 year old ds has just begun doing a very strange thing, although it has me laughing as I type - he goes and stands near a window or a door and yells "HELP!!!" at the top of his voice. I have no idea where it's come from but I rushed up to him this morning going "SSSHHHH!! Be quiet!" because there were people walking past our house and he was standing at the window yelling out "help", over and over. Just wonder what they thought...

I realised that perhaps dd1 (3) hadn't mastered the finer points of 'I-Spy' after the following exchange:
dd1: I spy something beginning with 'seagull'!
Me: Errr, seagull?
dd1: (triumphantly) No! Horse!

my ds 3y was picking his nose (as they do) and there was nothing there, and he truned round and said "oh well daddy will have to get some more from the shop"!!!!!!!

and just yesterday i told him to go to the loo because we were on our way out, he came out the loo and said " i cant do a wee wee, daddy will have to fix it"

my mum has just had a baby and she had just came home from the hospital, we were all sat down in the bedroom and the baby started crying my mum said that she thinks that he's ready for a bottle, next thing my 8y db came upstairs with bottle with nothing in it, holding in the other hand 4paint milk (cow's milk) asking how much dose the baby have

Ds (aged 5) has been worrying that no one will want to marry him (! - of course they will - he's gorgeous, of course... ).

Yesterday I asked him what he would do if more than one girl wanted to marry him. He thought for a moment, then said 'go eeny meeny miny mo!' Then he thought again, and said that his best friend could always have one to marry too.

If only life were that simple

Dd (2y 10m) asked me to carry her down the stairs yesterday because "I've got cold feet on my foots".

Also, when I told her dh had gone to the gym she said very seriously "I never go to the gym. I always go to the doctor". Wish I knew what went on in her head sometimes!

A few months back me and ds went on the bus, we were the only ones at the very back, i had popped off i thought i was safe but then my ds said what's that smell, i said "nothing" then he said "mum you smell like a stinkey poo poo" i went very red as everyone looked round at me.

ds #2 of 7m was sitting in his high eating some bits, ds #1 3y walked up to him and said "look at the fu**ing mess ki!" he got that from his dad

My ds has started going round the house saying "F*k....F*k... "

Dh and looked at each other in horror until we realased he's actually saying "Frog....frog..." he's got a wee pull along frog that he enjoys getting to "hop" !

Lol, my dd keeps asking "where's my titty" had me worried for a while until I realised she was saying "kitty"

my ds #2 3y came into the bathroom when i was taking a bath and said "look mummy you've got chcolate bottons stuck to your boobes"