The things kids say

[Ailsa]

Having recently had my eyes tested and bought some new glasses, the first time I wore them dd (age 7 yrs) announced that they are ugly and they make my face look ugly!

A week or so later, I was sat on the sofa helping ds (age 4 yrs) get ready for school, the conversation as as follows,

ds: "Mummy, your glasses make you look ugly"
me: "Oh!"
ds: "Only joking!"

Anyone else got any gems?

Anais, that reminds me of when DS1 came up to me and said "you're so beautiful". It did rather lose its warm fuzziness when I heard him say the same thing to his plastic gorrilla though

Boxing Day afternoon - DS (4.5) "How many days till christmas mummy?" Aghhhhhhhhh......

Kathrine, that reminds me of something ds said about 2 weeks ago. His birthday is on 19th dec (he was 5) On the 20th he said "I am 6 soon!!!!!"

This was a letter in The Sun newspaper on the 'what kids say' page. it was so funny I cut it out and kept it.
It goes- When some builders came to fix the garden wall our 3 yr old niece had great fun helping them with her bucket and spade, after which they gave her 50p.
I took her to the corner shop to spend it and there she told the lady she had worked hard all day for it. When the lady asked if she would be working again tomorrow, she replied "only if the f*ing bricks arrive" I wonder where she got that from!!

When I read this I laughed for hours and even now reading it months later it still makes me chuckle.

Which reminds me of an occasion when DH and I were strapping DS1 and 2 in the car. they were a wee bit boisterous so I said "blooming kids", DH said "dratted kids" and DS1 said "f kids". It's honestly not a word we use!

While i had an engineer round looking at my boiler, my 3 year old son kept talking to him, talking about the animals in his farm he got for christmas, you can imagine my horror when my son picked up and camel and said "do you want to see his tits" i cringed as the engineer roared with laughter.

No gems from DS yet (only 15months) but several (eek Many) years ago my youngest neice (5 at the time) came up with the following on my 21st!

Neice: How old are you Auntie K?
Me : How old do you think I am?
Neice : (long pause for thought - much hair twiddling) Weeeelll! You're not as old as Mummy & Daddy so you must be .... about 40!
Brother who is 15 years old than me : Oh God, in that case I've got one foot in the grave.
Neice : No you have Daddy - you've got two feet in slippers!

i have a gem from my god-son, who was 6 at the time. we were all at a wedding reception and i had a low cut top on (i'm big up top), i mean't down to talk to him and he laughed and said "oh look, you have a bum on your belly), after that incident i always covered up my cleavage.

My son aged 4 was sitting at the dinner table yesterday , and had been dressed in (what he considers)his finest clothes by his sisters, in honour of my birthday. He was being so well behaved , then he looked at me and said, "mummy I love you so much, and I am not going to wipe your kisses off anymore!" Hehe

DD heard the weather forecast yesterday and informed me we were going to have 'rain and sleepy showers'.

TIme for bed in the rain then?

yeah that one reminds me of my DS, when we were out at a bus stop it was raining, some old dear said to him "its raining isn't it" yes he replied "its pi**ing down" hes 3 and didn't get that from me.

DS had the lovely book "Guess How Much I Love You" when he was (even) smaller, and we often used to tell each other "I love you right up to the moon and back". He's recently started learning about the various planets at nursery, and how much further they are away than the moon. A few days ago it was "I love you right up to mars and back", and after I'd mended his bionicle, it became "I love you right up to saturn and back". I'm just hoping they have a politically correct pronounciation for uranus when they come to it at nursery!

on a crowded bus weeks ago i son turned to me when the chair in front made a noise and said "did that man fart" i said "no it was the chair making a noise, and the word is popped off" he looked at me with that face and said "no mummy he farted", you can teach them so much but when they go to play-school........

Happydays, that had me chuckling for ages....thanks!!

I am now not allowed in my the bathroom when my 3 yr old ds is having a poo, i have to wait outside till i am called, i couldn't help laughing the other day when he said "can i have a book, i might be a while", starting young, copying daddy no doubt.

I have been selling so many things on UKP that today when I asked DD (age 4) where the Gruffalo book was (just sold it) she said "why what are you going to do with it"? Astute already! R

Just been to the supermarket and when dd saw the Pot Noodles she shouted out "Mum, they're for dirty people aren't they?". What can you say to that? I'm glad nobody was buying any at the time. Talk about the power of advertising - it has probably put her off them for a few years anyway.

My DS age 7 said "look Mum, I can lick my armpit".

Lol Rhiannon

Ds (3 1/2) is in nursery but his two best friends have 'gone to Perception' (reception)

Why is God called God - when he was born he was called Jesus? Grace aged 4!

Jesus and armpits on the same thread, where else! LOL.
Cll, I should get Grace to try this one out on the Vicar asap

Had a bit of a shouting row with my daughter tonight. When I told her she must try not to shout at me like that, her excuse was that she was tired and bad tempered and that I shout as well. Then, the killer, I've only had 5 years to try to stop getting so bad tempered but you've had 38!'

DD in the car with childminder "is that a pub?", childminder "yes", dd "I don't like Guinness"...Cue Child Protection Agency...