whats the most embarressing thing you child has said in public?

[jco]

i was sat in a very croweded but quiet doctors waiting room with ds(5) this afternoon and my stomach rumbled, he said very loudly;

"mummy, did you just trump?"
me " no, it was my tummy"
DS "it wasn't, you trumped, i heard you"!!!

and last week in swimming baths changing room dd(7) said " mummy, why is your flower so hairy?"

(flower is what we call ladies down below bits)

we were in a charity shop and dd was eyeing out the (very elderly) assistant. I could see the assistant was going to come over and talk to dd and dd looked very apprehensive. Finally, dd (at the top of her voice) said 'mummy, is that (pointing at the assistant) a girl or a boy person?'.

Also, we went to Ikea in Croydon and got stuck in dreadful traffic so went into McDonalds to feed the kids. It was heaving and there were quite a few families with women who had tattoos all over their arms. One of the cleaners had a very large tattoo and dd said loudly 'why has that woman drawn all over her arm mummy. Did she not wash it off in the bath?' at which point, the cleaner made a beeline for our table and started ranting and raving about how she wished she'd never had a tattoo, she wanted it off, never ever ever get one etc.....so I made my excuses and we went and ate in the car.

On first shopping trip after having DD, trying to buy something that would make me look vaguely nice for a work do of DH's. DS was crawling under the door of the changing room having a lovely time.
He came under to my side, got up on his knees, slapped his hands on my legs and shouted, "Ooooh, look at those lovely great big fat wobbly thighs!"

When my dd was about 18 months old, we were having trouble with a boy racer across the road, always blasting out loud music, revving up his car for an hour at a time and the usual sort of petty but annoying things that teenage drivers do. He was excelling himself one afternoon while I'd been trying to feed dd, and was still at it while I was trying to get her to have a nap, and I muttered under my breath, "Moron!". I said it once, I have never, ever said it again ... dd is almost 5 now, and to this day (despite my telling her that it's not his name and it's not a nice thing to call him) she calls him Moron.

Which is OK except for the time when his brother was out washing his car, and dd wandered over and asked, very loudly and very clearly, "What are you washing Moron's car for? Can't Moron do it himself?"

"Granma, you're very old, are you going to die soon?"

DP's family are not known for dealing with reality really, they are euphemism family.

I am an antichrist
I am an anarchist

oh god i've not laughed so much in ages!! better go a put on a tenna lady pad thing!!!!!

jco - hope you said it was because it needed to be kept specially warm!

Big Issue seller was wearing an eye patch

dd said "Mummy mummy! A pirate!"

"Mummy, is that your booby?" . loudly, in the middle of the confession in an otherwise silent church. [blush

When dd1 was about 3 we were out shopping and a coloured lady was walking towards us when dd said
"mummy look at the chololate lady"
the lady smile and carried on walking.
Then a cople of chrstmasses ago mil's friend gave her a anne summers calender, staring at a man in a posing pouch dd said "daddy have you got one of those" dh said "they don't make them to fit my size darling" dd replied "don't they make them that small?"

ds1 aged 3, "Mammy, I can see your vagina!" when I brought him into a public loo with me.
The first time he saw a black person was in our doctor's waiting room and he said loudly, "Mammy, look at that man, he's a very funny man!" (Luckily the man was very nice and laughed and agreed with him!)
On seeing a very fat lady at the swimming pool, he asked loudly why that man had such a fat tummy. As if it wasn't bad enough commenting on her weight, he had to defeminise her as well!
Oh, and in Tesco's he announced that he was 3, ds2 was 1, Mammy was 31 and Daddy was 16! (Daddy was 33 at the time!)

In a queue in tesco - ds2 crying (aged about 11 months)
Ds1 says( aged 3.5) get your boobs out mam he needs to suck on your big fat boobs

"look Mummy there's a storymaker" as we passed a black bloke sitting outside a cafe in Glasgow

"Mummy that lady farted and didn't say 'excuse me'" as we stood in a queue in John Lewis

'Mummy why have your legs got fur on?'

and, smiling to her Godmother, 'You look like a pig'.

another from ds1 -
in a queue at the chemist 0 lady right in front of us
mam this woman here (prodding er..) looks like the fat lady on balamory

I am loving these.

on a train with the little girl i used to look after

"I don't like that man, he's SO ugly" (he was sitting opposite)

PMSL!

dd1 (nearly 8) is tought by an old school friend of mine (male) and when he told dd she is just like I was at that age she told him "I'm not a stroppy little bitch"
My mum had said this in jest to me last week.

DS1 is a star popsycalindisguise-tears of laughter

dd when 2 in Sandringham public toilets (lots of old ladies on day trips)

"mummu are you doing a poo?
"no (in hushed tones)"
"yes you are doing a poo mummy!"

ds last week at doc surgery.
pointing
"look at that fat man" in very loud voice!

DD1 once asked an old man in the gp waiting room to cover his mouth when he coughed because coughs and sneezes spread diseases.

dd2 22months regularly shouts daddy when we walk past the cider in tesco's.

dd1 was shopping with my mum and dad once and dad told her to shout "do you need a straw for you're wine nanny" at mum

we were once in the que in ashop behind a guy with a dodgey hair cut and a mostache and ds said look mummy one of the 'chuckle brothers'

another time he saw a man with long hair and said why doesn't that silly man get his hair cut, he looks like a girl!