whats the most embarressing thing you child has said in public?

[jco]

i was sat in a very croweded but quiet doctors waiting room with ds(5) this afternoon and my stomach rumbled, he said very loudly;

"mummy, did you just trump?"
me " no, it was my tummy"
DS "it wasn't, you trumped, i heard you"!!!

and last week in swimming baths changing room dd(7) said " mummy, why is your flower so hairy?"

(flower is what we call ladies down below bits)

my son, when he was 4, told his teacher that ''daddy goes to work to make money to buy beer and mummy sits and reads the paper all day''

Fair comment!

neice told teachers all about her xmas hols 1 year where everyday involved mummy daddy auntie x and uncle x ( we were staying with them) getting pissed auntie dropped me on the stairs (oops!) grandad rang up pissed and her other auntie was smoking holiday fags!! surprised social services didnt rush round!!

My 2,5 year old spotting her favourite TV characters on the front of a magazine shouted out - "Look mummy, big cock little cock" ( I always think of them as that when I watch it now

When the Charlie & the Chocolate Factory film came out, whenever DS2 (4) saw the poster he'd shout "Willy Wanker, Willy Wanker"

My 3.5 yr old ds thankfully starting to outgrow it, but always delighted to holler "Boobies!" while reaching down top of my shirt. Still does it at home sometimes when helping him with the potty and shirt comes within reach. Has now transitioned to pulling up the bottom of my shirt to exclaim "Tummy!" and kiss it. Also says "I grew in your tummy. I love the Mommy Tummy!" Happy he's an affectionate person, but sheeesh.

This happened to a friend of mine in Atlanta a number of years ago:
While in supermarket queue behind a Very Large woman, whose mobile phone went off and began beeping loudly, a little girl shrieked, "Look out, Mom! She's backing up!!"

In a public loo, with a big queue outside the cubicle, in the days when I'd been toilet training my DS1....He was in the cubicle with me, didn't need to go, but obviously decided to treat me to the kind of encouragement I'd been giving him recently.

So the whole crowd outside got the running commentary of "Well done, Mummy, you've done a wee, you've done a yellow wee, good weeing in the toilet, Mummy..." with lots of clapping his hands too. I can still remember the feeling of dread when I had to open the door to the collection of smirking/smiling faces....

trying on bras, with ds in the changing room with me, in a tiny little bra shop frequented by old ladies.

"Look Mummy! Boobies!"
"Yes, shush, what colour's that light?"
"Two boobies!"
"Ds, shhhh! Finger on lips!"
"Two BIG boobies! Hooray!!!" (claps hands)
"Do you want some chocolate? Chocolate buttons?" (frantic mummy)

On seeing a dwarf:

• "Mummy, what's wrong with that man. Why is he so short?"
• There's nothing wrong with him, he's just a bit short. We're all diferent, aren't we?
• "But he's got a funny face too!"

This thread has cheered me up tremendously! PMSL. Willy Wanker, chocolate buttons and frantic mummy, big boobies and all

We were at the airport recently, a boy and his Dad came out of the loos, sat behind us and the boy said to his Mum "Daddy did a poo and it was a great big one" Ah bless him!

why do all children get obsessed with boobies!! and think its funny to point them out

my 7 yr old telling me to f*ck off was quite embarrassing... wish i was kidding :(

DS age 3.5 walking out of school playground:

"Mummy that lady was TOO FAT"

(walking past overweight-ish woman well within hearing distance).

not in public this one but still v funny. DS had a friend from school over, a girl. After she left he leant very casually against the wall, sighed and said "Hmm, I think xxx wants me..."

I had to leave the room PMSL

My friends 3yo grand-daughter, under instruction from her 11yo sister, asked her nursery teacher if she had a fishy fanny

am really PMSL! Batters - are you me? DS1 calls wine 'muumy juice' and calls Homer Simpson daddy! (there is a striking resemblance!) Was in the supermarekt last week and one of the assistants who always talks to DS asked him 'Where is daddy today?' DS replied 'Daddy Fuckin'' He did mean working but his pronounciation needs some work!

One Friday night in a very busy fish and chip shop when we were all waiting quietly in line my son said "Phew mum have you just farted" luckily everyone fell about laughing and No, I had not!

One I read in a magazine once

Lets say this boys name was Jack

Jacks teachers called his parents into school for an urgent talk, regarding somrthing Jack had written

Unknown to the teacher his parents were trying to get planning permission to build an extention on their house, so they could have more space and try for another child, unfortunately they were refused the planning permission, his parents had been discussing this in front of their son.
On Monday at school the children were asked to write down what they had done at the weekend, and Jack had written.........................

Mummy wants another baby, but daddy cant get an erection

My ds1, when he was about 4, he is ten now.
We went to our local shopping centre. I dont know were he picked this word up from.
He started shouting SWANKER.
I told him quietly to sshh, but he just got louder and louder, in the end I had to ignore him and not make a big deal about it.
The security guard was pissing himself laughing.
In the end he stopped shouting it.PMSL

I was buying a new mobile phone and had a very bored DD (4) with me. While I was sat with the salesman sorting out my contract DD turned to me and said "Mummy why have you got a hairy bottom?" I was mortified! The salesman was very good about it and didn't say anything. Although I did catch him smirking!

Not for me but for dh:

Ds1 was on the bus home from a Saturday afternoon shopping trip. It was 5ish so busy and dh had to ask ds1 to sit on his knee. As an incentive to keep him behaving he played horsey, horsey bouncing him up and down (as you do...). Dh got tired and stopped. In a v loud voice and in one of those moments of communal hush on the rest of the bus ds1 said, "Don't stop daddy - that makes my willy wobble!" Dh was absolutely mortified.

When I was about 3 or 4 my mum took me on a train trip in India. At some point I befriended two young Indian men sitting behind us and the following conversation happened:

Men 'do you have a car?'
Me 'no but my daddy has one'
Men 'what colour is it? Is it white like you?'
Me 'No it's brown like you'

My mum was highly embarassed. But in my opinion they invited it.

On a crowded flight to Mexico my DS shouted "Dad, you stinker" (DH had done silent but violent trump).

DD was getting changed in the mens changing rooms after swimming with DH. She said "Oh Daddy, there it is, I love your willy!!" Dh was embarrassed and that was before she started pointing out all the other mens willies too.

About a week later, she and I were shopping and I went into the changin room with her, she kept shouting "Oh I love your boobies, big, big boobies" at the top of her voice. I (stupidly) decided to buy the bra I was trying on. When we left the shop, there were 3 workmen diggin up the pavement outside the shop and they said "hello" to her, to which she replied "my mummy's just bought a new bra in there, its black and has flowers on it, it looks wonderful on her big big boobies - do you want to see it?". Never gone so red in my whole life, nor have I run so fast down the high street before!

Dh's nephew in swimming pool changing rooms with his Dad, said loudly, "Daddy, that man has a bigger willy than you!"

Ds a couple of weeks ago in the middle of a bookshop 'Mummy, got stinky'.......you lad of about 20 pissing himself laughing....

Friends daught used to skip round the supermarket singing 'dip her in choclate sauce and lick her all over' (frank Zappa I think...?)