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Original poster

whats the most embarressing thing you child has said in public?

144 replies

jco · 03/03/2006 19:01

i was sat in a very croweded but quiet doctors waiting room with ds(5) this afternoon and my stomach rumbled, he said very loudly;

"mummy, did you just trump?"
me " no, it was my tummy"
DS "it wasn't, you trumped, i heard you"!!!

and last week in swimming baths changing room dd(7) said " mummy, why is your flower so hairy?"

(flower is what we call ladies down below bits)

OP posts:

mummypumpkin · 08/03/2006 11:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

saltire · 08/03/2006 12:18

I have got tears streaming down my cheeks reading these.
Heres a couple of mine

When Ds1 was about 2, we were in Woolies, and he started shuting "Homo, homo" and pointing at a man. Cue embarassed faces all round, until the man moved out of the way and Ds1 is still pointing and shouting Homo- at a Homer Simpson calendar.
Was in a changing room with Ds2, trying on jeans, and he pipes up
"mummy, you should take those knickers back to the shop, they have no back in them"

Staying with Ds2 who is 6 now , when we were in a changing room at the swimming pool, he piped up
" see that string hanging from your bum, do you pull it to shut your curtains?"
Still with Ds2, for some reason he thinks that people kissing are having sx. So, one day there was a knock at the door, he answered it, the window cleaner was there.
"My mum and dad can't answer the door as they are in the kitchen having sx"

Or the time i was cleaning out my underwear drawer, and he ran downstairs and announced to Dh, MIL and FIl
"mummy's taken her boobs off and thrown them in the bin"

My friend used to call her neighbours "The Numptys", one night, when i was round said neighbour came to the door. friends 4 year old Dd answered the door, and called
"Mum, it's Mrs Numpty from next door"

Original poster

jco · 08/03/2006 21:31

Hey ladies, these are soooooo funny we have made 'discussion' of the day on the homepage!!

OP posts:

Tanzie · 08/03/2006 22:11

DD1 the other night as I was going out. "Mummy, your new top makes your boobies look enormous."

Long pause and further scrutiny...

"But if they look at your boobies, I suppose they won't look at your fat tummy underneath, will they?"

My Mum was a teacher and said that one of the other teachers was trying to get a small girl to say "pardon" if she hadn't heard something someone had said. Small girl apparently looked mystified and said "But why? I ain't farted."

Excellent.

threelittlebabies · 08/03/2006 22:19

Tanzie my ds did that! His grandad was talking to him, and didnt hear what ds said, so said "Pardon ds?" and my mystified 3yo ds replied with a puzzled look "I didn't do it!" Wondered how many times someone had said pardon to him and he thought they had farted!

Piffle · 08/03/2006 22:20

Weeping at these.
dd who 3 (but looks 18mths) last weekend, toddling down Tescos with me
Spotting the wine aisle
Mummy there's the WINE - loudest voice
What wine red or white mummy
Oen of each darling its the weekend.
Which red?
Hang on dear let me see
Mummy merlot or cab sav?
Cab sav
Which white one mummy the nice Wolf Blass again?

Not so bad but there was a Tesco manager huddle in that aisle all staring at me.

Th perils of involving your child into every product and disecting it when shopping.

cutekids · 08/03/2006 22:29

my friend and i were coming home on the bus with our kids the other week.there were alot of high school kids on swearing and shouting etc.and our kids were mesmerised.one of the girls must have had a pang of guilt though, as she started telling her mates to shut up as "there are littlies watching us" to which my friend's six year old daughter piped up, "it's ok, we've heard it all before!"!!!!

sparklymieow · 08/03/2006 22:34

In primark the other week, went upstairs to get the kids some clothes and had to pass the bra and knicker section, DS, 8, went up to the padded bras and started to squeeze them shouting 'boobies' as we walked away he shouted 'I just touch boobies Daddy!!!!'

cutekids · 08/03/2006 22:34

when my son had just started talking, i was out in town with him and his sisters one day when we passed a lady walking a poodle. he turned to me and very seriously asked, "why's that lady walking a sheep?"!!!

Original poster

jco · 08/03/2006 22:35

I have so many of these i could be here all day,...

when I'm being silly with ds (5)i often call him a 'daft duck' unfortunately he has developed a strange habit of rhymming words he hears and one day he called me a 'daft fuck'!!!!! thankfully we were at home at the time.

My dd (7) ds (5) and myself were in asda (no I'm not a chav!!) we wen't past a really grubby man who to be honest really ponged and my dd commented on this to ds. A few minutes later we saw the same man in a different isle and ds shouted very loudly to him 'hello stinky man' I told him not to say that and dd pipped up 'but he's right he does stink' double blush

OP posts:

oceanwave · 08/03/2006 22:38

The TV aerial man had come to finish off a job he had started earlier in the week. It was deadly silent in the house when my 3 yr old shouted at the top of his voice "Mummy I REALLY don't like that man" !

cutekids · 08/03/2006 22:40

neighbour's little boy had come in for a "dink".I asked him what he wanted and he replied, "good Coke please". i said, "what do you mean, good coke?" to which he replied,"not naughty coke like mummy and daddys'!"!!!

cutekids · 08/03/2006 22:41

I'm presuming that "naughty coke" is wine and beer by the way!!!!

Original poster

jco · 08/03/2006 22:42

just though of something really funny that happened at the toddler group i co-run, just an example of how adults can be just as bad as kids.

Myself and my collegue who run the toddler group had arranged a xmas party for all the kids with a visit from santa himself. My collegue had the idea to get the kids all excited before letting santa into the room. the plan was that she would go and tell all the kids that he had arrived, she burst into the room where the kids and mums were and shouted;

'guess what kids, santas just come outside'!!!!!

Obviously all the kids were too young to know what was so fuuny but were rather bewildered at all the mummys rolling around crying with laughter and wondering mrs xxx had run out of the room with embarressment!!!

OP posts:

Flos · 08/03/2006 22:59

I am prompted to post my first message, this is so hilarious. I've had a crap day at work and there's another one coming tomorrow, but I've been shaking with laughter reading this.

My dd then aged 2,10 in swimming pool changing rooms (Saturday morning, v crowded) 'Mummy, why have you got spotty legs?'

Me, pretending to be lovely, explaining mother, but also keen to squash this idea: 'They aren't spots, darling, they're moles.'

DD in supercillious tones, 'Silly Mummy, moles are animals!'

CountessDracula · 08/03/2006 23:01

dd when aged 2 to the whole M&S paying queue

"mummy and daddy stick toothbrushes up their bottoms"

aarrgghhnnnn

Tanzie · 08/03/2006 23:02

Ooh, do you, CD? Do you?!

CountessDracula · 08/03/2006 23:10

NO NO NO!!

At the time my brother was staying a lot and he left his toothbrush in dd's bathroom

She always tried to brush her teeth with it and the only thing that stopped her was the suggestion that her uncle may have been using it to clean his bottom

Tanzie · 08/03/2006 23:13

Yuk! Remember one of my cousins actually doing that with his brother's toothbrush when we were on holiday together!

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