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Original poster

whats the most embarressing thing you child has said in public?

144 replies

jco · 03/03/2006 19:01

i was sat in a very croweded but quiet doctors waiting room with ds(5) this afternoon and my stomach rumbled, he said very loudly;

"mummy, did you just trump?"
me " no, it was my tummy"
DS "it wasn't, you trumped, i heard you"!!!

and last week in swimming baths changing room dd(7) said " mummy, why is your flower so hairy?"

(flower is what we call ladies down below bits)

OP posts:
babyonboard · 03/03/2006 23:29

ooh..nd my little cousin asked in a 'santas grotto' last december..
''mummy has santa got a willy?''
would love to know how his innocent little mind came up with that query.

Hattie05 · 03/03/2006 23:33

lol babyonboard, my dd did that too this year! In fact she went through a phase of asking if anything and anyone had a willy - squirrels, birds, trolley's etc etc

DD also insists that any man with long hair is a lady.

Used to shout "i'm a lady" Little Britain style, whenever she saw old women Blush

lanismum · 03/03/2006 23:36

iv loved reading these, im now dreading my dd starting to talk Grin, though i have 1 teeny 1 to share, i was in a shop with my dd, (nearly 1, and white,) the other day, when she put her arms out to a black man and started shouting dad dad da at the top of her voice, there were quite a few confused expressions in the shop, its not nearly as funny as some of these but im sure she will be just as bad Grin

AntheaTurnerPuff · 03/03/2006 23:39

My favourite is actually something my nephew (now 12, then age 3) announced to a packed crowd of nursery staff, children and parents.

He marched in and announced loudly, "Daddy is in bed with all the mans".

(His Dad had been admitted to hospital for a few days).

LaylaandSethsmum · 03/03/2006 23:50

Very loudly yesterday at soft play DD (3) said " That little girl ( pointing at her)over there has had all her fingers cut off!!"

In reference to a child who had obviously been born without her hand tried to explain this to dd but she was having none of it.

NotActuallyAMum · 03/03/2006 23:53

At my brothers wedding I saw my sisters ds1 (then about 6) crying. I asked what was wrong and he said tearfully "Josh just kicked me in the bollocks" I said PARDON?? He said again, very loudly, "JOSH JUST KICKED ME IN THE BOLLOCKS!" As all the old dears around him looked on in disgust, I ushered him away from them. He genuinely didn't realise it was a swearword. He's nearly 16 now, we still tease him about it

Sallystrawberry · 04/03/2006 00:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

VeniVidiVickiQV · 04/03/2006 00:18

DD regularly asks about other people having wee wees and poo poos in public toilets.

When DS used to cry when we were out DD would say "Mummy - he wants a bit of the booby".

She often bangs my belly and says loudly "look at your fat belly".

Oh, and in M & S the other day i was queuing up when she suddenly said very loudly whilst shoving her finger in my face "Look mummy, a booger!" YUK!

Sallystrawberry · 04/03/2006 00:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

threelittlebabies · 04/03/2006 00:51

3yo ds in v small, posh toilet:Why you not got a willy mummy?
Me:pmsl
ds: why you 'miling mummy?

Other choice comments in public toilets-
are you/they (next cubicle) doing a wee or a poo?
Wee/poo makes you poo/wee sometimes doesnt it?
Blush don't ask, but I know what he was trying to say!! Blush

To his grandad (FIL)- why you got a fat belly??!
Blush but mainly pmsl, as it's true and don't really like him ShockBlush

In Waterstones, aged 1, ds in pram next to me, shouts "Shauny Wright Wright Wright". I hardly dare turn round in case I had to explain to someone that he thought they were a footballer simply because they were the same colour as them... person looked nothing like said footballer!

Excuse overuse of emoticons, felt it was called for to show how ds shames me...

slug · 04/03/2006 11:19

Having lunch in a restaurant with my inlaws on her second birthday. She choses that ONE minute when the whole place fall silent then announces in a booming voice. 'Daddy has purple knick knicks (knickers) Daddy has bits! Daddy bits in his purple knick knicks!' Daddy has since refused to ever let her choose his underwear again.

Again, in public shouting at her grandmother 'Mummy has wobbly tits. Your wobbly tits aren't as big as mummy's wobbly tits Nanny. Mummy keeps hers in a bra to stop them wobbling. Do you have a bra to stop your wobbly tits from wobbling Nanny?'

She's really into numbers at the moment. Her favourite trick lately is to read every number she sees on houses, buses etc. Fine except for the inevitable 'Look Mummy, there's a forty. That's how old you are Mummy!'

noddyholder · 04/03/2006 11:24

We were in a queue at a gallery waiting for the exhibition to open ds was 3 and was getting very bored Suddenly the steward opened the doors and he shouted at the top of his voice to all the people COME ON YE BASTARDS! I was mortified and asked him where he had heard it and he said pirates????We never got to the bottom of it and still laugh to this day

noddyholder · 04/03/2006 11:25

Oh and he also told my mum that daddy has a beard on his willy!

AggiePanther · 04/03/2006 11:28

DD was about 2 or 3 and we were in the hospital canteen and there was an old lady with a family on the next table .. DD said at the top of her voice 'mummy that granny's going to die soon isn't she?'Blush

hockeymum · 04/03/2006 12:28

When I was 2, we went to Newcastle to see friends. (I'd never left my small Hampshire village before this btw) and we stopped the car to ask this friendly coloured geordie for directions. I'd never seen a non white man before and never heard any different accents (bearing in mind this was the 70s, so tv was rather different!). He gave directions in a really melodic chirpy geordie accent (which I love by the way) and I leaned out of the car and said "What did you say? I don't understand? Mummy is that Daddy stupid?" my parents drove away quickly! Then on the long drive home I sat in the boot (again 70s so no car seat!) with my bumper pack of felt pens and coloured myself in all sorts of lovely colours everywhere I could reach and said "mummy look I come from another country". Apparently she had explained this chaps colour by saying we all come from different countries and are all different colours! I'm ashamed at myself now, but in my defence I didn't know otherwise being a sheltered 2 year old. My dd is much more culturally aware. At the same age, we went to Africa to see family and she said "Oh mummy, it's wonderful here, all the lovely brown people have interesting names, I love them!" (We'd just met 2 of our cousins friends called "Goodness" and "Super") DD thought Super was a superhero and called him Mr Incredible for the rest of the trip.

sanchpanch · 04/03/2006 14:19

when i was bigger after dd2 was born my dd1 shaouted out here's your size mummy size 20...... i could have hidden but i tried to make fun of it, but she was right that was my size then,

twinsetandpearls · 04/03/2006 14:21

Shouted across shopping centre as we left the toilet

"Mummy has pink wee and a stick up her bum."

twinsetandpearls · 04/03/2006 14:22

tissy I love the storymaker comment.

zippitippitoes · 04/03/2006 14:28

ds aged about 9 as we stroll along the harbour looking at mega expensive yachts and their occupants

"Why is that yacht called Penis from Heaven" in very loud voice

(actual name of yacht Pennies from Heaven but ds not a very good reader/dyslexic)

4blue1pink · 04/03/2006 14:35

DS3 last week when feeding DS4 in Starbucks - as i wince with the initial chomping- 'whats wrong Mummy is he bitin' your willy off?'

( Some confusion over the bleeding down below after delivery and feeding and obviously - my gender!!!)

paolosgirl · 04/03/2006 14:38

DD asking me what the string was hanging from my bottom in the swimming pool changing rooms - and then not giving up, despite my best diversionary tactics.

BadHair · 04/03/2006 15:03

Ds1, loudly, in swimming pool changing room:
"You've got a big, hairy bottom".

Ds2, in Tesco, and later in another shop:
"Look Mummy, my willy's gone big". Ds1 did that line once on me as well.

Ds1 told his headteacher that Daddy called him (teacher) nasty names at home. It was sort of true, in that dh has made the odd pun on the ht's name. So it looks like I'll be on my own at parent's evening.

kama · 04/03/2006 15:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

SoniaL · 04/03/2006 17:01

A few weeks ago I got my period for the first time after having my dd and, as to be expected, it wasn't very pleasant. I was talking to my husband and was moaning about it and made a remark along the lines of hating having my period, blah, blah, blah. Later the same day I was in my local sainsburys at the checkout when my ds suddenly gave a big sigh and shouted "God I hate it when I've got my period". Everybody turned and looked and I just wanted a big hole to open up so that I could fall in

bumpsy · 04/03/2006 19:50

I was talking to a neighbour the other day who I didn't really know and my daughter ran out into my arms and I picked her up while I was chatting as you do.As we were talking she said look mummy look the lady has a moustache.I was mortified and didn't know what to say so I just said ssh and shot her a be quiet face and she said no mummy she really has and went on to actually point at the faint dark hair on the this poor womans upper lip.I had to apologise profusely but I daren't even put my bins out at the moment just as I am sooooo embaressed!She did laugh about it though Blush

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