whats the most embarressing thing you child has said in public?

[jco]

i was sat in a very croweded but quiet doctors waiting room with ds(5) this afternoon and my stomach rumbled, he said very loudly;

"mummy, did you just trump?"
me " no, it was my tummy"
DS "it wasn't, you trumped, i heard you"!!!

and last week in swimming baths changing room dd(7) said " mummy, why is your flower so hairy?"

(flower is what we call ladies down below bits)

DS (3.5) said very loudly in a shop the other day, "when I'm born again I'm going to walk on water". Hail the new messiah!

this actually came about as I was trying to explain what happens when you die and said some people believe you are born again, which he obviously liked the sound of. As for the walking on water.... watch this space!

Dd (3) 'Mummy why there a string hanging from your bottom? Have you got a present up there?'
and
'These are mummy's bosoms, she's keeping them spare for the next baby'...wondered what they were for....

oh my god pmsl laughing expecting all this with my first ive got tears rolling down my cheeks never have i laughed so much thankyou to all of you i havent felt this happy in ages

DD then aged 2 when a bus pulled out in front of my Mum's car "mind that fucking bus Granny"

The next day, to MIL, when she put her lunch in front of her "I don't like fucking rice"

She doesn't swear anymore though - honest!

Last year aged 5, she announced loudly that "Mummy's knickers never cover her bottom."

PMSL at these! My mum tells me that when I was 3 my dad took my swimmng and whilst we were getting changed I shouted out "daddy you've got a spotty willy!" my dad never took me swimming again!

I was also on the receiving end, a couple of years ago I was sent on a bus next to a little girl and I trumped the little girl bent over to try and sniff my bum (!!!) before saying "your bums just done a nasty smell" I could have died and got straight off the bus, i've never caught that bus again!!

When I was about 3 I saw a black man for the first time while grocery shopping with my Mom and said very loudly "Look Mama, that man is very dirty!" The man laughed and said "The good Lord made me this way, sugar. It don't wash off!"

The other day I was on the phone with my MIL when DS, 3, shouted "Would you get off that bloody phone!" So embarrassed.

We're getting a new kitchen and the work starts this week while DH is away on business. On Sunday I was complaining to DH "I can't believe you're going away this week. It's going to be a nightmare here. I'm so dreading it, etc, etc" and DS just looked at me and said "OK, OK, just calm down." I've obviously said that to him one too many times.

Oh WestCountryLass PMSL at "violent trump" - that's a phrase I'll use from now on!!

At a friends house at the weekend her 2.5 year old daughter drew an amazingly good willy - balls, hair etc. After a few muffled snorts we asked her what she actually meant to draw.

"A cock" she said to spluttered wine and crimson parents.

After we stopped choking on the wine we established it was something along the lines of clock, but her mum was mortified.

Love this thread.
My dd is too young to talk yet, but one from when I was a toddler:
me on bus with my mum, a friend of my parents' gets on, my mother greets him cheerily, 'Hello Ken.' Me, loudly: 'Mummy, is that Boring Ken?'

this thread is hilarious!!!

I was in a supermarket queue behind a mum and her about 4 year old dd...the child was hassling her (quite posh) mum to buy her sweeties, and the mum kept saying 'no, we'll get something when we get home...etc etc''...eventually, after much sulking and stamping of feet, the ds announced very loudly, 'it's not fair! You never buy me f@cking anything'!!!

In a restaurant with my ds who's 2, the waiter brought over the menus but had forgotten the kiddie's menu - I asked him if we could have it. As he walked off to fetch it, my darling ds yelled, 'silly man! mummy, SILLY MAN!!''

LOL arfissomo, we had to be very careful with the sluglet's drawings as she went through a phase of drawing anotomically correct (and to dh's mind, very flattering) drawings of her daddy.

WWB, love Moron, and all of these on here. Have just wept with laughter at this thread.
Ds and dd seem to know instinctively that church is a good place acoustically for those embarassing remarks.
Ds once stood up and shouted, "more CHRIST" after the choir finished a specially heartfelt and spiritual Agnus Dei at our old church, to much tutting and sniggering.
Our new one is full of much less shockable types, just as well after dd went capering down the aisle trilling, "See my bottom! See my wee-wee!" - she is being potty-trained at the mo . She showed them, too.

My ds3 used to refuse to go anywhere without a plastic horse - a knight's horse one of his brothers used to play with. Unfortunately, he called it 'cock' - as in Ride a cock horse (I hope!)
Cue months of acute embarrassment in public places as ds3 shouts out, 'Mummy, want cock!'

I think my 3yr old DS is now obsessed with playing mummys and daddys. Came home from school today and anounced that Kerry calls him daddy and that he and Kerry haven't had their baby yet although they've got the pushchair.

This thread is so funny!

Ds1 very loudly in a public library age 2 - 'My mummy's got a willy!'

(she hasn't though)

these are hilarious!!!!

Not about my dd, but one of her best friends was talking to me.
She told me her mum took her to the park and her dad was going to meet them there. He was late and said 'sorry', but her mum said 'yeah, you always say that, but you don't mean it' and then they started to argue ...

A girl in my dd's class just blurted out to me recently 'My aunt died last night'
I said 'oh, so sorry to hear that!'
She said 'Oh, it's ok. she was my mum's sister, but they hate each other'

thankfully this wasn't int public, but when I spilled a glass of water on my desk ds2, 2.5yrs, said "say Fucking mama, say Fucking"

THat's shocked me even to post that, I mean that's what he expected me to say

Walking my two DDs to school this morning I bumped into a neighbour I don't know very well, but who has been having chemo for breast cancer. She has worn a bandana for months but her hair is now growing back and she has a very short funky style, it really suits her. My DD announced really loudly - "Look mummy, their daddy is taking them to school today". .

My DS is obviously in training to appear on this thread in the future - instead of buggy he says (or shouts!) "bugger", instead og bogey (his sisters word, not ours) he shouts "bugger"

Not public as such but...

Last night I'd whizzed up to the loo as have had upset stomach.. heard the phone ring and shouted down to dd to leave it, she shouts back "OK Mummy" and I breathe a sigh of relief.. next thing I here from downstairs is

dd: "Hello"
..
dd: "Yes"

dd: "She's upstairs having a poo"

dd: "yes, she's having a poo"