whats the most embarressing thing you child has said in public?

[jco]

i was sat in a very croweded but quiet doctors waiting room with ds(5) this afternoon and my stomach rumbled, he said very loudly;

"mummy, did you just trump?"
me " no, it was my tummy"
DS "it wasn't, you trumped, i heard you"!!!

and last week in swimming baths changing room dd(7) said " mummy, why is your flower so hairy?"

(flower is what we call ladies down below bits)

In Mass, when I was little, I pointed to a man with long hair and a long beard and called, "Look, Mammy, there's Jesus!" Well, we were in a church!

DD asked me (in a public toilet with a BIG queue outside) "why are you wearing Daddy's pants?". (I wasn't by the way )

Also, in or local fruit and veg shop (when there was only the male owner and one eccentric, old lady in there -you know the sort! ) she kept pointing out "Mummy look at that funny old lady". the more I tried to go "ssshhh" the more she protested "No, look at her, shes really funny....but she is...shes got funny hair..." etc

When we go to town DD always insists on playing "I spy". We usually look out the window and think of different things. There were two women in the seats opposite and they kept looking over and smiling and saying "awwww".

DD's turn came "something beginning with 'r' Mummy" - 5 minutes later I hadn't guessed it, one of two women chipped in "railings", "nope" said a smug DD "okay then" I said "I give in", she then pointed in the direction of the two women and said "RINKLES".

Luckily they found it totally hilarious.

We are just starting to get ds (20 months) to associate wee-wee and poo with the toilet in preperation for potty training in the summer.

Was in M&S changing rooms last week buying new trousers. Took ds into changing rooms with me, proceeded to take old trousers off to try on new ones. In his loudest voice "wee-wee wee-wee" and would not stop so amonst sniggers from the next cubicle i had to explain that no mummy was not going wee wee

I realise that this is not as embarassing as some here but it was my first public 'moment'. Thought if hes like that now can only imagine what hes going to be like in 6 months time :o

Said by ds aged 4 in a small posh shop

"I want a poooooooooooooooo mummy!"

We were at a wedding a couple of weeks ago and just going through the 'line-up'. My DS aged 3 loudly told the grooms father "I'm going to chop my willy off". This was followed by "I need a poo" in the middle of the speeches and also "Toast, toast, where's the toast?" everytime we were toasting the couple, bridesmaids etc. We had another wedding just 13 days after and were delighted that the kids weren't invited!

ds1 in the supermarket at the check out last week in a very loud voice: "Mummy, look at all the wine in their trolley. They're going to get VERY drunk!"

nzshar -my DS is 20 months too and just starting to shout out things inappropriately as well.

If we go past anything in a bottle in a shop he shouts "Beer, beer" and he randomly points at men in shops and in the street and shouts "Daddy"

My parents recently took my dd and her cousin to the park and dd announced that she needed a wee when they were nearly there. There were no toilets so my father went on with her cousin and mum took Alice behind a bush, where she decided that she had to have a poo. When they reached the gate of the park she yelled (and she has a very loud voice) across the park to her cousin on the opposite side 'I just did a poo in the bushes' for all the other parents and children to hear (on a busy Saturday afternoon) Fortunately most found it highly amusing.

These are brilliant especially as dts1 (4) is going through a phase of saying embarassing things long after I thought he had grown out of it!

Yesterday he said loudly that a woman had a "fat tummy." Earning him a lecture in saying hurtful things.

He is also in the habit of saying people are "funny" and we don't know if he means funny haha or funny peculiar. He also opens the door of the toilet cubicle when they have finished their business but not necessarily when I have finished mine leading to much squawking!

Another favourite is to call some poor person a "stinky poo-poo head" or "pumpy" and this woman who had a lovely baby girl with her in a cafe was told her boobie-doos weren't as big as his mummy's.

God, can someone help me!

dd asked her friend about her "nanny" when infact it was little girl's mum. Although her mum is nearly same age as mine so I can see why dd got confused. Hearing the little girl say "no silly that's my mummy not nanny" made me make a very swift exit I have to say!

after the day ive had this has had me in fits!! needed the laugh!

as far as dd where do i begin

he ate all the pies to the largish man in asda!
has a habit of peering under public toilet doors then shouting they doing a big poo!
boobies! she pulled my top down while we were in the queue in asda im rather big and was braless!! she doesnt sit in trolly seat anymore!
has yanked my skirt up as well and shouted cat whilst displaying tatoo on my arse!
bought her a new dolls tea set it came with wine glasses and straight away she gave every one a pretend glass of wine
shouts mummy juice at the booze aisle in supermarket

after months of frustration at my reasonably bright 3 year old not flushing the loo aftre himself i told him awicked lie which came back to haunt me in a very public place on sunday. He came out of the toilet and said "i fushed the loo mummy so i don't have to eat my poo do i?" That will teach me

whilst in florida on hols we were served by transvestite in beauty dept ds asked dh was that a man or women ? dh replied its a man but he is confused and does not know what he wants to be. on way out ds shouts very loudly and points to the person and says daddy theres that funny man who thinks he s a woman lol you can't take them anywhere

When dd was sitting next to her nanny (my MIL) dd suddenly moved away and looked disgusted and announced "nanny's farted and she stinks!" I had to leave the room I was pmsl so much.

Not my child..but me...
when I was 4 I once said (or rathr ylled and pointed) ..'look at that funny monkey mummy' on bus..about a baby...
my mum was understandbly horrified
my only excuse is I was brought up in a small yorkshire village that wasn't particularly multicultural.
and of course..i was 4..
argh

oh..and my brother..aged 17 (!???????).. we went into a thai shop in notting hill nd he said out loud..'this is the worst smell i've ever smelt in my life'
he then gulped down the food dp made with ingredients from there..and asked for more...
but..my..we were mortified

LOL at yossa's ds!

DD (3), at full volume, today, in a coffee shop, as the waiters walked around:

"Why are the servants coming over here?"

I don't know where she even got the word from - fairy stories, perhaps?

"Mummy has that man got a willy?"

Pointing to the man who is stood immediately next to us in supermarket queue .

Well my rule is to always be open and honest but... that is the extreme!

Come on Oldiemum, admit it, you're A Bit Posh aren't you?

DS 1 said "oh look hallowen" at some goths.
Ds1 That girl over in the play ground is black.
DS2 on someone else pressing the green man button after he had. "You can't do that, you get no treats.

Oh yes, also had "Mummy your bottom is hairy!!" in shocked/surprised voice in public loos.