Would I be a terrible woman if i advise my DD's to act in a way so they are less likely to be assaulted.

[Rubytuesdayy]

With respect to lit streets, chaste clothes, state of drunkenness etc etc? Or would I be victim blaming prior to teh event. I KNOW that rape is the fault of the rapists, but I just want my DD's to be safe.

Cheddar there is unfortunately a very high recidivism rate for all sexual offences. A lot of them re-offend. However, I do believe that some interventions can help. We worked with Probation, Psychologists, addictions workers and if all else failed and we were very worried we could see if they could be recalled to prison. When people talk about prisoners only serving half their sentence, I want to say to them... there is no way to recall someone who is not on licence to prison unless they re-offend. if they have only served half their time, at least if they break the terms of their parole, you can get them sent back.

If you want to PM me, absolutely do. I don't want to talk too much about my old job on here.

chedder i dont mean to be overly personally but the issues you touched on when using the loo, have you seen a docter about them and asked for a referal to see a gyne doc.just incase you didnt know you can ask your gp and you can find out if any long term damage can be sorted you dont even have to say how it happened if you dont want to.

and you can take someone with you if your hospital dosnt have a chaperone policy.

im sorry it happened to you and im very sorry to ask such a personal question im just sat here fretting and trying to think of any info i can give you that may help you

Just catching up with the thread, these posts are just heartbreaking

do you feel able to complain to either the police complaints or social services or both?

theres a great free service called rights of women who can offer telephone support 02072516577 they specialise in sexual violence/dv/family court ect and could help you format your complaint

I am beginning to think some people are deliberately missing the point. Off course women have been raped while wearing skimpy clothes bumbly but the point is they weren't raped because of their clothes.

Handbag - I think your post is very accurate. We women must take ourselves out of the picture completely - so we don't tempt men to rape us.

Why did you direct that at me scrounge? I haven't said they were

Because I was replying to your post bumbly. I posted saying clothing advice offered zero protection against rape to which you replied by asking me why I thought this did I think women were never raped in those circumstances. So I was replying to that post.

Bumbley has indeed posted to that effect on this and other threads - but I think she may be modifying her opinions on that score.

Scrounge, please tell me which post it was (time?)because afaiac I have not said that a woman was raped because of what she was wearing!

Running, where?

Bumbley, I don't want to re-open wounds, but we had a discussion earlier on the thread about high heels. You have since said you have changed your opinion on what women wear and whether they are raped.

No running, I most certainly have not! I have never once said that a woman was raped because of what she was wearing. I have just reread every single one of my posts to see if there was something that could have been misinterpreted and I didn't even find that. Our discussion about high heels was about whether or not you could run faster in high heels or trainers! It was about whether what you were wearing could impact on your ability to react in a situation - ANY situation and I made it perfectly clear several times during that discussion that I was in no way suggesting that the stillettos had anything to do with the woman being a target.

I did notice on my reread that you have accused me a few times of suggesting that what someone is wearing would result in their rape and I have denied it every time. Please go back and reread and quote wherever it is that you think I have said that a woman is raped because of what she is wearing. If you can not find that quote (and you won't) then please stop accusing me of it.

Bumbley, but the question is why would you you even bring up the fact that you can run faster is trainers than heels on a thread about rape? Unless you think women should be generally equipping themselves to 'run away from rape' And you did suggest that - the sarky post about whether olympic runners should wear heels - remember?

Anyway , Bumbley, let it be said that anyone that modifies their views away from the rape myths and towards a more rational way of thinking, as you appeared to in your recent posts, is alright in my book.

Anyway , Bumbley, let it be said that anyone that modifies their views away from the rape myths and towards a more rational way of thinking, as you appeared to in your recent posts, is alright in my book.

I didn't running - someone else did and I was replying to it. You were the one who was saying people could run just as well in heels and that's why I made the sarcastic comment about the Olympic runners.

Go back and find a quote or stop accusing me. If you can't then be big enough to admit that you were wrong and we'll move on. I don't mind people disagreeing with things that I've written but I will not be accused of saying something that I have not. I have not moved away from anything because I did not say that in the first place.

bumbly at 15:25:50 yesterday I said in reply to another poster.

"It is nothing to do with avoiding victim blaming to point out that how 'chaste' your clothes have absolutely no impact on your risk of being raped and therefore such advice is completely pointless. It is not risk management to take steps that have no impact on the potential risk you are trying to avoid. As I explained in a previous post it could actually have an adverse effect to instil the view that 'chaste' clothes are a protection." I then said to you that if advice offers zero protection then its's not worth given which was in reply to your comment about advice not giving complete protection still being worth giving.

Then at 17:46 you said "Scroungin,satong that it offers zero protection suggests that you think no rapes ever happen in the situations described." in reply to my above post.

I suspect you may have replied without reading my whole post and therefore had no idea what advice I regarded as offering zero protection.

Scrounge. In that post you directed something specifically to me:

"Bumbly you say it you realise it doesn't give complete protection but the point many of us are trying to make is that it offers zero protection"

At the time you made your comment I was talking about the general safety advice and the protection it offered so I replied with that in mind as being the 'it' that you referred to, not the rest of your post which I didn't really register as being directed at me because I hadn't mentioned anything about chaste clothing and you had quoted someone else's post at the start - it seemed to be in response to them. I have not made any comments suggesting that chaste clothes protect you from rape or that a woman is raped because of what she is wearing (what you accused me of saying) why were you directing a comment about that at me if you had quoted from someone else?

I'm still waiting to find out which comment running thinks I made about it previously. She's accused me of it a few times over the past few days. Did you perhaps read her accusations and assume that I had said something?