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Original poster

Sarah's law - can't believe I am attempting to do this

58 replies

marykat2004 · 29/05/2012 10:54

So, I've got this neighbour who I don't like the look of. No one seems to like him. I have tried to be patient and open-minded but it was the last straw when I came home and found that he had been in the flat with DH and DD when I was out. This is the first time this has happened when DD was home with DH , and I was out. Otherwise the neighbour only came in when DD and I were both away, which is fairly regularly as we like to visit people at the weekends, (we live in a small flat, I am an outgoing type etc).

Anyway without making this post too long, I told DH I don't want him to see this neighbour any more. DH has a heart condition and had not had a drink in nearly 3 years. The neighbour got him drinking again (that is another subject, I know I can't blame the neighbour.). Many of DH"s old friends have said they don't like this guy either.

The problem is that I feel trapped now. I can't ever leave DD with her father because the neighbour might come in. It is not worth the risk. I can't get any info from the housing office, not even the guy's surname. I know he was in prison but he he told my friend he was a 'bank robber.' He drinks super strong lager and is basically a typical homeless person who's been a junkie, been in prison, etc. I work in a hostel and I know this type. Always knocking on the door for rizlas, tea bags etc.

I wouldn't say I had seen him behaving oddly towards children but I don't want an ex-prisoner, ex-junkie etc in my flat.

So I have called the local police to try to find out if this guy is a sex offender. At first they said they couldn't tell me anything but I mentioned 'Sarah's Law' and this officer said she would talk to someone and get back to me.

Has anyone had any success with Sarah's Law and odd neighbours? Can you get them moved out if they are sex offenders?

According to this link you can ask:

www.sarahslaw.co.uk/how-it-works/

OP posts:
Olympia2012 · 29/05/2012 10:59

You don't like the look of him?

You don't like the 'homeless' type but he has a housing officer?

You tell your DH who to be friends with/ have in his home?

You have posted about this before

QueenOfF1amingEverything · 29/05/2012 11:01

You sound a bit mad tbh.

Do you not trust your partner to keep your DD safe?

Original poster
marykat2004 · 29/05/2012 11:03

Really? I am mad? You would be fine about an ex offender drinking in your house with your husband who could have a heart attack at any minute?

yes I have posted about this but not about Sarah's Law.

OP posts:
Olympia2012 · 29/05/2012 11:03

Your DH health is his own responsibility

Olympia2012 · 29/05/2012 11:04

He's an ex prisoner and ex junkie...... The 'ex' bit shows he is trying

SugarBatty · 29/05/2012 11:05

Why would this guy ever be alone with your dd if your dh is there anyway. I think the bigger issue is you not trusting your dh not to protect your dd.

titchy · 29/05/2012 11:06

I think the bigger issue is your absolute lack of trust of your husband tbh. Oh, that and your control-freak tendencies - MY child, MY flat. Not our child, our flat.

fuckarama · 29/05/2012 11:27

I think you might need a bit more to go on than "I don't like the look of him "

Original poster
marykat2004 · 29/05/2012 11:30

I do all the home repair, all the housework, all the laundry, and sort out all the bills. My attempt to encourage my child to spend more time with her father resulted in him inviting this creep in to the flat and getting drunk. He has almost no interest in this child at all. So it is hard to think of her as 'our' child.

Gosh I was trying to find way to feel better this morning but this was obviously not a good idea to post on here.

OP posts:
Kewcumber · 29/05/2012 11:31

your issue is that you don't trust your DH to keep your DD safe and not to drink. You can't help feeling suspicious about people based on how they look and behave and to be cautious with them around your daughter if you choose but you're not entitled to go on a witch-hunt.

What do you think would happen to your DD with your DH around. Are you concerned that if he drinks she will not be safe?

Again, your problem is your DH.

Kewcumber · 29/05/2012 11:32

cross posted there.

Why are you with him? Confused
You do all the work and he isn't interested in your child Confused

Moshlingmummy · 29/05/2012 11:33

From your last post I would suggest getting rid of your dh.

Have to say your neighbour doesn't sound great but I'm not sure Sarah's law will help you. What makes you think he is a sex offender, doesn't sound like he wants to be near dd more like wanting a drinking buddy in your dh.

GobblersKnob · 29/05/2012 11:36

You have even titled your thread with 'can't believe I am attempting to do this'.

I can't either.

You are suggest to the police that this man is a peadophile, without any fucking suspicion whatsofuckingever?

Words fail me.

RickGhastley · 29/05/2012 11:39

I don't think Sarah's law will help.

If you can't trust your partner to keep your DD safe you need to ensure he is not in sole charge of her.

I am struggling to see why you are still with your husband?

lisaro · 29/05/2012 11:40

You're very judgemental for someone who 'works in a hostel'. You didn't mention that the last time you posted this strange tale.

Original poster
marykat2004 · 29/05/2012 11:41

Because I am clutching at straws. I want a normal family life. I want to be able to feel that my child is safe with her father. BUt her father is a spineless alcoholic who has lied many time over the last 6 months about his drinking.

I am being really selfish, to want to get rid of the neighbour so that I can go out and live my life and leave my child with her father a few times a week. Yep, I am a bad person aren't I.

OP posts:
lisaro · 29/05/2012 11:41

Maybe getting rid of the loser husband would be better.

Original poster
marykat2004 · 29/05/2012 11:42

@ lisaro. Ask anyone who works in a hostel. They don't want the hostel residents in their own homes. It's called 'boundaries'.

OP posts:
Kewcumber · 29/05/2012 11:42

"BUt her father is a spineless alcoholic who has lied many time over the last 6 months about his drinking. "

Well ditching the neighbour isn't going to change that. Ditching the DH will change that.

QueenOfF1amingEverything · 29/05/2012 11:42

I think you need to get rid of your husband tbh.

He sounds worse than useless.

The neighbour is a red herring really.

NigellaLawless · 29/05/2012 11:43

I remember your last thread. I understand that you are really stressed bg this whole situation. But I would suggest addressing your worries about your DH over and above worries about your neighbour.

For arguments sake, if you some how got the neighbour re housed, would you then feel safe leaving your daughter alone with DH? I suspect not and understandabley so given that he is an alcoholic who is drinking whilst supposed to be caring for his child.

I think you have some very hard decisions ahead of you, but you need to focus on the reality of your home situation and find a way of changing that to make your daughter safe.

GobblersKnob · 29/05/2012 11:43

Confused what are you doing with this man.

This is so odd, it's not just me is it?

Aboutlastnight · 29/05/2012 11:44

Op if you don't want this man near your DD when your husband is possibly drunk -and I quite understand that for your DD's safety as they are clearly in capable of caring for a child - then yes you put your foot down with your hb.

If you cannot trust your HB to do this then you cannot trust him to look after your DD alone.

Whether the neighbour is a sex offender or not, you do not want him unsupervised with your DD and your HB needs to know this is a deal breaker.

Horrible situation op

NigellaLawless · 29/05/2012 11:44

About not bg???

bibbitybobbitybunny · 29/05/2012 11:45

I don't blame you for not wanting this man in your flat, not one little bit (quite surprised that so many others on this thread seem to think you should befriend him and welcome him in Hmm) but you hoping that he is a registered sex offender seems to me to be a bit off the wall.

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