The fourth WIIT thread travels far and wide, with tales of new adventures to share.

[100years]

Hello Ladies,

Here is the 4th WIIT thread for our enjoyment.

Stats will have to follow at a later date, as I can't check back to see where everyone is accurately at the moment.

Get posting and lets see where this thread takes us. :)

old thread

I think it's a positive thing and your DH is probably just seeing the need for Relate as a sign of failure (which it's not at all) as men can be a bit like that.

WRT TBT when diffed.... It really depends on the individual. I personally could not cope with a long haul flight right now but may feel better by 24 weeks. I'm also a bit spoiled after my last 2 long haul flights being business and I really think I'd struggle to go long haul in economy now (I'm not as spoiled as that makes me sound!!! it's all airmiles)

I absolutely love being married. I'm also quite old fashioned and come from a very traditional family so there was no way I'd consider starting a family without marriage. Its a really personal thing though and what is really important to some people isn't to others.

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AC I wish I was a bit younger too (I'm 32 next month so very close behind you). I think our careers are a bit different to yours though because you have less guesswork - you know how much you'll earn each year, whereas ours are really unpredictable. Plus we could theoretically decide who was going to do childcare by the week or even the day according to what projects we have on IYSWIM, meaning that who compromises over work could possibly be a constant negotiation rather than one strategic decision if that makes sense.

I wonder if your DH looks crushed about Relate because it means he's going to have to face up to his fears rather than finding ingenious ways to deflect them? I reckon it's going to be a really really positive thing :)

Thanks for the marriage insights...we've both said that we definitely want to be married to each other at some point in the future, but I always get the sense when we talk about it that he'd actually like to reserve the right to do the proposing thing in some sort of romantic-surprise manner, despite my feminist inclinations! So I kind of feel like it's another thing I can't make happen, and dammit once again he's holding all the cards!

I realised this morning that all these things come to the surface for me when he's away a lot - I think it activates my need for 'more' of him plus an inevitable level of insecurity (he works in a field where he's likely to get a lot of female attention when away from home/working, and although he's an unbelievably loyal man and the most unlikely person ever to be unfaithful, that dynamic is obviously annoying!)

100 glad your epi is sorting itself out.

100 don't worry about being a bit absent, it is totally understandable, you must be shattered! Glad things are sorting themselves down under and that your LO is growing well.

AC re TBT while pg, I have no direct experience obv, but from my reading of these boards, it seems like different people can feel completely differently during pg. Some declare they felt the healthiest ever, others had hyperemesis or SPD. So I'd say it may be possible... but best not to book anything until you get more of a clue what kind of pg you are getting. Re Relate - when is your appointment? I think the fact your DH seemed crushed shows he realises how serious it is, so a good sign in a way. You wouldn't want him to be brushing it off as not serious... I really really do hope you can get some sense and decisiveness out of him.

Quod I also know what you mean about wanting you to both want it rather than you doing the pushing. Having said that though... I was definitely the one pushing to start TTC, DH wanted to wait longer - however after a few months of unsuccessful TTC, and several more friends announcing they are pg, DH has become much much more keen. At the weekend we were at a wedding, he told me out of the blue that he'd be really excited if I was pg . So I guess what I'd say is, keenness may well increase during the TTC/pg phase...

As regards the impact on career, hmm, I think this is mainly about being firm in insisting it's 50/50 once the DC arrive, and not falling accidentally into the standard male/female roles, rather than about who was pushing for TTCing more.

So, marriage eh? Well I'd definitely recommend it . My DH also wanted to be the one to propose in trad fashion ... but I didn't see why the timing should all be down to him. My solution was to tell him that if he didn't propose by X date, I would propose to him instead. So in effect, he got to be the one to propose, but I got to have a say in the timing...

Minipie that's an excellent solution, maybe I'll have to try that! We're going to another wedding next weekend so there'll be plenty of wedding chat on the horizon.

WhyWait sorry you've been sick...didn't 100 go through a throwing up phase towards the end too?

SPR we need a pg update from you - what's new in your world? Have you stopped having MS now?

Right I'll try catch up but it's a phone catch up so not as good.

Re TBT when diffed we went away for a week when I was 26 weeks and it was about that time that my pelvic pain had started, the week away was relaxed and we didn't do a huge amount, I personally wouldn't have wanted to do a bigger trip/more stuff at that point, but that's me and I was suffering a bit at the time.

Yes I did start getting sick again towards the end of pregnancy but it wasn't too bad and quite infrequent compared to how I started.

Re marriage, I'm very keen to get married and would like it to be in the year I'm off work as it means no worrying about booking time off and being married sooner, however it's lots of work to sort out, and lots of money unless we go budget, and we also need to have the (and I'll whisper this for not wanting to be shot by some) when are we having number 2 chat because I don't want to be diffed at the wedding! So it's a case of timing.

She's settled down somewhat again :) but I'm ready for the next growth spurt/feeding frenzy! But it's fricking awesome being a mum and family :)

I braved a 50 mile each way journey today just me and Edith to go an see family :) clever mummy

Can't believe Edith is 3weeks old now! Time bloody flies by :) it's all visiting, being visited and feeding ooh and some sleeping at times. But I think I'm doing ok and starting to get a bit of routine in the day, wake feed express shower feed nappy feed lunch for me feed snooze etc. That's if I'm at home! OH has fed her too with my milk :) which is lovely for me, but mostly Edith and daddy to have daddy time :) just glad I am express for him to do it.

I'm back!! Well, got back Saturday & have been recovering! Think I might have a bit of a bug! :(

Anywhoooooo....

AC - How are you doing? Have you been to relate yet? How was it? FWIW I think you did the right thing.

Can't remember who asked but being married is not what I thought....but then we have had a pretty rough ride of it the last 4 years! We moved house in May 2007, found out I was pregnant in Nov 2007, got married in December 2007, had DD in August 2008, found out I had MS in December 08, DH had a 'breakdown' in March/April 09, his business subsequently went in the pooper & we have been trying to fight back ever since! So not the best start to married life, obviously DD was a big highlight but didn't come at a good time for us. DH works in the financial sector & all this happened just as the 'credit crunch' hit! Not good! All that being said, I don't think that our lives would have been any less stressful had we not been married IYSWIM! Moving house, getting married & having a baby within 15months was horrendous! But hey, live and learn!! Pros of being married...I feel a bit more secure in our relationship (not that DH is the type to cheat or swan off at the drop of a hat). I feel like people take me more seriously & treat me better! I know that sounds awful & probably not really a pro , but I look quite young & people generally treated me like a teenager alot of the time...especially when I was pregnant (even though I was married then)! (I got asked for ID when with my mum on holiday! I'm 30 next year!) But being married doesn't give me a warm fuzzy married inner glow! Not any more!! Probably a bit more jaded than I should be after a little less than 4 years of marriage! So all this waffling isn't really that helpful is it?! All this being said, I wouldn't not want to be married!!

My Internet has gone all weird!!! Oooo errrr!

Realised I had been a bit negative and depressing this morning, sorry bout that! I do love being married...honest!!

100-very brave doing that big journey on your own! Well done! Glad little E is doing well, how are you doing now?

Hi All!!

Sounds like everybody enjoyed the weekend weather! Even though it was lovely it was nice to walk up this morning to it being a bit cooler as I've been overheating a bit. Especially in my crappy office with no aircon and full of sweaty men!!

So........ Diff/life update from me:

• The sickness has decreased a lot and now I just have mild nausea and then the odd day of feeling really awful.
• I've started putting on weight and am now sporting a very little bump!!
• Have done the maternity wear purchase and am loving my new clothes (thank you topshop for allowing me to look like me with a bump rather than a frumpy middle aged fat woman!!!)
• I think I might have felt MiniSPR giving me a few nudges and kicks but am not 100% sure yet......
• MiniSPR has had his/her first pressies from Dsis and DM - bless!
• DH is now on 3 months gardening leave and so living at home which is lovely (I might get bored of him before the end of the year but it's nice for now!!!)
• we still have no idea where we are going to be living come March.......!

Think that's everything......!

SPR - Have I missed something, why is your DH on gardening leave & why might you have to move?! Sorry if it's already been talked about, my brain is struggling to retain info at the moment!!

V exciting about possible movements, how many weeks are you now?

He has been made redundant. I think it's probably a good thing though as he was quite unhappy there and they have put him on 3 months gardening leave and will pay him a lump sum at the end of gardening leave which is tax free and equivalent to 6 months salary. Means we won't loose out financially which is key at the moment!!

They have asked him for a proposal to work on a deal on a consultancy basis so hopefully that will be accepted and he can get some extra cash in that way. He's not allowed to work in a related field until Jan but will probably start looking sooner. Fingers crossed!!!

Hopefuly we'll be able to stay in Bath but if his work dictates then we may have to sell up and move back to the big smoke. Neither option is bad though so whatever happens will be fine. It just has a bit of an impact on my maternity care!!!

Yes - v.v.v.v.v exciting about the movements! Am 17+3 today and can't wait ofr my next scan!!!

Are you having a better day today?

Sounds like things are actually working out well then. If he was unhappy it's probably a blessing in disguise IYKWIM?!

Have you decided whether or not to find out sex at next scan? Probably are movents, I could feel DD from 14 weeks, but that's coz I was in bed & very still all the time! Felt like I was being tickled on the inside! :o

Not feeling much more positive today. Don't think the change in the weather & the grey outside is helping me today though!!

Yes - all for the best.

Having a bit of a crap day today as didn't sleep very well and when I woke up in the night I had cramps and a stabbing pain. Called my MW who has advised I go to my GP to get checked out to make sure it's nothing to worry about.

Still probably not going to find out the sex at the scan. Funny that you first felt DD when you were lying in bed one morning very still. I was exactly the same!!

Got to leave work early for my GP appointment but the pain is quite hard to ignore at the moment and so I am tempted to go now rather than wait until 2:30......

SPR, go & get it checked, it's far better to check it out (even if you end up feeling silly for worrying afterwards IYKWIM?!) FX it's nothing major x

Thanks Bebe

Am home now with my feet up and going to chill out until my appointment this afternoon. Am sure everything is fine but as you said, best to get checked out!!
How're you today?

Not too bad today, although feeling a bit :( after visiting the school we want DD to go to & it actually sinking in that in less than 12 months she will be at school!! My baby!!! :( Made worse by the fact that she didn't want to leave & told me to leave her behind coz she wanted to stay at school for ever & ever! :( Lets hope she is that keen next September!!

Glad you are taking it easy. Let us all know how you get on x

Oh Bless her!!! It's great that she is so excited about school though.

All ok at Dr's just ligaments so been told to not do too much lifting etc and take it easy. I'm following instructions and WFH today which si great as I am getting tons done (anod not just on MN!!!)

I'm pleased that she wants to go...and that she has none of the stress of application forms! Feeling very and a little bit teary with the stress of it all! Need to get a grip!!

Glad it was nothing too serious. Hopefully you can get DH to wait on you hand and foot?! :o

Oh God - I can only imagine how much paperwork there is to fill in. What a nightmare!

Am already moving into weekend mode over here. TFI Friday on a massive scale! Not loving being in the office today but at least we have a nice weekend planned :)

What is everybody else up to?

No massive plans here. (Except stressing over school admissions) Going out with DD in the morning tomorrow (to avoid DH & the rugby...might stay out all day if England lose) then have cakes and things to make. Probably go to church on Sunday, need to talk to the vicar (school application related:().

What lovely things do you have planned?

Hello! Glad your dd liked school bebe. Maybe you can get your cake business off the ground when she's there, though? SPR exciting about kicks and glad everything turned out to be okay.

I have issues going on... Will update later... But see my thread a couple of weeks ago in relationships for an idea. Agh.

SPR glad that nothing serious was wrong when you went to the docs, take it nice and easy.

Bebe, hope the school apps go well, and yes I bet it must be sad to think of your LO growing up and going off to school.

MrsS, not looked at other thread, but have a WIIT hug.

LO is now 4 weeks and a whopping 8lb5oz, which is 1lb12 up from birth weight, she's obviously taking in enough of my milk and growing really well. She's still very placid and chilled out, other than when she is mega hungry or mega windy, talking of wind we;ve started trying infacol to help her a bit, but I'm not convinced it's working and she's been more sick since she has been on it, think I'll try the gripe water we have, but can't do that till one month, which is sunday, it's just not nice seeing her squirm about in discomfort with the wind.

Loving being a mum and all that it entails, the tiredness is mostly OK and although today I'm feeling a bit meh about being tired it's only due to a few busy days, no day time naps for me and a couple of long wakings in the middle of the night on the past two nights. Had 2 short naps today which was good and hoping for a decent night tonight, we shall see.

100 - DD was a windy baby. Have you tried lying her on your lap/floor/sofa & bicycling her legs? Also rubbing belly gently in a clockwise motion can help if her tummy is a bit bloated. Sure you have tried things, but those worked well with DD. Also found infacol a bit useless, Gripe water ditto! But worth a go, every baby is different! x

Yeah bebe, done the bicycling legs, belly rubbing, on tummy across our legs patting back. She seems mostly settled, just occasionally the wind jumps up and gets her. Had a massive massive poo explosion yesterday, it was Tuesday last time she went so she was brewing it up for us. total strip down, clean off then bath for her, she loves the bath, happy as larry in the bath and kicking and gurgling away. Even her bouncy chair fabric has had to be washed to get rid of the poo! Oh well.

She's been making proper happy noises now, it's so so cute, I love it.

Just been for a run too :) Woohoo, enjoyed it. Hard, but not like it was last year. Realised I'm over 3 stone lighter than I was this time last year, that's due to the HG at beginning of pregnancy and losing 2 stone by 16 weeks, and only putting 13lbs of it back on, and then losing that plus more post birth :) My clothes are falling down, need to go shopping!

Hello all, hope you're all well.

I'm back from a mammoth week away which included a birthday in Italy and a wedding in Cornwall! Feel like I've only just caught up with myself. Poor DP had to pack another bag as soon as we got home and has gone off again for a whole week :( This is the final week of his mammoth month of being away 75% of the time so I'm trying to focus on that.

100 wow, well done you for getting running! Blimey. And 3 stone!! I bet there's not many women for whom pregnancy works that way.

Bebe it must be really tear-jerky thinking of sending your little one off to school - but a massive credit to you that she seems so independent and ready for it

SPR it sounds like a big period of readjustment for you and your DH, I agree the redundancy is a great opportunity to take some time and reposition himself. How are you feeling about a potential house move?

MrsS I read your other thread and hope you're finding things a bit easier. For me, close male friends is totally normal but I suppose it depends on the dynamic of the individual relationship, doesn't it?