The fourth WIIT thread travels far and wide, with tales of new adventures to share.

[100years]

Hello Ladies,

Here is the 4th WIIT thread for our enjoyment.

Stats will have to follow at a later date, as I can't check back to see where everyone is accurately at the moment.

Get posting and lets see where this thread takes us. :)

old thread

Bebe I get the same annoyance with my DP - his workmates and manager all seem perfectly able to go on holiday, but with my DP it's always imperative that he has to work on this thing now.
It's going to be a bit of a lonely month over here as DP is away for 75% of the time now til the end of October!

My friend delivered a HUGE baby this morning after nearly 48 hrs of labour! I was getting quite worried as she let us know labour had started on Sunday morning and we'd heard nothing until this morning. But all well, thankfully. So the owl is off to his new home!

I never understand why men are so funny about not taking time off work to be honest!! DH's boss was an absolute nightmare about annual leave and would regularly tell him that he would have to be on call on his holiday but he still took time off and would often turn his blackberry off and claim that he had no reception. His job was so stressful that he needed to take time off to get sleep and try to undo the harm that so much pressure does to your body. I think holidays are incredibly important and some companies actually get a bit funny if you don't take them!!

I am sure that your DH's jobs are important but surely the business can survive for a week without them there.....!

Speaking of irritating DH's......

I was slouching about in a pair of leggings last night after my bath and before bed time (I never really wear them but they were comfy for lounging about watching TV) and DH said to me:

DH "you can really see your shape changing in those leggings"
ME "Ummmm..... I'm wearing a long baggy top. how can you see?"
DH "I meant your thighs and bum, they are looking bigger, more solid"
ME "So you're saying I've got a big arse and thighs....?"
DH "Well it's not like you're fat because you've been eating too many pies, it's because of the baby......"
ME "Can we never discuss this again please!!"

I then kept on reffering to my giant arse and thunder thighs all night to ge the point accross!! He didn't see why I was upset because he was "worried I hadn't put on any weight until now and was pleased that had".

Men are so stupid aren't they?!?!?!

Erm.....tactless much?! Strop around a bit longer, just to hammer home the point!!

Unfortunately I do actually think that DHs company would fall apart without him! :( No one can do what he does, or deal with the crap that he has to fend off on a daily basis! :( Just have to keep reminding myself that it won't be like this forever! Or at least, it better bloody well not be!!

Feeling very mopey today with the realisation that I have been waiting to TTC for over 2 years! :(

Don't know why it's suddenly just hit me today. But definitely having a down day. Doesn't help that I'm getting DDs cold & feel rubbish (just in time for holiday) so all I really want to do is curl up in bed & slob around. Not even a peanut butter & banana sandwich can cheer me up!

Ok, so now I feel awful...DH just rang to say he's off to hospital with his PA as they suspect she is having a MC and is terrified! :(

Don't feel awful. How horrible for her but not your fault. Maybe this will remind your DH of how wonderful having DD was!?!?

Crap that you have the cold and that it's 2 years of waiting........ :( how long is it since your last BIG CHAT?

Last 'Big Chat' was about 2 months ago. The reasoning behind DH not wanting to TTC was pretty much financial/work based....this has not improved, if anything it's worse. :(

Spoke to him about 20mins ago, he is feeling very emotional & really traumatised by seeing her in such a state. :( Feel terrible for whinging about poor old me when she is going through this. I should be feeling so grateful for what I have, for DD.

Poor woman - but you shouldn't feel terrible Bebe, it's not in any way connected or related with you feeling down about your lot. I'm sure you are really grateful for DD but we can't all go round entranced with the wonder of life all the time, there has to be light and shade for all of us.

If his reasoning is to do with work/finance stuff, and that's not changing, then is there a way of persuading him that there has to be another criteria for when to TTC? Is there anything you could change around, or any way of bringing in more income maybe?

Oh, poor girl hope she and baby are ok. Don't feel guilty bebe how were you to know, and anyway it doesn't mean you're not entitled to be a bit miserable too.

What do you think about the work/finance reasons?

Bebe I have sent you an email about a corporate networking event I was invited to on the theme Pimms and cupcake masterclass. I thought it might be something you could replicate. It was really popular.

Oh shit must remember to read; then post, I've done it again haven't I? Sorry Bebe that's awful news. Hope she's ok.

AC - don't worry, I do that kind of thing all the time!! Email looks good, I shall have a think about that. Also had an idea (sort of stolen from something I saw online) about offering an 'afternoon tea' service in people's houses.

Quod - hoping that if I can get the kitchen sorted/inspected & start doing my cake stuff properly it might earn me some extra pennies & take a little pressure of DH. I know I won't earn mega money, but I will at least be able to buy food, petrol, clothes!

Minipie - I think DH has valid points when it comes to our situation being rocky & wanting some stability. BUT at the same time another baby wouldn't really cost us much more, we already have everything we need (even enough clothes wise for a few months as have a lot of neutral). I think there are other factors which need to be considered which he insists don't come into it or aren't important!

DHs PA has lost her baby. It is just so awful, she was 12weeks in a couple of days & had a scan booked for next week. DH is really shaken & upset. :( She's not only a work colleague, she's actually one of his (our) closest friends. I'm not even supposed to know as she had only told DH because of a situation at work. :(

Sorry for all the self indulgant posting today. Has anyone got any nice/exciting news to share to pick things up again?

That's really sad Bebe. My thoughts with her.

is a lovely moment which has cheered me up today. The man throwing glitter around is the headmaster.

How are the littlest Wiits doing? 100 are you feeling any better? I hope so.

Quod - that has also brightened my day! :)

WhyWait I don't know why I know about this (have a lot of yoga-type people in my life!) but you could look here: spinning babies

MrQuod has just left for a couple of days but he will be back for the weekend which he wasn't going to be originally. We have had 3 date-nights back to back this week (def not normal for us but just how things panned out) which has been lovely, and we have been talking quite a bit about the future, including how we might sort/divide/juggle childcare so as to minimise the possibility of one of having to sacrifice our career. An ongoing thing that concerns me - I'm quite attached to my career, as is he! How has everyone else negotiated this?

Thanks bebe, I am pleased that she has gained some good weight and that's thanks to my boobs!!! LOL And all the feeding she is doing. Sorry to hear about your DH's PA, but remember her things are a totally separate issue to yours and so you shouldn't compare things to her. (I've not worded that quite right I'm afraid)

SPR, :( to tactless OHs, but WW is right in your body storing fat to help breastfeed when LO arrives, and it depends on your body shape initially and some people carry on their hips etc. Maybe he could have put it better.

Quod, I am better now thanks - tired, but the 'illness' whatever it was has cleared up. Little WIIT is more awake in the day and really quite chilled still. Re the career thing, I'm not all that attached to what I was doing, so it's not a subject we had to contend with sorry. Cool vid.

WW, hope LO moves into a better position for you soon. Edith was head down and long from 24 weeks, so I didn't have to try anything, but I was scared that come the last few weeks she'd decide she didn't like it and end up being breech or something, but thankfully not.

Feeling quite tired at the moment. Find the evenings hit me the hardest for tiredness, as that's when she wants feeding more and I want to be going to bed myself, but I'm still loving it. Think I have mastered the art of night feeding, although I swear I had double vision this morning at 5am just through being half asleep! I'm staying in my dressing gown as long as I can today and have the health visitor here this afternoon at 3, have no idea what health visitors do! I'm a newbie re all that stuff.

Ive written a massive long post twice now & twice MN has lost it!!!!

I'll be back later to do it again! Need to put some biscuits in the oven!!

Bebe - Waiting (still) to TTC#2 hopefully sometime this decade!
Amanda - Waiting (still) to TTC#1, again, hopefully sometime this decade!
Squirrel - DD1 born 1st July
MrsS - Waiting to TTC#1 maybe early 2012 depending on what I decide!
SPR - DC1 due 10th March
100years - DD1 born 9th Sept
minipie - TTCing#1 since May 2011
Quodlibet - (hopefully on the final stretch of) waiting to TTC#1
WhyWait - DS1 due 21st November
Strawberrypie - DD1 due October 8th

Hi all, sorry to hear the very sad news from your friend bebe :(

Whywait- I think that your LO has plenty of time to get into the right position- my midwife seemed totally unconcerned about the possible breech position of mine until 36 weeks and even then most babies turn around of their own accord. Try not to worry but if you get to that stage and he is still oblique I would recommend trying hypnotherapy and/or acupuncture.

Quod- career wise if time off will affect things for you it is only fair that your OH shoulders 50% of any childcare. What does he think about this?

AC- any news on TBT? We are also still waiting for the egg white story! (only joking- I'm sure some things should be between a girl and their free range egg)

SPR- How rude of your OH! Am I right in thinking you have had an eating disorder in the past- he should know better than making comments like that- how to make someone feel bad at the worst possible time! Grrrrr! Being pregnant is the one time we should embrace and celebrate any body changes knowing that it is nature's amazing way of looking after the baby!

Congratulations nannyl! Come back and let us know how you are getting on! :)

bebe me too! I have just lost a long post . So sorry to hear about your DH's PA, poor her. What is it that is making your current situation rocky? And anyway, I think that factors in favour of TTCing now (we need an acronym for that! FIFOT?) can definitely outweigh some instability/rockiness - after all, there is never a perfect time to have a baby is there.

SPR I'm with your DH on this one (albeit he could have been a bit more tactful I guess!) It's good that you are gaining weight and good that he cares about your health rather than your slimness... I have heard of some awful DHs who are critical when their wives gain weight during pg

Quod the childcare sharing discussion is an interesting one, isn't it. At the moment I and DH both work long hours and something is going to have to change post DC if we ever want to see our DC and each other. We have discussed it - at length! - and tentatively agreed that post DC he will carry on in his job and I will look for a job with more regular hours so I can get home for the DC. In an ideal world we would share the childcare equally (and the feminist in me is screaming that our agreement is unfair). However, if we both took more family friendly jobs, we'd be a lot worse off financially. Plus he earns a lot more, and he can't change to a less demanding job as easily as I can. So... looks like we'll be falling into the traditional female/male roles, which I'm not all that happy about, even if in practice it suits us. Can you tell I'm quite conflicted about all this?

Would be very interested to hear what others intend to do re childcare/sharing responsibilities with their DHs/DPs.

Strawberry I agree with your point but it's so hard to get egalitarian principles to match up to circs in real life. Whilst DP is very enlightened and massively supportive of my career, and in theory supports the 50/50 idea, the circumstances are that if his stuff does well this year, he will be cresting a wave and will most likely be earning waaay more than me, hopefully enough to support us both if I'm having mat leave (I won't get any maternity pay bar MA). He's also the centrepin of his venture, whereas I co-run my company and we share workload much more evenly. So there's potential for me to step back and scale down and still remain integral to my company, whereas if he cut back his commitment to any significant degree the whole thing would collapse. On the plus side we are both probably a lot more flexible than most people so could juggle our respective workloads and a child more easily than a lot of people, and I reckon with a combination of tag-teaming, shifting things, downscaling slightly and getting some childcare to top up we could manage something approaching good parenting and intact careers (!) but I am preparing myself for the probability that there will be lots of negotiating priorities. In short, we probably won't know how to work it out til we get there - but I do feel like we should agree some basic principles first!

Yeah - can we have the egg white story please?!?!?

RE: The Childcare issue, I am probably not going to be much help as I am the complete opposite to you! I wanted to give up work when we got married and become a full time housewife but DH was not keen on the idea and thought I should have a few more years of work.

Now I am PG I have negotiated a minimum of a year off work and then he has said that I should do something between DC1 and planned DC2. I'm not coming back here though so am either going to retrain and set up something myself or try and find a "nice" PA role that I can do part time.

Haha Minipie xposted with you. Yes I feel lots of the same conflictedness! I want it to be taken into account that my career is more flexible than his because I have consciously structured it that way with half an eye on having kids in the future (have been making our company 'parent friendly' for years!) whereas he has just gone hell for leather on his, which is what allows his career to be at the peak that it is - I think lots of couples 'find' themselves in similar situations and there is a danger that the woman's career never recovers. I'm hoping that it will all work itself out in the long run.

I am secretly hoping that he'll love having a housewife and say I don;t have to go back to work....... here's hoping :)