Your psychic encounters....

[Lizzer]

Ok, not a deadly serious one but I am in really interested in people's brushes with fate, meetings with mediums, palm readings, tarot card predictions etc...
I am really considering getting an reading done myself soon. I have had a quick one done before and it has turned out pretty correct. I talked to my friend about it and she says she prefers not to know, anyone think like that or thinks it's a load of bull? Anyone been conned completely or amazed at their's??

Incidently, anyone have the Living channel and watched 'crossing over with John Edwards'? I was fascinated when I watched it at a friend's house recently - but then it's only (american) TV and could be utter rubbish...

Lizzer - perhaps you could just write the letter and not send it - for now at least.

I got pregnant after a "brief relationship", shall we say, and knew from the start that I would be bringing the child up alone. However, I still felt she deserved to know her father and vice versa. He wasn't violent at all but just, I thought, cowardly in avoiding the issue. He did eventually see his daughter, for the first time, when she was 15 months old but the trigger for it was my writing him a letter. The situation between him and me is far from ideal - for reasons I don't really want to go into here - but the ice was definitley broken by my writing to him. I made sure I read it the next morning prior to posting to ensure it wasn't emotive but it had the effect of putting me in control.

Hope this makes sense - I'm writing it quickly whilst at work. Anyway, all the best.

Hi Lizzer,

There is no point in being sarcastic with him- it would only give him the excuse HE is looking for to turn nasty. Be firm and resolute and stand your ground.

As he knows you still maintain contact to his mother and regularly visit her with your daughter it is HIS choice to stay away and not see his daughter, therefore his interest in your daughter is practically zero. He is trying to get at you, he has very little interest in your daughter, so don't let him manipulate you, as this is what this is about.

On the occasions when X-hub comes to Belgium, I do not let him stay in the house and I do my best not to get annoyed because that would be playing into his hands. What really annoys me is the nasty, yucky, tacky toys and sweets he buys for the children as I see it as an attempt to buy the children's affection. However I no longer rise to that bait either as I say to myself that they will be broken and in the bin within a few weeks. I try to do my "tower of serenity" bit although on these occasions I feel more like a volcano on a leash!

Do you have the option of blocking calls/ messages from his number on your mobile?

I don't think your X is serious about contact to your daughter or he would have made contact ages ago or seen her when he knew she was at his mother's house. He is trying to hurt YOU. It is up to you not to let him!!!! Be strong.

Sending lots of positive thoughts in your direction!

M.

Lizzer dont feel like that, it took me 9 years to realise what I was in and deserved better, I should have listened to myself on my wedding day and not gone through with it. I shut myself away from everybody and become a very nasty person because I was so unhappy, but thought it was a normal marriage. But I have learned alot about what I do deserve and what makes me happy and luckly I have found somebody who is now my world and I can be me. Look on the bright side, if you hadnt had the three years you would have your daughter. You will be ok and dont allow him to spoil your life .

Lizzer, you've been given lots to think about here! can I add for now, having originally suggested a letter I had another thought.

Perhaps you should seek legal advice via the CAB or legal aid before you post him anything. Looking on the dark side, if he makes any challenge through the courts - money, access etc - in the future, any letters you've written to him could be used against you, I suppose. Could you ask a legal someone to read your letter before you post it?

I think that some form of communication with him to establish ground rules about the way he contacts you in future will help you feel 'safe' and in control. If you decide it's a hornets nest, could you get a solicitor to write this? In your ex's eyes this might add force to your message.

Another thankyou for your messages here.

Tigermoth - this is just what my Mother has just suggested to me (to get some legal back up) but I'm frightened of him looking at it as a 'threat' to which he may turn nasty, specially when combined with his alcohol consumption. I think its a very sensible idea though, I made a will this year to appoint my parents as legal guardian should anything happen to me, but I haven't made provisions for him challenging her custody while I'm alive - I think I should try and sort something out in case this happens. Also, my friend suggested I keep a record of any contact he tries to make and my reaction to this, again, in case things turn nasty and, like you suggested, I could use this in court should it get to that satge.

Joe- I also shut myself away and tried to pretent things were ok. But now I'm feeling so positive about life at the moment in every other way, I just have to gain the strength to confront my fears about him and realise he can't hurt me anymore...

Hedgehog- thanks for the positve thoughts I'm catching from you! Its quite scary hearing your experiences as they are so spookily similar to my own and you are so right in knowing what he's after (an argument, a chance to put me down to make himself feel better etc.) I wish I could be as plain thinking and 'stand my ground' like you, I hoping this will come in time...

Tinker- I was really interested reading your post its thrown a different light on the subject, i.e. its all very well for me to be defensive and not want to part with dd without a fight, but at the end of the day I would like her to have contact with her father as despite everything I think its important for both of them. I have so nearly written so many letters perhaps one day I'll send one and it hopefully it will work out for the best as yours did...

Even if I'm sounding a bit down in this rambling (lovely appointment at hospital today - see another thread!) I'm actually feeling loads better about everything and thanks again for giving me all this support

Lizzer,

You will be just fine!!!

His chances of getting custody of your daughter are practically zero, you will probably be able to prove that he has an alcohol problem and the fact that he has shown no interest in your daughter whatsoever will also count against him- especially as you even go to the effort of taking her to see HIS mother!!!!

The letter idea is a good idea, if only to clarify your own ideas, however I would be extremely wary of sending any letter to my Xhub, knowing how manipulative he is, as anything would be twisted and used against me. (Mind you, some of the mind-blowing nonsense that his lawyers are coming out with really make me wonder how they can possibly take him seriously or are they just letting him dig his own pit?)

You can stand your ground! I used to be the biggest wimp imaginable until I realised it was really up to me to take control of my life and this is something I have been working on. You can do it!!! The power of mind can be quite unbelievable. I will keep sending you lots more positive thoughts!

Back to the subject of coincidences, I was pondering recently about 2 of my closest friends, both of whom have the same name as me, although in one case the spelling is slightly different but in her case the initials are the same as mine, the one with the same spelling also has 4 kids of the same ages as mine!. One is born on 10.03 and the other one on 03.10 and I'm on 03.12 odd? but then my whole life has been surrounded by coincidences and intuitions. I do hands on healing (when I get the time) and it is unbelievable how quickly it can send a fractious child to sleep! My second child definitely has something too, she's a little fairy but then I always used to be called a witch! (when I was a child I always wanted to be one- a nice one who healed everybody- but my career took a different path!)

Hi, lizzer, been away for a while and am catching up on things. Sorry to hear of rotten ex and Doctor!

You're right he sounded drunk and it sounded a flippant text. You were right to ignore it (in my opinion) and only need to worry IF he ever gets his act together, cleans himself up, and attempts to have 'proper' contact/relationship with your daughter. Which from what you have said sounds pretty doubtful.

I would be cautious about getting into letter writing etc, incase as someone said, it gets manipulated etc. If you ever have to, do get it checked and take legal advice. He doesnt have to know you have taken the legal advice. It will help you feel in control.

Which at the end of the day is what you are Lizzer, very in control. You have bought your daughter up so well - having made the brave decision to leave him, she is in a lovely environment with your family, you sound a happy positive person, you are doing FANTASTICALLY with your weight and feeling good about yourself, and you have great plans, dreams and ambitions for the future, for you and your daughter.

He is NOT going to ruin your life, and he will have a long, heavy battle if he wants to be part of your daughters life. He cant just walk into it.

Lots of love

Ems - Aw, thankyou for responding its lovely to hear from you at any time (specially when cookery is involved!) Thanks for your advice too...

Hedgehog - I feel the same about the 'manipulation' factor. Sometimes I can sit and think of something to write down and then think 'No, best not cos he could look at it like this...or this, and if he's drunk, then this!' I hope I can overcome my wimp-y attitude with him, I'm hoping its possible...

As for your coincidences, I had a strange one that I didn't include in my orignal message. The fact that after I had had these texts from him I was driving home from visiting a friend and turned on the radio, only to hear 'our song' (y'know, the song that sums up your entire relatonship and which you both used to love and listen to a lot!) Its not in the charts or anything and I haven't heard it for ages so was really spooked by that one!

I visited London on Sunday and went to Covent garden. In there is a Chinese man who reads your palm. He is really good. I only had a short reading but he pretty much described the person I am and how I see my life opening up in the future. Worth a visit if you are there.

Oooo going at the end of the month Joe - now there's a co-incidence seeing as I live in the NW. Maybe this thread existed to tell me that...

Something that I didn't mention when I was have a bad time of it 2 weeks ago was that I read my stars for the horrible week a week later and it said - no word of a lie 'a skeleton in the closet will present itself to you on Thursady' - that was the night I got the text message from my ex, after a year of no contact, I was sooooo spooked! It was in Now magazine of all places so now I'm religiously reading them

Ok, here's a weird one for those of you who may be interested... My dd, now nearly 2,has, for the past few weeks, changed her routine at bedtime. We have the usual set of teddies and drink of water on hand and I've always done a little speech about our day together, kisses etc... But recently she's began asking in a very clear voice, 'Where's Max?' just before I leave, every night. Now, obviously you'll know how easily I'm spooked by now from earlier posts- BUT it seemed a bit odd as we don't know anyone or have any toys called max and the only one I could think of was the tweenie's character - but then she hardly watches it and has shown no particular interest in him?? So after asking her what she means and getting various answers like, 'max gone home' and 'max all gone', I asked her gently last night,'does Max come here?' and she said yes, then I asked if Max comes to see her in bed, and she said yes! These are the words of a 2 yr old I know, before any of you say it. But (how many times can I write 'but' in 1 message!) I've heard that children can pick up on spiritual things easier than adults. To make it a bit stranger and without going into too much detail as its all a bit raw, I did have a pregnancy before dd, was convinced it was a boy, and I don't have to tell you what name I was thinking of for him do I...?

Sorry, you may think I'm making this up but although I'm one for making them big mountains out of molehills - I'm genuinely a bit puzzled. Interested in anyone's point of view - even if its a 'get a life' type of comment...

Lizzer, do you think it might be an imaginary friend? My son developed on about the same age (called Buin), and he still appears sometimes now he's 31/2.

Our son (2 and three quarters) has also recently started mentioning an imaginary friend. He just calls him 'the boy' and sometimes he's with us and sometimes he's not. I've had to get the boy out of the car, help the boy down the stairs and yesterday he came into the kitchen and announced that the boy would like my sunflower I keep in a jug on a shelf. He's also put the boy to bed and told us all to be quiet. A bit of further questioning about the 'boy' suggests that ds sees him as much younger than him - a baby.

I read something about a book someone was writing about imaginary friends and she had this theory that they were as yet unborn siblings. Now a gypsy once told me that I'd have another boy, so this feels a bit creepy too...

My DD has a whole raft of imaginary friends when she was younger. There was Gavin, Sophie, Jack and Victoria, to name but a few. Not only did they join in her games and sleep in her bed but they came to the table at mealtimes, although I didn't have to set places for them. The worst thing was that she would insist they all be allowed through doors. I felt a right charlie holding open shop doors saying, 'Come on Sophie, your turn Jack.' to thin air!! My older boys got fed up of having to kow tow to all these fairy folk and 'pushed' Gavin off Hadrian's Wall when we were on holiday one year!! I don't think DD has ever quite forgiven them, even though she's a teenager now.

Mmmm, I believe imaginary friends are people who have passed and children see them. My sister had an imaginary friend who used to tell her lots of things she couldnt possible know, one being that our nan had died and our mum had not yet told us. She used to go most places with her then just disappeared. Like I have said before my sister can still do this but I can only feel. My cousins little girl often has a proper conversation with somebody and because my cousin is quite used to it because of the rest of the family he doesnt make a deal of it. Lizzer she might only have this one friend and he might not be around for long. I think it is all the loveliness of being a child, total innocence.
Lizzer, have you been watching much of John Edward. Dh tried to get me one of his books for Christmas but takes about 3 months to get here from the States.

Not spooky star, cool, but that is only because Im used to it. It still freaks dh out sometimes with what my family come out with. Its funny though how the children dont think there is anything wrong.

Thanks for your messages, I'm glad its a more 'normal' occurance than at first I thought and I really hope it is an imaginary friend. She told me last night that Max gives her a kiss ni-night!

Joe1, I haven't been able to watch JE for some time because we don't get living, but caught it the other week at my friends - he really is sooo good. I'd love to see his book, perhaps they will release it over here in the new year? Also, I agree with your theory about people passed and children picking up on this.

Suedonim, LOL at poor Gavin's hadrian's wall accident!

Lizzer, I have just started reading on of John Edwards' books, good so far.

Oooo, I might have to beg steal or borrow one myself then!