I'm flabberghasted!

[Carla]

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I would be more concerned about my dd than about whether the nanny was right or wrong to say what she said. People make comments like that to and about overweight people all the time - it's a sad fact but it's true. And bear in mind that the nanny might not have said anything at all - the friend might be lying.

Make sure that she knows she is loved and valued as a person, regardless of her weight - if children are insecure at all, comments like that can trigger eating disorders in some cases, particularly if it's not just being said as a one-off.

Perhaps you could use this as a trigger to talk about healthy eating, or to make some steps towards cutting back on the things that she's eating which are making her overweight?

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Yes I am not unsympathetic to your upset Carla. I do think the nanny was very rude to say that, but you have to realise that if your dd is overweight, the nanny will not be the only person saying this about your dd. Lovely though she undoubtedly is, if you want to protect her against these comments, there is ony one thing you can do.

I agree the nanny was wrong to say such a hrutful thing about a child. However I do also agree with wwb's idea of using this as an opportunity to talk about and promote healthy eating.

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Well, I suppose if you don't know how dd is putting on the weight, have you considered discussing it with a doctor? Could it be a thyroid problem or something?

But I don't think you are worrying about that here. I do agree with you that the nanny was very rude. I think you can only give your dd a cuddle and make her feel better about herself.

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Cut out the Yorkshires for starters!

I have had fussy eaters so I do know your difficulty. All I can suggest is trying tiny bits of new thngs as often as you can.

Carla I would have thought if that's all she eats then wouldn't she lose weight?

How old is dd as some children just have puppy fat and then lose it as they get to about 5.

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But by letting her have what she wants all the time, you're not encouraging her to eat other things. The usual advice with fussy eaters is to put their food down in front of them, and then if they don't eat it, take it away without a fuss and don't make them anything else. If she doesn't eat it then you still take it away without comment. Children won't usually starve themselves, and if she's hungry then she'll eat. It's not a case of denying her her favourite meal - she can still have it, just not every day.

What else does she have during the day? Does she have school dinners or sandwiches? She must be eating something other than what you give her in the evenings. Does she have crisps, chocolate or biscuits that could be causing her to put weight on? Does she have money that she could be using to buy things that you don't know about?

WWB, yes, she has all that crap, too. It started off at nursery, when I worried that if I didn't put at least something she'd eat in her lunchbox, she'd come back tired and starving.

But I don't think (she says, hopefully) it's anything I've done wrong. Like I said, dd2 will happily munch on a giant tomato, or a piece of pepper, or slices of cucumber.

I just don't know where I've gone wrong with her. From weaning her, she had omlette with loads of veg in, other healthy stuff too, then suddenly it all stopped. Right off Health Visitors, don't think they know more than us anyway.

don't buy that stuff and then she can't eat it

I am fat btw

WWB is right

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cod, no. They're M&S ones, and when I tried her with Waitroise ones, I got hit.

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She hit you for the wrong shops yorkshire pudding

And she is 7 years old

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If she is a bit overweight I would go with the putting a healthy meal in front of her and then if she won't eat it just taking it away again. I have a very fussy eater and a very good eater, but my fussy eater is skinny as anything, so I have to try and get some food into him somehow. If she needs to lose a bit anyway, it's not so critical. Try it for 2 weeks and see how it goes!

She was tired. And haven't you preferred one Tiramisu over another

Incidentally, do you know the origin of Yorkshire Pudding? It was served as a first course with gravy to fill you up so that you weren't too hungry when the main course came, because there wouldn't be much meat to go round. So if you are trying to get her to eat a bigger variety of things, a stodgy pudding isn't going to help really! What about having her favourite meal every Friday at the end of a week as a treat?

onb the rare occassion, that i have dished up shop bought yorkshires, my kids would not notice where they were from.

TS, she gets home from school starving. I've tried fruit, veg, etc to take the pang away, but she always wants carbohydrates/sugary stuff.

You need to take control back from her. You're the adult; you decide what she eats, not her. And if she hits you then you have to discipline her for it, not reward her by giving in to what she wants to eat. So far you're actually rewarding her for bad behaviour - she screams for Yorkshire pudding so she gets it, she hits you for buying Waitrose and not only does she get away with it, you go back to buying M&S.

Chocolate and crisps are OK as treats but if she's having them every day then they're not helping with her weight. My dd has a packet of crisps once a week - she'd have them every day if I'd let her, but it's not healthy. Same with sweets and chocolate - she has sweets once a week as well, and they have to last her.

TS, that is her favourite meal! Oh, FFS, what am I doing wrong? It's driving me mad, doing 4 different meals each evening!