Why is it OK for dads to work fulltime, but less acceptable for mums to do it?

[hunkermunker]

That's it really. Just pondering it. I work four days a week (three weekdays, one weekend day).

And I've had surprised looks from people that I'm working so much. But I like my job, DS is happy with his grandparents for three days a week and his dad for the other.

And I was just wondering why people don't think it's odd that dads often don't take much time off after their baby's born (two weeks isn't much!) and then work five days a week. Nobody says to DH, "Aw, you must miss your DS" like they do to me - so why is this?

I don't want a debate about WOHM and SAHM - I know there are people who couldn't do whichever one they're not and have read all that before. I just wondered about the mum/dad working thing.

I re-read it and laughed out loud actually, and think it worked quite well! Just a bit of fun I thought, obviuosly not!
Sorry it seems to have angered you so much you felt the need to be quite so rude.
How charming of you.

PS i'm not a t**t, just so you know.

Have a good day, perhaps that nap is a good idea?

OMG, LC! Absolutely no need for that!

TC, ignore, ignore, ignore xxxxxxxxxxx

Hunkermunker, that's a thread title all to itself !

yes, that message should probably be deleted, it's very nasty and uncalled for

Hunker - Fantastic point!!! Just because some Mums don't lurrrrrv the new baby stage doesn't mean to don't deserve to have children!

LOL, Bosscat - yep, probably is!

I'm actually not bothered by it HM, it's so OTT that although it's a litle shocking, esp 1 line in particular, it's more funny than anything else.

Its just not possible to have this discussion without people taking offence on here, theres alawys one!!

Have reread and love the "mature mothers" comment - PMSL!

It wasn't until DD was about 18 months old and I was able to wean off anti-d's and anti-anxiety drugs that I was able to truly fall in love with her.

And there are many, many women in similar situations. All of them lovely mothers who just happened to have a disease called PND that they couldn't help getting.

Expat - Me too with ds!

ooooooh no toothache, in my defence, I totally didn't mean "deserve" to have children. I just didn't understand why then wanted to have more when they said they hadn't enjoyed the experience. But I totally take the point that things don't always look like they seem and you never know what's going on beneath the surface to its always best not to judge.

Ooops Bosscat - Sorry that was directed at an earlier post of loveclouds where she said that if a woman returns to work fulltime when her child is very young then that poses the question "why did she have kids at all?"

Quite, bosscat. I know a gal back in the US who went through a lot of expensive fertility treatments to conceive. Although it appeared she and her husband were well off, she had to go back to work when her child was 4 months b/c they were in some serious debt over multiple IVFs and a failed business in the past.

It happens.

But her son is a happy, well-adjusted 5-year-old now!

Besides.... I'm enjoying having a bit of money now.... have I mentioned I've got a Cleaner.

"loosen their knickers" though. Hmmm, I'm thinking lovecloud may not be from this country? what a strange expression, although she seems to have the hang of swearing ... tut tut.

I don't get why a mother is seen as cheating/depriving her kids if she works and a father in the same situation is a stand-up bloke doing his bit for the family? Is a mothers love only valuable in quantity while dad's is just about quality? doesn't maake sense to me.

heee heeeee, I might have heard a rumour toothache.
Fab isn't it, I love comin ghome even more on Tuesday nights!
But then i am a t**t!

Ha, I just visited a friend who has worked full time since her girls were about 6 months and my jaw dropped when I saw her house. I have serious house envy, so more money is one of the upsides for sure.

Alicatsg - Hear hear! At one point DH was going to give up work as my earning potential at the time was much higher.... and to be honest I was so ill with PND that I wasn't really the best person for ds to be around alot!

See what you've done humkerMunker!!
I've been insulted and it's all your fault! I shall get you for this. But I'm immature like that!

Damn, I really do have to get on, but finding that hard to do now, wish I'd never logged on today!

Have to say DH is a better SAHP than I would ever be - far more chilled and patient. Personally I think people should do the roles that suit them best (me career bitch, him caring parent and chef) rather than play to outdated steroetypes. That said I start a new job on Monday and after 6 weeks at home I'm rather wishing I was more stay-at-home able!

Sobernow - what a thoughtless person! Am shocked!

alicat, I hope that people genuinely don't think that women are cheating/depriving their kids by going back to work these days. Its a necessity in life to have 2 incomes for the vast majority of people, myself included. I would feel sorry for anyone who actually didn't enjoy spending time with their children though and worked to escape them whether it was male or female.