Why is it OK for dads to work fulltime, but less acceptable for mums to do it?

[hunkermunker]

That's it really. Just pondering it. I work four days a week (three weekdays, one weekend day).

And I've had surprised looks from people that I'm working so much. But I like my job, DS is happy with his grandparents for three days a week and his dad for the other.

And I was just wondering why people don't think it's odd that dads often don't take much time off after their baby's born (two weeks isn't much!) and then work five days a week. Nobody says to DH, "Aw, you must miss your DS" like they do to me - so why is this?

I don't want a debate about WOHM and SAHM - I know there are people who couldn't do whichever one they're not and have read all that before. I just wondered about the mum/dad working thing.

Nope - I do four. Honestly, MI, keep up!

I agree with paolosgirl.

Lovecloud - I went back to work 40 hrs a week when ds was 18wks old..... because I had to or we would have lost the house. DH didn't earn enough to pay the bills and my maternity pay stopped.

Please please be careful what you post, its very insensitive to make out that a woman could just do without a couple of luxuries and stay at home longer with the baby. We lived in a £35,000 ex-council house... we couldn't do any scaling down.

It cracks me up that people have a 'bit of a problem' - ing sweetly, with both parents working full time and people 'who don't understand' how you can work out of the home when you have young kids. ohhhhh dear,
Thanks God we're all different though aye. I'd hate to live in a world where we were all the same. (Esp if that meant I had to be a SAHM! }

lol TC! So true.

With dd I went back to work 4 days when she was 6mths and fulltime now she's a year old..... thats because we could afford for me to do that this time.... and just ran up lots of debts on the credit card.

i think all mothers should have to right to receive maternity pay up until their child is one years old.

babies need their mothers!

why is it so hard to survive and improve your life.

i just cant ever see me getting anywhere or a mortgage. i want to be a mother and left a great career to do it. i do work part time but it is not going to pay our debts.

the only way i could see us getting anywhere is if i worked full time, i am pregnant with our second child and i just could not do it no matter what was offered at the other end.

maybe we should leave in some other country were living is not so hard.

i have the least out of all my friends and most of the time it does not bother me, i guess i cant have the best of both worlds.

kids grow up so fast, i cant believe dd will be three next year, when both children are at school i guess i will work 5 days but around their hours.

time for my nap - signing out

Too true Thomcat.

I really can't understand these dull women who want to stay at home with their kids all day - jesus how sad for the children that their parents can't be bothered to make a bit of an effort and do something with their life.

And to make sure nobody can take offence I will put a wee smiley in here .

FFS think about what you are saying sometimes just because you don't understand or wouldn't do it doesn't make it wrong!

That's wonderful lovecloud, I'm so happy for you.
have a lovley nap. I'm off to do soem work, can't stop, take care though aye

LC - THats because you can do it. Well done! Brrrravo! What if the choice was you work fulltime.... or go homeless? Wouldn't be so quick to judge then would you? And that is a reality for a lot of women.

Sorry.... this shouldn't be a debate about SAHM v WOHM parenting... but Lovecloud you do seem to be dragging it that way!

Gomez, what have I said that you have taken offence to exactly.
Oh that I said i wouldn't personally want to be a SAHM, ohhh right, sorry about that.
Not sure I implied that I think it's cos it's dull though, I certa9nly don't, never have thought that so not sure how I would have implied it.

toothache stepping awaaaaaaaaay from the thread

i am not saying mothers who work full time with babies are bad people, I know you are doing it because you have to. I am just saying I cant understand how you do it as it would of been torture for me.

Mothers who choose to and not because they have to leave "babies" and work full time, they are the mothers that i ask "why bother having a baby?" surely they could work part time and the go full time when their baby is a toddler?

TC - NOoooo I think Gomez was directing that at Lovecloud not you!!!!

LC - Are you just trying to wind people up????

oops, toothache stepping further awaaaaaay from the thread

Sorry - just re-read my last post and it is a bit of an over reaction.

Wasn't aimed at anyone and in particular not you Thomcat but I was riled but the whole you can stay at home if you really want to. Or how can you leave your child to work tone that the previous postings had been taking.

BTW I work, always have done and always will in some form or another.

Sorry, i have to come back again, and say, where the fk have I said, or even implied it's wrong. FFS yourself love. You obviously know nothing about me or waht my views are, and yes I did put a smiley ^because6 i don't, and never do mean any offence in what I said. I simply said 'thanks god we're all different'. If you have a problem with my post, it's your problem not mine, I haven't said anything wrong.

FWIW LC - Being forced to work when ds was only 18wks old nearly drove to suicide several times. Does that make you feel any less judgemental?

OI You Two (gomez and TC)!!! You have both totally misunderstood each other!! You are both fighting in the same corner!! Now kiss and make up.... and get back to work.

toothache drrrragging her ass off this thread now

oh bollocks, posts crossed. Eeeek, sorry. Okay, calmed right down.. Sorry i thought it was totally directed at me and was gutted and peed off that you were (or I thougth you were angry with me) I really have not one single thig against either WOHM or SAHM's, I relaly don' and ... oh anyway, look let's kiss and amkeup, even if we never fell out, okay - X

gomez is *good8 at sarcasm by the look of it HAHA

Oh Thomcat sorry!

I've been away from work for 18 months and miss it dreadfully,especially this week as I have been doing the rounds of old colleagues and workmates.

I don't know that anyone has criticised me for any of my work permutations (f/t p/t and sahm).

My dh loves his job but in the future we are planning a couple of years in NZ (plenty of work for me there) and he will be an sahd. He'll be fantastic too!

The only sahd in my school crowd is so cool and organised. They have three kids under 6 and he is fab at his job. Pretty goodlooking too.

gomezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz, love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

PS lovecloud - ha haaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, sorry sweet, I don't just work cos I have to, never, ever presume that all mothers work tpo scrape soem sort of living and are miserable as hell and pine to stay at home. Really not the case for many a WOHM, some of us love combining hte 2, some of us love our jobs and love coming home to our well cared for kids. I'm lucky enough that my 'childminder' is my mum btw.

Mad mumsnet thread alert! Hooters at the ready!

LC - I really don't work because I have to I work because I bl**dy want to!