My friend slept with a man at the weekend who took his condom off... is this sexual assault?

[colditz]

She went out iwth a group of friends, and ended up in bed with this chap.

She never wants children, is a 25 year old career girl in fact, and she made it abundantly clear that he would have to use a condom, as she is not on the pill.

He really did not want to use the condom, but she managed to ensure that he did.

They had been having sex for about 5 minutes, when she realised the condom had gone missing. She kicked him off, and asked him where it was, and she found it on his side of the bed.

At this point, she got dressed and stormed out.

She says that she could tell by his reaction that it was not a mistake, he had been moaning all the way through about wearing the condom, and when they changed position (at his instigation) she thinks he took it off.

He has not spoken to her since, even though she was at his (shared) house the next day. He made himself very scarce.

Where does she stand on this legally? she is going to g to the GUM clinic this week, but she is sooooo angry, and I would be too.

unless it's HIV......

but then I also do agree with you soap.

personally if he was akward about wearing it in the first place I wouldn't even continued trying to have sex with him.....

But he is lead to believe that there is a form of 'protection' in use that isn't!

Its all fine lines but the real question is where do you draw the criminal as opposed to moral one.

my thoughts exactly QueenofQuotes

Yeah must agree with QoQ on that -it would kind of ruin the moment, wouldn't it, having to hassle him to put on a condom? I think that would really turn me off, tbh

i agree that a legal case would be extremely difficult, certainly impossible unless she did contract something v serious (i.e. hiv, hepatitis etc) and hopefully she wont.

Legally I doubt if it's assault, although if there is an STD, it could be reckless endangerment I suppose. Hope for her that she hasn't got anything.

Message withdrawn

HIV and Hep C come to mind. Hep C especially is on the increase, and is a HUGE cause of liver disease resulting in premature death. Like HIV, it's an incurable virus.

Hope she gets tested for the gammut of STDs.

I agree w/QofQ, if he was hesitant in the first place, it'd have been 'goodbye'!

Happymumof2 I think the closest there has been to this was the blokes who went to court to stop their ex-dp's using the embryos frozen during cancer treatment.
And the man doesn't have to "come" to transfer some std's. Herpes and genital warts are both contact diseases.

spurs - there was a case in the news fairly recently of a man being convicted (can't remember what the charge was) of knowingly having unprotected sex with someone when he knew he had HIV.

Also forms of HPV that don't result in genital warts, but do cause abnormal cervical cells which can develop into cervical cancer, don't need full intercourse to be transmitted.

Message withdrawn

here you go

woman infects man convicted

man jailed for same offence

there was a prostitute in New Zealand who got a bloke find $2000nz for taking off as condom during sex

condom case

What a total arse!! Your friend could always scare the shit out of him in a few weeks time telling him she's pregnant - I'm sure the prospect of 19 years CSA payments would teach him to keep his cock under cover in future!!

Sorry all I caused some confusion here. I knew about the HIV convictions, I referring to Happymum's question about a man bringing a case against a woman for unplanned pregnancies with the comments about the frozen embryos.

I don't understand that, how can the embryos have been frozen if the pregnancies were unplanned? Doctors won't freeze embryos unless both parents consent, will they?

Happymum asked if a man had brought a lawsuit against a woman for getting pregnant against his wishes and my reply was the closest thing I could remember was that 2 women had undergone cancer treatment and had fertilized embryos frozens. The relationships had ended but both women had become infertile through the cancer treatment and wanted to use the frozens embroys but the ex partners didn't want children wiht the women anymore IYSWIM. Does this make sense now? Maybe I've had too many fizzy laces!!

Oh yes, now I remember it. So the pregnancies were planned, but one of the parties changed their minds about it. I remember that. IIRC the judge found for the men involved who had changed their minds.

Yep, something about this being a very rare case as the men had a say in the conception before it had happened and that he couldn't allow them to pay for a child they didn't want even though both women were willing to sign legal documents absolving them of all responsibilites.

Any other opinions on this from the late shift?

I don't think she has any sort of legal case unless he knowingly infected her w/an STD. I'm certain she's telling the truth, but to prove that beyond a reasonable doubt before a judge would be extremely difficult, b/c he would say it fell off. Also, they'd been drinking, so her judgement was impaired.

Sad, but true.

Hope she's okay healthwise and next time as QofQ suggested if they're hesitant about the condom in the first place it's probably best just to call a taxi and go home.

Also she might want to look into some birth control as well if she never wants kids.

I would be tempted to tell him the reason i was so insistant was becuase i had an STD and insist he go to the clinic urgently

I think you're right. She has been trying to get sterilised for ages, but as she is only 25 nobody will do it.

I have sent her to Boots in the morning for the morning after pill.

I wish I had been there, tbh. I would have dragged him downstairs, naked, and made him explain in front of all his mates, and their girlfriends, the contemptable thing he just did.