Why do you think that so many people just don't consider it an option to have only one child?

[Gunnerbean]

Is it because of social pressure to conform to the "2.4 children" model?

Is it because of pressure from family?

Is it because people don't think that a family with just one child makes a "proper" family and you need more than one to have and enjoy the full "family expereince"?

Is it because people think that they are doing thier first child some awful disservice if they don't give them a sibling or siblings?

Is it because people always want to try to have one child of either sex and to do that you have to have more than just one?

Maybe it's just that people are genetically programmed to have more than one to perpetuate the species?

These days, having just one child makes sense on so many levels. Particularly financially as bringing up children has become such a huge fiancial responsibily expense and so many people want to carry on working to maintain a lifestyle and standard of living for thier family too.

It seems to me that lots of people would like to stop at just one child but that something stops them and it just got me thinking what that is...?

For me there were lots of reasons to stick with one. In no particular order of significance:

Cost of childcare.

Hated being pregnant.

Ds was an angel baby (and slept really well) - would I be so lucky again?

House not big enough.

Don't have a "rich" husband, so can't afford to take off maternity leave (I had a different job when I had ds, so benefited from a generous maternity leave scheme which meant I had 5 months on full then half pay)

Dh one of four, not close to siblings and thinks they are overrated.

I'm a only child and don't really miss siblings - you don't miss what you haven't had.

Got to 35 and decided I was too old to have any more anyway - too risky after 35. Now I'm 37. Still think risks of something going wrong are quite high.

Have a happy healthy child - would having another one tempt fate?

Don't really like babies - might have had another one if they came out aged 4!

Now ds is 6.5 - would be a 7 year age gap -rather too big to have anything in common, but never say never - it would be quite nice to have a girl too.

PS I've never had a strop about the green triangles either

""I had more than one because I was an only child (not through my parents choice) and I would not wish to deliberately inflict that on my heirs."

As someone else has already pointed out, no one knows what the only child (who has been very thoughtfully provided with siblings by their only child parent) would want.

There is nothing to say that the only child who has been very thoughtfully provided with siblings by their only child parent, won;t go on to have a totally dysfunctional realtionship with their sibling(s) could also blight their life.

I wholeheartedly agree with the position that you can only make a choice about how many children you have based on your own needs and wishes.

I have one child and she doesn't ever express a desire to have a sibling. The other day, though, we had a girl round to play who had 2 sisters. She said to dd that she must get lonely and she felt sad for her.

I nearly cried...

I have never felt that for her.

The girl in question is constantly griping about her sisters and has a tough time of it at home in some ways, but clearly she still feels it's worth having siblings.

I didn't choose to have one child. I had 4 miscarriages around her and would have dearly liked more kids because I came from a big family and that's what I relate to best.

Having one, though, has logistically worked for me. Just not sure it's pressed all the buttons in could have iykwim.

Squilly of course having one child won't have "pressed all the buttons it could have" for you because it's not what you wanted!

In the same way, as a person who only ever wanted one child, ending up with more than that wouldn't have pressed many buttons for me I'm sure!!