AITA for keeping my baby off full nursery menu?

[novamama]

Dear Parents,

Nursery keeps pressuring me for moving my 10mo old onto the full nursery menu. Currently baby is still on "weaning" menu meaning 2 vegetables + 1 fruit / meal, two meals a day.

I'm reluctant to do so because they use salty and what I regard as highly processed foods that I'm in no hurry feed my baby to eat on a daily basis yet. Examples from menu are: Mac and cheese (cheddar) ; sandwich with ham and cheddar; bread with soft cheese; tuna and mayo jacket potato.

Baby's not even had cheddar cheese yet at home due to the high sodium levels; neither ham, neither mayonnaise.

We don't eat mac and cheese at home, and honestly I'd much rather my infant to stay on vegetables for the few days a week she's in nursery for.

It really feels like I'm the absolute alien for this choice, and they keep pressuring me.

Just veg and fruit is not meeting her nutritionally requirements. If you don’t want her to eat nursery food then you need to find childcare which is happy for her to have food provided from home.

Nursery food is usually all made on site with very little salt, why do you think it will be extra salty?

The examples you've given seem to be more snacky, what are the main meals (spag bol? Curry? Etc)

if your baby is weaning happily then it seems a bit daft to keep them on purées (it sounds like that’s what you mean)

I'm sure that the nursery has plenty of experience in feeding babies, OP.

I'm afraid you're running the risk of being labelled that parent.

Let your baby eat what the rest of them are eating. It's easier for the staff.

I would just follow the nurseries advice tbh, sounds like they’ve got the right idea.

To me, a couple of portions of puree veg a day isn’t enough for a baby of that age. If you’re not happy with the food offered at your nursery then keeping her on the weaning menu when it is no longer age appropriate, isn’t the solution. I think you need to find alternative childcare where you can send in your own food, if that isn’t an option here. Because the food you have described sounds very typical for a nursery kitchen. It’s your prerogative to decline it for your child (though many will say it’s absolutely fine, but that’s not the point) but you can’t just….not feed her!! She needs something else with carbs and protein! The nursery are concerned for her wellbeing, of course they are pressuring you. They’re probably very uncomfortable about being asked to underfeed an infant.

Its been a long time since my children were at nursery but even then all the food was home cooked there, I'm surprised that nowadays nurseries arent providing proper nutritional meals

I don't think you can expect them to have a special arrangement for one parents preference

One of the best things about nursery is that children start eating a wide variety of foods. Why wouldn't you want to encourage that?

I would check out the Start for Life website for food recommendations by age. Babies need a lot of iron, for example, which is hard to get from just fruit and veg.

What they're suggesting sounds normal for a baby that age. You don't have to avoid all salt, for example, just be mindful. A 25g serving of cheese is about a fifth of the limit for a baby, so not a problem at all.

Poor thing is probably trying to snatch the other kids cheese sarnies at lunch time!

Come on OP, it's perfectly fine for your baby to have a little bit of cheese. It's not crack!

That all sounds like completely normal food for kids to be eating.

Kids need fat to be able to grow, cheddar isn’t even particularly salty is it, some ham can be salty but it’s not like they’re going to feeding her a whole ham hock, it’s a slice.

Over my dead body would I have allowed my 10 month old to be fed ham so YANBU.

I'm surprised they are giving them ham but everything else is fine.

The thing is, the staff are the ones with your child. Perhaps she's looking longingly at the macaroni or maybe she's upset later and they think she's hungry.

I was really keen to introduce my dc to a wide variety of foods when they were babies as in my head it made sense that they wouldn't be fussy eaters if they ate all different things. My own family is very multi cultural so being exposed to macaroni and cheese at nursery when they would not have it at home would have been a positive for me.

How is your baby getting protein? Would they allow you to send food in for her?

Based on this you could say that primary school caterers know how to provide nutritious and healthy food for kids

but they don’t.

cheddar is salty.

ham often contains sulphites which are bad for you.

white bread is highly processed.

it’s reasonable to be cautious about these

What is she eating at home for dinner OP?

A 10 month old needs more than just fruit and vegetables. I would personally let her eat what nursery provide so she gets used to a wider variety of foods, but if you are really not comfortable with this maybe look at alternatives childcare provision.

Nurseries and schools often feed babies and children terrible food. Full of preservatives and not made from fresh.
i think it’s a perfectly reasonable suggestion to stay away from processed cheese and ham at this age.
So many schools have sugar laden starchy foods that are so bad for us. Just make sure she has protein at home

I used to work for a wholesaler who sold food to lots of nurseries. Surprisingly, the youngsters loved mild lentil curry with garlic, no salt, just good wholesome food. Most of them never used cheese or dairy, but the kids loved the food.

Loads of the nurseries around us use a company called Zebedees who provide all the food. It's really varied, lots of extra fruit and veg alongside and I have no complaints but I imagine it's so they don't have to employ a dedicated cook anymore.

Have you spoken to them about the ingredients in their food? Our nursery provides LOADS of home-made cakes, for example... that have next to no sugar in them. Do they use dates? Raisins? Unrefined cane sugar?

Also, how many meals a day is your child having there? Can you not just make sure that you have low sugar/sodium/preservative meals at home?

And, gently, how's your relationship with food? Do you have any orthorexic tendencies? Because I bought low salt and sugar stuff for my children, but never worried as much as you do, especially for one meal a day - and, with one with a severe wheat allergy, I'm just glad if she finds edible bread that doesn't make her need her EpiPen, tbh.

The salt and sugar levels in nursery food are always monitored and I think they must be nutritionally balanced. The Mac and cheese will be low salt low fat cheese, no added salt, low fat milk. If you don't want ham and mayo you could say the child is vegetarian or even vegan. But they need some protein and filling carbs as they will be burning loads of energy.
I'm presuming they won't allow a packed lunch from home?

Cheddar is full of calcium required for growing bones and fat that is necessary for growing brains

I agree to a point about the ham but it's the dose that makes the poison and a small amount won't harm

White bread is fortified with iron, calcium and b vitamins.

Can we try not to demonise any foods. Balance is key and I'm sure the nursery has had input from a nutritionist but even if not I'm sure the parents feed healthy when baby is home with them

My baby has several allergies so is under dietician. Under their advice my baby was having baked beans, ham and tuna at 9 months.

I'm afraid you're being very precious. A tiny bit of salt isn't going to kill them. Look at the actual amount of sodium recommended, it really is fine.

Ham fair enough, say your vegetarian? Baffled why someone would have an issue with cheese though!