AITA for keeping my baby off full nursery menu?

[novamama]

Dear Parents,

Nursery keeps pressuring me for moving my 10mo old onto the full nursery menu. Currently baby is still on "weaning" menu meaning 2 vegetables + 1 fruit / meal, two meals a day.

I'm reluctant to do so because they use salty and what I regard as highly processed foods that I'm in no hurry feed my baby to eat on a daily basis yet. Examples from menu are: Mac and cheese (cheddar) ; sandwich with ham and cheddar; bread with soft cheese; tuna and mayo jacket potato.

Baby's not even had cheddar cheese yet at home due to the high sodium levels; neither ham, neither mayonnaise.

We don't eat mac and cheese at home, and honestly I'd much rather my infant to stay on vegetables for the few days a week she's in nursery for.

It really feels like I'm the absolute alien for this choice, and they keep pressuring me.

It will be low salt cheese but I'd sure hope it's full fat milk and cheese. Babies need the fat. As part of my babies diet because can't have dairy one of the focus is on replacing the fats you can't get from oat milk you do from cows milk.

Avocado, nut butters, oils. Babies need fat. You're also advised after brain injury to have more fat in your diet as that's what your brain needs.

@FlyingHighFlyingLow yes, actually you're right. Just fruit and veg alone isn't enough. But I would assume it has to be balanced for Ofsted etc. so think OP should be a bit more trusting of it.
If she doesn't trust them on that then it's better to switch provider.

Yes YABU. A full day on 2 veg 1 fruit is not enough for a 10 month old.

Agreed and most nurseries consult pedoatric nutritionists for their menu.

Feeding your kid purée at that age isn’t age appropriate.

The nursery menu is ideal for helping your baby try new foods. It sounds like at the moment what you are offering is very limited and may make it more tricky for them to eat a varied diet in the long term.

What's the plan though?
All 3 of mine ate everything put in front of them at 10 months. My youngest in particular. She ate brilliantly at nursery
I agree about processed pork, and I think you are quite right to say no to that ( I wasn't aware until recently) but my experience of nursery food is that it exposes them to a wide variety of foods. Ours always did a 3 week menu.
You need to decide what you will allow as its a bit questionable at 10 months, they won't wear it for much longer though!

To add your baby is too old for purées now.

I agree with this. I think these foods are crappy to be honest! Ok it’s not McDonald’s but there’s definitely better options for kids than these. I hate this culture of ‘kids’ food in the UK. All of these things are processed and mediocre at best. And I’d expect better from a nursery. Can you send her in with proper lunch yourself? She needs more than just fruit and veg but agree ham/bread isn’t the answer.

If they resist I’d find childcare with better food options. Surely they’d have informed you of the sort of menu before you signed up?

What do you feed her?

No not most nurseries. Most nurseries due to ofsted and safeguarding have to follow a dietary menu suitable for age appropriate menus. This included low salt, fresh and not processed.

8+ nurseries in our town all
do fresh, homemade each day in the nursery kitchen age appropriate healthy meals
for example

The OP is worried about not feeding her kid the right stuff but is depriving the kid of protein and fats which is absolutely needed.

Sometimes the experts do know best.

Your 10 month old is probably really really hungry just on that. It sounds like basic nursery food and there's no real problem with it.

That being said, you would be able to find a nursery with a better menu - ours does quite extravagant stuff and it seems healthy and full of veg and goodness.

You are being utterly ridiculous 🤷‍♀️

I would imagine if you continue to insist they will ask you to leave to be honest. It's not fair or healthy for your child to only eat vegetables and puree food in the time she is at the nursery, poor thing is probably miserable most of the day as she's so hungry.

What are you feeding her at home as she needs more than purées.

I suspect this will be one of those threads where the OP doesn’t return, however in case I’m wrong, I’ll bite. Please tell us what your baby eats OP as surely it’s not just fruit and veg?! At 10 months old the poor child will be starving!

YABU

humans need fat & protein, particularly when they’re growing. Whilst ham and cheese might be a bit salty & there might be better choices (oily fish, egg, chicken etc) it will certainly be better than your suggestion of just purred fruit & verge. maybe you should speak to a dietician if you want professional reassurance

Kindly, yes, YATA/YABU

Maybe move her to full menu but specify no pork?

NHS website states 1g of salt per day limit for under 1 yo.

Mature cheddar had 1.8g of salt per 100g of cheese. Considering baby portion sizes its really not going to be more than like 5g, not the 50g it would take to be at the limit. 5g of cheese also has about 40mg of calcium in it, out of the 260mg they need daily. And fats! Which are super important for their developing brains.

A slice of ham 0.3g of salt - again in a baby sized sandwich there will not even be a full slice in there. But it will have protein significantly lacking in the fruit and veg puree.

Bread may be processed but it's fortified. Hovis best of both has a lot of calcium in it. Often iron etc too.

Agree with others, a couple portions of veg a day isn’t enough for her nutritionally. Also why all puree?

It’s a few days a week. Relax and let her have some proper food.

Nursery’s generally make meals from scratch onsite so usually don’t add things like salt to meals. It’s completely normal for one of the meals each day to be things like sandwiches, jacket potatoes, etc and then they have a ‘homemade’ cooked meal usually. Generally these meals will be batch cooked (with the exception of allergies) so by having such a restrictive diet for you child you are asking them to make a separate meal with limited time and resources. You probably need to consider a child minder who has less children and can accommodate the restrictions easier.s

Also a couple of portions of veg each day is unlikely to contain enough nutrients and a well balanced meal for your child. It will become harder to introduce new foods a the child become older.

You're going to struggle at school and parties...

Unclench and let them feed your child some proper food.

I followed baby led weaning with all of mine which meant giving them proper food from the get go at 6 months. Personally it sounds like you’re being a bit precious but if you can’t budge then probably an idea to find a childminder who will ask you to supply your own food.

introducing flavours and spices (and allergens) from a young age is generally considered a good thing (unless allergies in the family) to help a baby develop a love of interesting food

Aye they do, I worked at a nursery that had an in site chef and worked with a nutritionist to make their menu.

I helped unpack the shopping and saw all the processed crap they were feeding the children, nothing was created in the kitchen it was just warmed and plated up. Asda basic range quiches with a ridiculously high salt content for weaning babies.

The menu looked amazing, the food itself was crap.