AITA for keeping my baby off full nursery menu?

[novamama]

Dear Parents,

Nursery keeps pressuring me for moving my 10mo old onto the full nursery menu. Currently baby is still on "weaning" menu meaning 2 vegetables + 1 fruit / meal, two meals a day.

I'm reluctant to do so because they use salty and what I regard as highly processed foods that I'm in no hurry feed my baby to eat on a daily basis yet. Examples from menu are: Mac and cheese (cheddar) ; sandwich with ham and cheddar; bread with soft cheese; tuna and mayo jacket potato.

Baby's not even had cheddar cheese yet at home due to the high sodium levels; neither ham, neither mayonnaise.

We don't eat mac and cheese at home, and honestly I'd much rather my infant to stay on vegetables for the few days a week she's in nursery for.

It really feels like I'm the absolute alien for this choice, and they keep pressuring me.

Salmon stir fry, roast veg with quinoa and chicken/beef, Spanish omelette and salad, cottage pie, these are all super quick and easy things to make every day! We’ve always cooked from scratch every night, even pre covid when we didn’t get home till after 6pm every day. Batch cooking, soups, stews, homemade pastry, it doesn’t have to be boring!

Cottage Pie is not quick to make! Nor is roast veg!

The thing is it's about everything in moderation. Most of meals are cooked from scratch using healthy ingredients but I use frozen veg a lot as it's just as healthy as fresh (sometimes even more so) and I don't remain convinced on the benefits of organic food for how much more expensive it is. But I'll also use a little dish/annabel karmel meal once or twice a month if I'm exhausted or we're having something different, baked beans and things like white bread, chicken nuggets etc as well and I'm fairly confident and happy in my choices. There's a big difference in a diet full of processed and unhealthy food and using these occasionally to make life easier and less stressful and this.

Too many people go the other way and children end up feeling excluded and ostracised because parents have forbidden any sort of sugar and unprocessed food. There's a poster on here talking about "reluctantly" letting their child have cake at a birthday party. Imagine being the child at a party not allowed the food and cake everyone else is allowed? Or being the odd one out with a packed lunch while everyone else eats school meals?

Food to me isn't solely about nutrition, its about socialisation and the joy and fun eating with others. I can't imagine there's anything fun for kids feelings left or excluded with what everyone else is eating for the sake of one meal. Having feelings of guilt or shame around food isn't healthy either. If my child goes to a party or there's dessert at nursery everyone else is enjoying, I want them to enjoy it too like everyone else and not feel isolated because they are not allowed or guilty if they have some cake or processed food. If the rest of their diet is healthy, I can't see the harm in the occasional processed or sugary food.

I explained what is possible and answered someone’s questions. I don’t know why you are so defensive about this. It’s common for people in rural areas too buy meat in this way.

@ThisIcyHare

cottage Pie isn’t that easy and quick, come off it! And some people don’t get in from work until past 7, or past 8pm or even later…

It depends on the veg?

Courgettes, mushrooms, onions all roast quite nicely in 15-20 mins or faster in an air fryer

I have gone through phases of being home from work at 7/8pm and still thrown something together - it's not a virtue thing for me, I just prefer home cooked food.

Cottage pie, I agree isn't a quick meal.

@kiraric

yeah but you have to wash the veg, peel it, chop it etc so it’s not that quick

What sort of thing do you eat?

I think of anything under 30 mins as quick. I really don't mind chopping some veg, roasting it and doing some couscous.

My 9 month old has been eating cheese from weaning.

Wow. Just wow. I realize this post is a couple of months old but I had to comment as I feel like I inadvertently entered another dimension. I'm baffled by the number of people who are okay with babies eating deep-fried processed foods regularly at nursery. All the exemples OP gave from the menu are bland, starch, or fried foods with a bit of protein on the side. No vegetable in sight. While only vegetable may not be enough, there should be 1-2 (ideally more) at every single meal.

I think nursery is pushing that diet on OP because, yeah, mac and cheese is easier to store, prepare and feed to children. They're basically making their lives easier at the expense of children's health.

And people tell the OP that she's being "particular" about food ! That she should be happy her child gets to eat a "wide range" of foods ?!!! What range exactly, if they're eating beige food all week long ?

Op, I don't know what you ended up doing, but if I were you I'd either change for another nursery, or insist your child stays on the current diet and just give him bigger meals at home to compensate.

How are you fulfilling their iron requirements?

at 10 months your child should’ve moved on to solid 3 meals a day, she’s only 2 months away from 1 years old. my 3 year old was eating steak at that age.

The nursery my dd at has fish for lunch on a Friday. Sometimes that is fish goujons or fish cakes (or just fish) but they’re not ultra processed- they’re made by the chef. The mac and cheese is low salt and doesn’t contain as much cheese as you’d use at home. I used to work there too so I saw everything being cooked in the kitchen.