AITA for keeping my baby off full nursery menu?

[novamama]

Dear Parents,

Nursery keeps pressuring me for moving my 10mo old onto the full nursery menu. Currently baby is still on "weaning" menu meaning 2 vegetables + 1 fruit / meal, two meals a day.

I'm reluctant to do so because they use salty and what I regard as highly processed foods that I'm in no hurry feed my baby to eat on a daily basis yet. Examples from menu are: Mac and cheese (cheddar) ; sandwich with ham and cheddar; bread with soft cheese; tuna and mayo jacket potato.

Baby's not even had cheddar cheese yet at home due to the high sodium levels; neither ham, neither mayonnaise.

We don't eat mac and cheese at home, and honestly I'd much rather my infant to stay on vegetables for the few days a week she's in nursery for.

It really feels like I'm the absolute alien for this choice, and they keep pressuring me.

Uh huh

Bet your kids hit the macdonalds nuggets hard at the first opportunity they get. Every kid I've ever known with health food obsessed parents mainlines fast food the moment they get a bit of independence.

You would be far better teaching that processed food isn't great but OK on occasions.

For what it's worth I'm also an intelligent mum who makes my own bread and honey roast ham from scratch. It's bloody delicious but my kids still eat crap ham at the childminders and parties on occasion because it's just not worth the angst.

No wonder we have a generation anxious kids if their parents are telling them a bit of wafer thin is akin to cyanide.

processed meat is one thing but it sounds like she’s avoiding giving her 10 month old many foods which a baby that age should be getting

Omg the ham brigade on here are out in force. It's not every day! It's very likely to be once a month, as I imagine the nursery has a rolling menu. The portion will also be small. Wait til the parties start, which at nursery will be really soon!
Both my DDs started nursery at ten months and had the occasional bit of ham. Any harm done? None whatsoever.

Ffs, it's a bit of ham and cheese, not heroin

I think you'll find that ham is a known gateway drug.

Ham then tequila then crack ....

It’s far better than my nursery, give hand out processed croissants, homemade cupcakes and carrot cake as snacks!
Honey on tap at breakfast too with weetabix.

The audacity of me to complain too.

Yep. It’ll be chicken nuggets and sausage rolls next.

The ignorance on this thread is astounding. Google!

The World Health Organization has classified processed meats including ham, bacon, salami and frankfurts as a Group 1 carcinogen (known to cause cancer) which means that there’s strong evidence that processed meats cause cancer.

In fairness to the OP I was told to avoid cheddar as it is particularly salty. My 10 month old gets it a few times a week though (poor third child getting neglected!). I wouldn't be happy with ham unless it's the nitrate-free stuff.

I can understand your issue with the menu, but personally I would change nurseries.
You can't restrict your child's food intake, they need more than weaning veg. And it doesn't get better as they grow, they will just get used to the processed food whether you start at 10 months or 2 year old.

That may be true, @Challas, but how will you police your children not eating those as they get older, especially when you leave them at parties?

Ahhh you're getting a roasting but I was the same with my first.

They say food is just for fun up to one but one of my kids was ravenous from 6 months - and permanently attached to my boob before then, so I think that saying is more for those that aren't hungry and emphasising milk is still important.

There definitely comes a point where you need to park this for everyone's sake - the beige buffet most certainly has its place.

Send your LO in with a packed lunch.
The weaning menu is just a stepping stone, so it's either accept theirs/ provide your own/ or at an extreme level change childcare provider

They say food is just for fun up to one

That advice was changed a bit ago as some people were taking it a bit too literally.

Now the advice is food along with 13.5 Floz of formula a day or BFs. Baby should be having a full range of foods, just avoiding these oness*.

Omg the ham brigade on here are out in force

tbf, most of the rather extreme views are coming from one poster who made many, many posts in a row on the previous page. Not lots of different people.

Clearly "everyone" doesn't think that.

Have you not read the thread ?

As a pp said, we aren't talking mainlining packs of ham, we are talking about it being included as part of one meal.

At parties she eats whatever she wants. At weekends she can have treats if we go out I.e croissants, slice of cake. I’m not against occasional treats, but I don’t want my children eating processed junk as one of their main meals every day.

Some veg and fruit a day is not enough food for an almost 1 year old.

Ahh, OP, you’re getting a pasting on here but I really do empathise.

I have struggled a bit in my battles over food with my children. I’m a hospital doctor and, although by no means a specialist in nutrition, I see every day the effect that poor diet and lifestyle choices can have.

Perhaps as a result, I suppose I have been quite strict in what I will feed my children. I’m not an amazing cook, but everything I give them is homemade and balanced. They never had any processed or packaged snacks, no processed meat, no cake or chocolate or sweets. I just don’t think it’s necessary, especially in very young children.

When my eldest was two, I gradually (and kind of painfully) made the effort to “loosen up” and allow them to share a piece of cake occasionally when we went out, and to join in at parties. Because I know that anything that they realise is “banned” will become more appealing, and I don’t want to cause disordered eating.

The older they get, the more I realise how pervasive poor dietary choices are. Why are menus for children almost always made up of beige food? What’s wrong with a smaller, less salty version of salmon and veg or a curry?

My younger two go to a different nursery than my eldest as we moved house, and I struggled with the food - I think they had cake for pudding on day one, aged 13 months. I loved everything else about the setting and I realise that I can’t ask them to separate my children and feed them lentils, so I’ve decided to reluctantly go along with it, and maintain my usual efforts at home.

I think people are conflating billy bear ham slices with cooked on the bone organic ham

@Lifecanbebeautiful12 did the poster say processed junk was every day? I can't see that mentioned.

OP you're making a decision for your DC because you think it's a better choice nutritionally, but it isn't. At ten months a baby needs far more than a bit of fruit and veg.

Our nursery's food is made from scratch, sauces loaded with blended veg, fruit after every meal. Yes there's the odd ham sandwich (with veg soup), but also lots of Bolognese, curries, stroganoff, fish, roast dinner. Lots of nutrition, lots of variety. Most nurseries are the same.

They say food is just for fun up to one.

I hate this phrase, it causes so much misunderstanding.

I think you'll find that ham is a known gateway drug.

Stop it, or Big Ham will come for you!

"Food is just for fun up to one" is similar to the "Don't give baby any salt".

It's short catchy phrases to convey a message taken to literally. From my convo with the dietician they said really a little salt is fine, it's more targeted at parents saying don't give them takeaways and McDonald's for all meals.

The food is fun is more to keep parents giving kids milk and to stop them being too scared when kids are picky or go through teething phases when they only want milk.