Very bad first session at nursery

[Becsmatestr]

My little girl, 9 months, EBF and only ever been with us (we can't trust that family will respect our parenting style - gentle, and very much push boundaries, even in front of us). She only settles for contact naps with me, not even my wife (she has two mummies). She cosleeps with us both. She was premature and spent time in NICU and SCBU. She then had sepsis. We've been very protective. I've opted to start her settling in at nursery a lot earlier than me going back to work. Today was horrid. We've never seen her so beside herself. Panting and shaking while crying, snot all over her face.. the nursery rang us, they'd tried everything. The nursery nurse was still holding her when we got back to pick her up. How on earth do we make this transition work? Please, please help. Or, if anyone wants to give me the winning lottery numbers so we can stay home and look after our princess, I'd also accept that 😅
From a very, very sad mama x

Try not to worry. It is horrible but she will settle. My DD went to nursery at 11m and hated it to start with. Screamed at drop off and pick up and there were days when they did call me to collect her early as she wouldn't settle. But over time she did. Then COVID hit and nursery closed for months and we had to go through the whole process again. But again, she did settle in. If you have no choice you just have to stick with it.

Just my experience - my baby was a lockdown baby. I had left her with my partner I think twice, and another person once for an hour at 5 months old. Exclusively BF, contact napped, co-slept. I had pre and post natal anxiety as they were born following a late loss. I was so worried about them settling in childcare because of all this. We actually chose a childminder (larger setting though as they have an assistant) and within 2 weeks of starting they were sleeping independently in the pram for naps, and went in without any tears. After a couple of months we got to the point where when I collected them they wouldn't even want to leave as they loved it so much.

9 months is a tough age for separation anxiety, and it may well be in 6 weeks this isn't such an issue for her. I think your gentle approach is good. It shows her that you're completely comfortable with the care givers and trust them so she will learn to do so too.