Do toddlers really *need* nursery?

[Pondering89]

I have recently returned to work part time and I consider myself lucky that grandparents have offered to babysit, negating my need for private childcare.

To my surprise, when I’ve explained this to colleagues, I’ve been met with confused faces and talk about how kids need nursery, then I am recanted with tales about how their own DC have come on leaps and bounds at nursery.

Prior to these conversations, I haven’t had a doubt in my mind that my DDs needs are being met. She loves the time with her grandparents and I take her to a couple of toddler groups that give her opportunities to socialise. So, do I really to be shelling out £400 a month in nursery fees?!

Personally I think they should be doing a couple of mornings before they start school, maybe for 12 months before.

None of my children went to nursery yes everyone found it extremely odd.

Everyone is different. And you'll know best as their mother.

I don't think toddlers need nursery and mine won't be going until she's 3. For now we go to toddler groups which as far as I can see are basically nursery but with me there!

A toddler no, a preschooler yes imo but not full time

No, they don't need nursery.

My DC didn’t go to nursery until they were 3 and a half. They only went then as the nursery fed into the infant school and I wanted to make sure they got places. They had play dates and I did lots of stuff with them - cooking, painting, counting, building etc. I had all my GC for a day a week (in turn) and my son said they learnt more with me than they did at nursery. My sisters and I didn’t go to nursery at all and started school at 5 able to read and we had no problem socialising. The idea of all children going to nursery has arisen because both parents need to go to work.

What age? O think the preschool year can be quite beneficial.

Younger than three... it can be fun. They can learn a lot. But they can also have fun and learn a lot with family. As long as they ate getting out and about, seeing other children, being active etc.

No, they don't need nursery, but they do need plenty of stimulation and interaction, and some contact with other children - and for some children nursery is the only way for them to get those things. If your DD is getting a good range of social experiences then she doesn't need to go to nursery.

My colleague puts her son to her mum's 4 days a week. I feel sorry for the wee boy. Spending day after day with an elderly, no socialising with kids his age or playing fun stuff through the day. My children flourished at nursery and I'm glad they go! I wouldn't put our children to grandparents 100% of the time as the children really do benefit from nursery setting

My 3 only went to the nursery attached to the school. They started in the school year that they turned 4.

They didn't go to any groups as toddlers and settled in great at nursery/school.

Not a popular view on here but I do think nursery is good for children from about 18 months - 2.

Babies definitely don't NEED nursery - many parents NEED their children to settle into nursery, but that's not the same.

I was a SAHM with both my kids until they were 3, they both went to preschool before school when I returned to work PT, then they both settled in well to school.

Each family does what they need, there should be no judgment (not from you OP, but these other women).

Don't need it but it's beneficial for the year before school starts, 15 hours per week preschool perhaps

I think if parents (mothers?) need nursery for work or their own mental health then yes. Otwrwise no.

No! Mine went at 2 for a couple of mornings it was Covid and there was nothing else open or available. In hindsight it only benefited me not her and I wouldn’t have done it in normal circumstances. At 3 she got more out of nursery and was really participating.

Mine went to pre-school (morning sessions) once they turned 3. Then started school at 5. They were fine socially.

No of course they do not. Preschool can help prepare them for reception and if it is local they will make some friends before they start school but they will just as easily make friends when they start school. It is good to meet friends their age but you can achieve that with a mother and toddler group or hanging out with friends children or cousins.

It depends what they'd be doing with the grandparents, also how good the nursery is.

A good nursery is definitely better than being stuck in front of the TV all day. If the grandparents are active and engaged and nursery options aren't great then it might be the other way around.

I wouldn't bother until they can have the free hours

God, absolutely not! They are better with their primary care provider. Nursery benefits parents, not children.

Thank you for the replies, I was starting to doubt myself. I should of mentioned, she is only 1 so a long way off school. I have to admit I did find my colleagues responses strange, as if I was on the path to raising a social oddity😅.

Nursery teacher here, I think the 15/30hours for 3 year olds has huge benefits but before that… go with your gut as a parent. Mine were at home with me or with a childminder (home from home type). I don’t believe 2 year olds NEED nursery but also don’t think it does them any harm if that’s what parents decide or suit their circumstances. It’s a personal decision to you and your child.

Did she actually say her Mom does nothing with him all day?

I LOVE nursery, ours has been brilliant for both our girls and I have zero regrets over sending them. But of course toddlers don't NEED it. I do think it's pretty important for preschoolers though. How far out from school is your DC?