Do toddlers really *need* nursery?

[Pondering89]

I have recently returned to work part time and I consider myself lucky that grandparents have offered to babysit, negating my need for private childcare.

To my surprise, when I’ve explained this to colleagues, I’ve been met with confused faces and talk about how kids need nursery, then I am recanted with tales about how their own DC have come on leaps and bounds at nursery.

Prior to these conversations, I haven’t had a doubt in my mind that my DDs needs are being met. She loves the time with her grandparents and I take her to a couple of toddler groups that give her opportunities to socialise. So, do I really to be shelling out £400 a month in nursery fees?!

I don't think they need it. I think preschool is good a couple of mornings a week before they start Reception, but there's no point doing nursery just for the sake of it. I assume you have a good network and will be able to let the baby spend time with plenty of other people, so socialising won't be a problem.

Many grandparents these days are not even that elderly. My daughter stayed with my mum most days from 9 months until the age of 3 (when she started nursery). She used to go on park visits, one o clock clubs, stay and play, and toddler groups as part of her day with Granny, or sometimes they would stay home and potter around the garden or play games. I also knew my mum would treat her with a level of love and care that was the equivalence of mine. I didn't have to rush and collect her and she had always had dinner by the time I collected her. So I don't see how staying with grandparents will necessarily limit a child's ability to learn (if the grandparent is active)

I'm debating whether to send my Son, he turned 3 last week, to nursery in September or sign him up for Easter 2026. Did you find it was easier to let them go closer to 4 years old? I want him to have exposure to a preschool environment, but I don't know if I should send him now or when he's nearly 4. He doesn't start school officially until September 2027.

I think it’s beneficial if they’re going to mainstream school and need to get used to the structure. It’s also good for socialisation, arguably more so than toddler groups. I didn’t need to send mine at that age as I worked part time and grandparents helped out but I paid for a day a week just to mix it up a bit. I feel they got a lot out of it personally but everyone is different.

No they don’t. They do need socialisation and to start to learn to be independent-but they don’t need nursery for that.

Sorry if I'm missing something: if he's 3 now, won't he go to school in September 2026? (Unless you're planning to delay him)

We went for a tour of a nursery earlier in the week, and the teacher said he should be starting school the September after he turns 5. Is this wrong?

@SACA86 assuming you're in England, the standard time to start school is the September after the child's 4th birthday.

If they are born in the summer (which it sounds like your child is) then you can delay starting until "compulsory school age" which is the September after their 5th birthday BUT they would automatically go into year 1 rather than reception unless you make a special request for them to go into reception. (Most, but not all, schools, will accept this request, but it will probably be a big faff and involve a lot of emails!)