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Original poster

Male Carers at Nursery

289 replies

alison39 · 22/03/2011 22:59

Has anyone any experience of a male carer at nursery looking after their daughter? One has just started at my daughter's nursery and whilst i am absolutely fine with this, I am a little concerned about their policies over bathroom assistance, and the fact that he will be allowed to take girls to the toilet on his own, is this usual??? Would appreciate any thoughts, experience or comments.

Thanks

OP posts:
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bemybebe · 23/03/2011 23:17

sorry, could not resist Wink

StewieGriffinsMom · 23/03/2011 23:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BooyHoo · 23/03/2011 23:20

i really really cant fathom how people can still hold this totally illogical prejudices.

are your male family members offended by the fact that simply because of their sex you trust them less with your DD's than their female counterparts?

LouLouS · 23/03/2011 23:24

My husband also finds it too uncomfortable the thought of another man wiping our daughter's privates. To me that is more intimate because he has to touch her privates. A boy doesn't necessarily have his penis wiped. And this is my husband saying this. That obviously means he is sexist against men too.

Nothing against men looking after kids in general just not touching our daughters when toileting. Simple!

LouLouS · 23/03/2011 23:26

I choose to use the word privates, just like you choose to use the word vagina/vulva, penis. Grammer lesson is this? lol

BooyHoo · 23/03/2011 23:27

men can be sexist against men as much as women can be sexist against women. that isn't a new concept as far as i am aware.

"Nothing against men looking after kids in general just not touching our daughters when toileting. Simple!"

have you got any problem with male children having their genitals cleaned by female carers?

StewieGriffinsMom · 23/03/2011 23:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

kat2504 · 23/03/2011 23:29

Vocabulary in fact, not grammar.

BaroqueAroundTheClock · 23/03/2011 23:29

well you don't have to wipe a small child's penis..............but (don't forget I have 3 boys) ime they're not very good at the "shaking all the drops of" so do need to wipe (DS1 has just about got it now and DS2 is getting there...........DS3 - not a chance). Of course your DH doesn't have to wipe - as he's an adult that's learned to "shake dry". Young boys just don't get that at all.

And believe me......if they're still in nappies - well if they poo you WILL have to touch the penis, and if it's a big squelchy poo you'll have to get right down in among the testicles, and around the foreskin, and lift it up and give it a good ol scrub - it gets everywhere!

BooyHoo · 23/03/2011 23:31

agree baroque. my ds is a master at squelchy poos.

LouLouS · 23/03/2011 23:33

Maybe I need to repeat myself, I HAVE A PROBLEM WITH MEN TOUCHING MY DAUGHTERS PRIVATES WHEN USING THE TOILET. Maybe if I had a son I might be able to answer your question. Who cares about male children having their genitals cleaned. I am talking about how I feel having, thats right, my daughters touched by men.

BaroqueAroundTheClock · 23/03/2011 23:34

I don't think I'd ever rummaged around a males genitals as much as I have since having children Grin. It's been quite revealing just how many little cracks and bits for poo to get into there are.

LouLouS · 23/03/2011 23:34

Yes I know how to spell 'Grammar' that was a typing error. Just like possibly the other typing errors on here. Typical

BaroqueAroundTheClock · 23/03/2011 23:35

well we're talking about carers of the opposite gender looking after our child and helping them use the toilet. So I think that boy/woman, girl/male is all equally relevant.

BooyHoo · 23/03/2011 23:37

LoulouS how do you plan to keep your prejudices from your daughters? i mean, you couldn't possibly intend to pass on to them the message that no men except daddy are to be trusted?

exhausted2011 · 23/03/2011 23:40

OP, I can't believe that you can't see that your thinking is wrong.
He is a carer, what is the difference between a girls bottom and a boys bottom? He is wiping them.
BooyHoo puts it well.

LouLouS · 23/03/2011 23:40

''well we're talking about carers of the opposite gender looking after our child and helping them use the toilet. So I think that boy/woman, girl/male is all equally relevant.''

Yes, and I gave my view and how I feel of having a man (opposite sex) helping my daughter use the toilet. hmmmm

exhausted2011 · 23/03/2011 23:41

by taking this view you are automatically assuming that male carers are sexualising this process. That is so wrong.

iggi999 · 23/03/2011 23:42

There are two men working in my DS's nursery. It's one of the things that made me choose it. My DS loves it too. Why place needless barriers in the way of men wanting to work in childcare?

kat2504 · 23/03/2011 23:45

No you don't need to repeat yourself and you certainly don't need the capital letters, it does not enhance your argument.
For what it's worth, I expect that when the child is out of nappies and using the toilet, they ought to be encouraged to learn to wipe themselves. Carers are only performing this function out of necessity. Yes, there comes an age where the child would not feel comfortable about it, but then by that point they probably wouldn't want someone of the same gender doing it either.
Before that point they do not have that concept in their head.
Nurseries and schools take child safeguarding very seriously. You need an enhanced police check to be able to change nappies etc.

Tragically some children are abused at nurseries but this is, fortunately, rare, and would not have been prevented by implementing outdated and discriminatory working practices. I for one would not like to be the woman who had to do all the dirty jobs because that is womens work while the male carers got to do all the play all day long.
When a child gets to an age to request going to the toilet without assistance they should be respected in that. If a child requests that a different carer take them, I would expect that to be respected too.

BaroqueAroundTheClock · 23/03/2011 23:45

can you explain why you have a problem with it - is it, as exhausted says, because you are sexualising te process??

I haven't worked with small children ( wouldn't have the patience Grin) but I have wiped many an old person's arse and penis, and vagina. I can assure that there were absolutely no sexual thoughts entering my mind, even when I was faced with an erect one............liekwise it is extremely unlikely that any male nursery worker is going to be thinking any more than

"right just help little Sarah wipe her bottom, and then I need to go and check on the red group, and then it'll be snack time, and oh, little Millie needs the toilet now as well"

BooyHoo · 23/03/2011 23:47

"Why place needless barriers in the way of men wanting to work in childcare?"

i agree and i am actually quite shocked that the nursery in question have responded as they have. good luck to them ever getting more male applicants to work their if this is how they treat male staff. the poor guy. no-one deserves to be treated like that at work based purely on gender. i wouldn't accept it from my employer and if he was my friend i would be telling him that it was sexual discrimniation.

BaroqueAroundTheClock · 23/03/2011 23:49

maybe he's gay...........and some of the female nursery workers are lesbians.........fuck - that really screws it all up then doesn't it, I only want straight same sex as my child nursery workers helping them on the toilet

LouLouS · 23/03/2011 23:52

''LoulouS how do you plan to keep your prejudices from your daughters? i mean, you couldn't possibly intend to pass on to them the message that no men except daddy are to be trusted?''

A man helping my daughter, to use the toilet makes me feel uncomfortable, I can't help this. This doesn't imply that men are not to be trusted in general, where did I say 'men can't be trusted?'

exhausted2011 · 23/03/2011 23:52

Baroque- made me laugh!