Autistic boyfriend

[paradoxically2]

I'm hoping someone can help me understand something. If I offend, my apologies. I don't mean to stereotype or presume but I am in a bit of a quandary.
My BF is autistic. He is smart and funny and I do really love him. He has traits that I am led to believe are not unusual for people with autism. Doesn't reply to messages in a timely manner or at all. Doesn't do chit chat on messaging apps. I'm learning to be ok with these things. He explains that he doesn't know what to say or how to say or even that there was any reason to reply to some messages. Ok. I get it. But my question is, how do I know if something I send him was met with approval or if he thought it was yucky. He doesn't comment. I'm worried one day he will just suddenly say he's gone off me because of xyz but he never told me along the way.

Usually I identify one of more aspects of their behaviour as intolerable. Like walking really fast so I have to jog to keep up, or not apologising when making mistakes.

Usually what differentiates a lover from a friend is wanting to have sex.

May I ask what might be a really silly question? When is it masking and when is it 'disregard for someone else'?

My autistic bf is smart. He has a great memory. He is in no way intellectually impaired. So for example I find it challenging that he does not acknowledge my message in any way. I have asked why he doesn't just give me a thumbs up to indicate 'yep, I hear you or yep I have read the plan for this evening and I will be at the place you have suggested at the time you have suggested'.
I'm not sure how doing this thing would be masking. Surely everyone, autistic or not learns what their friends and partners want and can apply. For eg I have learned that my vegan friends don't want me to cook meat filled food. It is something I have to put effort into but as I have a memory and remember that they don't eat meat, I don't cook meat fur them. How is this different from him learning that for he ti know he has understood something he needs to acknowledge he has read and agree? Surely unmasking is nit the sane as 'doing whatever works for him and not adapting in any way for when the adaptation is a small thing?

Explain to him that phone messaging isn't a guaranteed service and just because you've sent a message, doesn't mean you know that his phone has received it or that he has read it. His network might be playing up, yours might be playing up, he might be seriously ill and not looking at his phone. If he hits the thumbs up or the eyeballs or whatever, you have certainty that he has seen it.

Autistic people often need to know why we are expected to do something. Once we understand why, the request makes sense.

And no, that's not masking. It's either him not understanding why you are asking for what is basically a manually-sent read receipt, or him not caring. If it's the former, the explanation should fix it. If it's the latter, he deserves to become single again.

@VitoCorleoneOfMNMafia cool. Great explanation. Thank you