So DONE with MN ablism / stereotyping

[AffIt]

I'll start:

Problem = X
Solution = "They must be autistic because..."

They don't like wet food
They don't like wearing socks
They shout when I'm in the bathroom
They cancelled a trip
They sometimes look to the left when I'm speaking to them

Please feel free to add your own 'FFS, really?' here.

What thread was that

It's been taken down. Someone posted that they took their nephew out for a meal and they won't ever do it again because he misbehaves by only wanting plain pasta and then leaving his food and asking for McDonald's.

Oh, that one, yes I read some of it. I have a plain pasta eater and was baffled as to why she couldn't just ask for plain pasta as that's what we do. I see it was a PBP though so I'm glad I did t comment.

Bumping this coz there’s another thread. And mumsnet are doing absolutely nothing about it.

The one about the holiday?

No I haven’t seen that one. The one I’m talking about is kids with dummies.

There’s also the CF thread about the table. We need to realise the world doesn’t revolve around us. And of course CF must be autistic.

Why can’t mumsnet see a goady nasty thread when it’s right in front of their faces?

I've just seen the table thread .

Personally, while I do have favourite seats in that kind of situation and will feel unreasonably upset if they are taken; my dread of even the most benign social interactions means there is zero chance of my mentioning it - I would probably go out of my way to make it appear that I didn't want to sit there by not even looking at the table once I saw it was occupied and making for the empty one furthest away.

But that is me.

Others might not give a shiny whatsit about which table they sit on!

(I was going to post that on the table thread but didn't want to risk a pile on!)

I believe there's a small core of posters who make up stories about a problem, then, lo and behold, the person causing the problem is autistic. They're quite easy to spot now. Sometimes it's adhd too. I just ignore them because they're so blatantly a wind up. It's getting a bit dull really. They need to look at their sad pathetic lives and consider more positive things they can do.

I think MN also need to add an option to close a thread before it hits active - as soon as it hits that board it turns into a pile-on or 300 posts of crap. Sometimes you'll have your answer within a couple of pages but then you get the moans about the poster abandoning the thread, from the same sad sacks who seem to spend all day on the message boards.

I have a thread on AIBU about portion sizes and I've had my arse handed to me generally but lots of comments telling me to eat somewhere head despite me explaining why that's just not possible. I'm glad it was just a thread created due to just thinking about things rather than something personal as otherwise I'd be very upset with the comments. It's really brought home to me how NT people (at the risk of generalising) just don't get it at all. Just choose a starter, go somewhere else, share with someone, don't eat out, just don't eat it, order something different etc. no concept of sensory issues or the need for consistency and places that feel safe and familiar. One poster even scoffed at us all having sensory issues. Yep, all 4 of us. Food textures and mixing of foods on plates are big things to us and make eating out very tricky, even at our safe and familiar places. It must be very liberating to be NT.

I saw that thread @AlternativelyWired and recall thinking when reading it that it's the kind of thread where so many people are going to disagree, ND aside.

I'm autistic and have ADHD. I didn't fully agree with your opening post, or I should say it's not my experience (or it hasn't been in the past as I haven't eaten out since Covid), but I recognised your name from the ND board and I didn't post to disagree with you as I didn't want to be part of the 'pile on'.

AIBU is quite a combative place and you're never going to get much understanding over there anyway, much less if it's an ND thing you're posting about.

Your experience is as you posted. That's all that matters, sod everyone else

I didn't explain myself very well as is often the case 😩 that thread mirrors my experience of conversations throughout my life. No one gets my point and I'm made out to be weird

And two more threads. Which nothing is being done about.

What are we as a group doing wrong? Why can’t they do something about it?

Which threads are those @AchillesPoirot?

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/employment_issues/4532819-Does-anyone-manage-someone-with-autism-Looking-for-advice

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4532794-DS-doesn-t-want-to-travel-to-see-his-Auntie

Reported both opening posts.

I already have ages ago. I’m so just worn down with it. They do not get it.

Make it about a black personal or a gay person and they’d see it. But because it’s autism they just don’t see it.

I must be feeling feisty as the work one in particular has given me the rage. It resonates as my dd's godmother had similar issues and struggled to get a job or promotion because they only saw her struggle at interview and not the fantastic nurse she was.

@AlternativelyWired

I must be feeling feisty as the work one in particular has given me the rage. It resonates as my dd's godmother had similar issues and struggled to get a job or promotion because they only saw her struggle at interview and not the fantastic nurse she was.

I’m raging.

I’m not seeing what’s so wrong with the work one tbh.

And I’m saying that as someone who is autistic - I think the OP is genuinely wanting advice.

The travel one is awful though.

@FieryPitOfMordor

I’m not seeing what’s so wrong with the work one tbh.

And I’m saying that as someone who is autistic - I think the OP is genuinely wanting advice.

It's the language used about droning on and blah blah and just the total disparagement of the employee. The OP might have had better responses if they had used less disrespectful ways of describing the employee.

It’s really dismissive of the colleague. It makes me sad. I found it really painful to read because I know that’s how my colleagues talk about me.