How do autism bashing threads make you feel?

[BarrowInFurnessRailwayStation]

Haven't had one in a while, but there's a pretty representative one going on in AIBU atm.

How do these make you feel?

I feel angry and go kind of hot and cold inside. I know it's not worth arguing on them anymore, but they're referring to me and my ds when they're saying the terrible things they're saying. Autism is who I am as a person, ergo I'm a terrible person who doesn't deserve to exist. I deserved to be abused and drugged when I was a kid. I deserved to be bullied throughout school and in adulthood. I'm a nuisance, a waste of space, a burden, someone who shouldn't be treading the earth. People hate me because of what I am.

Sure, people should have a space to talk about how their kid's difficulties affect them, but should they be allowed to generalise about the condition?

Autistic people who can express themselves, like us, are truly despised and dismissed. We're the lowest of the low by not following the narrative of autism is awful.

I feel bad for ds because this is how people feel about autistics

It's my birthday today. A reminder that I shouldn't have ever been born.

Neurotypicals and autistics are all the same species. You wouldnt cease to exist as the person you are just because you didnt have the same difficulties which led to you needing an autism diagnosis.

Ongoing research indicates that neurodiverse genes originated in a cousin of modern humans. Many different types of hominids inhabited the earth long before modern humans came along. They interbred and we all carry these ancient genes to a greater or lesser degree.

@BarrowInFurnessRailwayStation

Neurotypicals and autistics are all the same species. You wouldnt cease to exist as the person you are just because you didnt have the same difficulties which led to you needing an autism diagnosis.

Ongoing research indicates that neurodiverse genes originated in a cousin of modern humans. Many different types of hominids inhabited the earth long before modern humans came along. They interbred and we all carry these ancient genes to a greater or lesser degree.

Do you have any links to that? Not in a 'prove it' way, but in a 'wow I've not heard that before and I want to know more' way.

Many of the hypotheses are in scholarly articles online. I'll try and find some articles which summarise the gene discoveries. There are many PhD studies currently ongoing and it's a relatively new hypothesis. Anthropologists only discovered that neanderthals, denisovans and modern humans interbred in the last 10 or so years. It's an exciting area of research. The wider population have accepted the Judeo Christian narrative that there is only one Man, but that's not true. We all carry ancient genes which influence our thinking and brain function, just as they influence the rest of our body.

newsroom.uw.edu/story/human-neanderthal-gene-variance-involved-autism

www.news-medical.net/health/The-Effects-of-Neanderthal-DNA-on-Modern-Human-Health.aspx

edition.cnn.com/2020/12/09/health/neanderthal-genes-human-health-covid19-scn-wellness/index.html

www.medicaldaily.com/neanderthal-dna-depression-anatomically-modern-humans-373318

Adhd is also implicated in these genes.

When I was diagnosed, the clinical psychologist told me that the autism genes had persisted for a reason.

Look at Temple Grandin's book 'The Autistic Brain' and 'Neurotribes' by Steve Silberman for a good background understanding of the place of autism in the human story.

[quote EatSleepRantRepeat]@Croissantly do you go to other boards on MN for certain groups and dismiss the OPs concerns? Or just here?

I don't know why people make such a beeline for these threads where the OP is obviously feeling awful and then try to persuade them that it's all in their head.

And can people please stop using the term high functioning? It's divisive and inaccurate - forvexample, I thrive because I have exactly what I
I need at work and at home. Put me in any other situation and I fall to pieces, I've been let go from a fair few jobs before this one.[/quote]
No, I post on this one though because I am ND, I didn't realise a prerequisite was to agree with everyone like an echo chamber, my bad. Personally I don't think twisting posts to suit a particular narrative is overly helpful, and I don't see the issue with asking where these posts specifically saying those things it's claimed have been said.

pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/33564646/

Interesting finding related to covid19

Thanks for the links. That's my Saturday chores shelved for the day

Adhd is also implicated in these genes.

My consultant told me that many professionals believe that ADHD is another presentation of autism. Eating disorders too. I guess time will tell.

Some really interesting links there, thanks @BarrowInFurnessRailwayStation

I think it’s more that the mumsnet discourse around autism is so heavily grounded in sadness.

I’ve got far more sympathy for posters struggling with caring for someone with autism & significant needs than I have for someone diagnosing her husband with autism because he’s being a wanker.

But (and it’s a big but) I’d love there to be a space to celebrate the curiosity, straightforwardness, empathy, cleverness, originality, enthusiasm, joy in learning, and general delightfulness that can also be part of autism.

www.simplywellbeing.com/out-of-the-box/did-we-inherit-adhd-from-the-neanderthals/

Possible link with adhd. Many people with adhd smoke and unknowingly treat their adhd symptoms with nicotine. I did this for 20 years until I quit and immediately became depressed which has never gone away.

Thank you @BarrowInFurnessRailwayStation! Interesting links! Compliments on your very interesting thread.
Some thoughts:
I'm very proud of what my son is doing. He teaches himself a lot using his tablet, junior dictionary and encyclopedia, and flash cards. He can use his tablet very well even using the pin to unlock the screen. He likes to use the Google maps app to look at users' photos and the camera.

My children have hurt me and my youngest kicks like a donkey, he kicked me in the eye with his boot on before! I just see it as normal! I discipline him though!

I had sleep issues as a child, and as an adult. As a child I was not drugged but was expected to sit quietly in the dark and that I did. All night at times and then I was dragged to school no matter how tired. As an adult it continued and I allowed it to run rampant and realised I just didn't need that much sleep. I would love to let my kids sleep do the same and follow his natural rhythm and just sleep when he does, homeschooling if need be, but I tried that when he was 18 months and health visitor, portage etc were not impressed despite him being happy. NT police basically.

Then his little brother came along who is autistic also but has a need for regular sleep & routines, and we had no extra room, big bro was climbing out the cot and into baby's, I was more tired, and I had to do something to help my older child sleep every night. It's better than sitting quietly alone and being tired all day, and the amount of smacked bottoms my mum gave me to make me be silent all night wasn't about to happen either!

@BarrowInFurnessRailwayStation

www.simplywellbeing.com/out-of-the-box/did-we-inherit-adhd-from-the-neanderthals/

Possible link with adhd. Many people with adhd smoke and unknowingly treat their adhd symptoms with nicotine. I did this for 20 years until I quit and immediately became depressed which has never gone away.

Shit! This is a real eye opener for me. I smoked from 18 to 35, gave up to get 'healthy' became depressed, marriage broke down, left DH. Met someone else, had DD at 40 and when I split with her Dad 18 months later I started having a couple of cigarettes in the garden every night to 'ground' myself once she was in bed. I'm still having those few fags every night because I think I'd just sit in an anxious, fidgety mess every night and become depressed again. It also fits my need for routine. Have ciggie at 8pm, watch something on TV, have another one at 9, bedtime at 10ish.

We live in a world of liars. People say one thing, and do another.

People say we live in a world that is accepting of people of disabilities, but the truth is to them people with disabilities are a imposition. Too much of a burden to hire, too much of a burden to be friends with, too much of a burden to accommodate for.

If Zombie Hitler came back and offered everyone £10 in exchange for every disabled person they could throw in the back of his Nazi van, I know I'd be swung over some greedy bastard's shoulder in seconds :(

For those doubting the ableism and ignorance we face every day, there is a thread where a colleague is being described as ‘pompous’’ and some poster (not the OP) has come up with this statement:

Sounds like he could have Aspergers or autism. Using overly formal language and not appearing to have a sense of humour can be ASD traits

For some of us our language can maybe be awkward but the sense of humour comment is just rubbish. This is what I mean by posters believing they have the right to speak about us in whatever terms hey feel is appropriate.

And then these comments stand, others read them, and then the stereotype is reinforced and the cycle repeats. Every fucking day.

I was told pretty much every day that I had no sense of humour and I believed it. As a much older adult I've come to realise that I have a wicked sense of humour. I just don't find it funny when people are belittling others and making 'jokes' at the expense of others.

Like when my fuckwitted brother crept up behind my autistic 3 year old and banged a pan because it's hysterical when he freezes in terror and wets himself. It's not funny and I don't care how many of my family think I'm humourless for not laughing along.

Not being able to take a joke is a trope rolled out again and again and again to justify bullying of autistic people

My dad used to crack jokes all the time about my weight. Like the time I was getting in the car and he said to a group of neighbours 'good job I ha the suspension checked'. Cue lots of laughing from them all. But I didn't laugh as I have no sense of humour. What I do have though is an eating disorder that has plagued my adult life. But at least they all got a good giggle out of it.

@RainbowZebraWarrior interesting isn't it? I've even toyed with the idea of either going back to smoking or having nicotine via a vape, but I'm worried about the physical health implications. I used to love a ciggie. Is living a miserable life really worth it or is it better to be fatalistic and enjoy things whilst you can?

If Zombie Hitler came back and offered everyone £10 in exchange for every disabled person they could throw in the back of his Nazi van, I know I'd be swung over some greedy bastard's shoulder in seconds

It's worrying for sure.

And then these comments stand, others read them, and then the stereotype is reinforced and the cycle repeats. Every fucking day.

I agree. People will believe the stereotypes over actual autistic people telling them that it's not true.....like the empathy thing.

@BringBackCoffeeCreams that's awful about the banging pan and your dad saying about your weight on what planet are things like that funny?

On planet Fuckwit. I'm no contact with the lot of them now and life is much better.

With respect to Planet Fuckwit - I also feel I lived in Topsy-Turvey Delusionville.

Where quiet, gentle people who didn't harm anyone were the worst people in school.
Where victims of sexual assault were the perpetrators.
Where people who were called dull and boring where nevertheless watched intently as if they were the most interesting thing to happen ever.
Where people act friendly but reveal they only wanted you around because it made them feel better about themselves NOT being like you.

And people who would cheer about not sitting next to me or looked pained if I have to interact in a classroom setting give surprised Pikachu faces when I state I have no wish to go to a school reunion.

@BringBackCoffeeCreams, I'm sorry to hear how you are treated by your family; that's horrible. I've had similar experiences. Some of my family were really horrible and I think that covered up my autistic symptoms to a degree until I became an adult. The amount of bullying I got from siblings, cousins, uncles etc from a young age first made me violent and then withdraw completely, including food anxiety. It was being sent to the nearby selective school at 12 that first introduced me to families where that wasn't "normal" and I started to mask to try and fit in, which causes its own problems.

I'd be interested to know how many of us were punished physically as children with hitting, shouting etc for having what we'd now call a meltdown. I react to stressful situations now by completely shutting down and withdrawing, because I'm worried I'll either get hit, or lash out myself and hurt someone.

Yep, I've been to that place too. My family used to take the absolute piss out of my autistic DH as he's not a proper man. He has no interest in football or beer or any other macho bollocks. He's kind and gentle and puts his wife and children first. They see him as weak but I think he's one of the strongest men I know.