Support thread for autistic people in relationships with NTs

[IncompleteSenten]

I am autistic. (Diagnosed). I was DX as an adult after both my sons were DX and the professionals involved with them began to raise it with me.

Female autism typically presents very differently in women and is often missed and so we go through years of our lives feeling weird and confused and all sorts and just not knowing why.

My husband is NT. It can be really difficult. Its not his fault, it's just how it is but I thought maybe if there are a few of us we can have our own thread where we get to chat and talk about things we find hard and perhaps give each other advice?

Report the OP and ask for it to be moved (assuming @IncompleteSenten doesn’t mind).

@Momniscient

Is there a way to get this thread moved to the new Neurodiverse Mumsnetters area?

Quick link here for anyone who can't find it!: Neurodiverse Mumsnetters

Oh Wow!!! We finally have a home. How fab.

Yay for the new board!!

That M&S bralette looks lovely, unfortunately like many other brands they don't seem to recognise that you can be an adult woman and have a ribcage that measures 28-30 inches. Those sizes are often only available in 'teen' ranges, and then they don't think you can have boobs bigger than a B or C cup!

I'm not even skinny! Solid size 12. I just don't happen to carry my emergency reserves of stored energy i.e. fat right under my boobs.

Hi all, we're moving this thread over to our new Neurodiverse Mumsnetters topic at the OP's request.

Ooh, check us out with our fancy new board

That's annoying @BlibBlabBlob, I've always been on the chunky side so I've never had to consider smaller back sizes

NT DP is trying to tell me jokes -

DP - which building in London has the most stories?

Me - The British Library

DP - Aww, I knew you'd answer that with your autism

WTF? I do wish he wouldn't say that as it is just an obvious answer and not funny and nothing to do with Autism.

Mind you my favourite joke remains Q- "what is brown and sticky?" A- "A stick"

@LilyRed I don't get the library joke... is it something to do with storeys (height of building) and stories (novels)?

That's sounds more like a "gotcha" than a joke tbh. Relies on people thinking it's "storeys" and saying a tall building. So the disappointment is because you weren't tricked, I guess.

Hmmm.

To counter:
Q: What do you call a duck carrying an axe?
A: A lumberquack

My favourite joke is:

Two fish are in a tank. One says to the other, ‘you man the guns, I’ll drive!’

😂😂😂

Everyone says it’s terrible but it makes me honk like a goose.

I like those old "Jamaica? No, of her own accord" jokes and my absolute favourite is:

My wife's gone to Spain to get her broken nose sorted out.
Andalusia?
No, just her nose.

I'm terrible at telling jokes though.

[quote BlibBlabBlob]@LilyRed I don't get the library joke... is it something to do with storeys (height of building) and stories (novels)?[/quote]
Yes, me thinking of books means I automatically assume stories so the British library is an obvious answer, but a play on words. It could indeed be storeys, in which case the shard (I think) but for this joke it would be incorrect - though choosing 'stories' does not make one autistic even if I am. I am utterly rubbish at jokes!

@hopperrock

I like those old "Jamaica? No, of her own accord" jokes and my absolute favourite is:

My wife's gone to Spain to get her broken nose sorted out.
Andalusia?
No, just her nose.

I'm terrible at telling jokes though.

Is that meant to be Andalusia as in And-her-loose-ear?

I got married in Jamaica so had 13 years of exH doing the Jamaica joke

I do like the what do you call a man with... type jokes cos to me they are more like a quiz

So, what do you call a man with fifty rabbits up his bum?
Warren

Man with a seagull on his head?
Cliff

You get the picture...

...with a spade on his head?
Doug

Who can't swim?

Bob.

I've been lurking and silently relating to everything and it's the jokes that bring me out.

In terms of (presumably) NTs - I am arguing on another thread with someone completely ignorant about whether or not autism is a mental health condition. Sick and tired of this particular crappy misunderstanding, which is currently happening at work as well. And it’s so depressingly widespread. I feel like my life at the moment is being a walking educational toy.

@BachAndByte

They haven't got a clue some of them 🤦‍♀️

It doesn't help that it tends to be lumped together in educational literature as because of the co-morbidities. I don't bother with mental health groups any more for my other condition because they can't understand why I refuse to do mindfulness, even though its painful for me.

@EatSleepRantRepeat

What happens when you do mindfulness if you don't mind me asking?

Is that meant to be Andalusia as in And-her-loose-ear?

Yes, there's a whole bunch with the same format, based on misunderstanding a place name. The classic one is this one:

My wife's gone to the Caribbean.
Jamaica? (Did you make her?)
No, she went of her own accord.

But the Andalusia one just tickles me for some reason.

not heard tthe loose ear one before...

@BachAndByte

In terms of (presumably) NTs - I am arguing on another thread with someone completely ignorant about whether or not autism is a mental health condition. Sick and tired of this particular crappy misunderstanding, which is currently happening at work as well. And it’s so depressingly widespread. I feel like my life at the moment is being a walking educational toy.

Oh god. Still? How long does it take for people to drop their ignorance?

Which thread?

Yes, which thread please.

Hi, I’m diagnosed autistic and ADHD and currently trying to write a pro/con list about whether to try medication. Have a NT partner and we have various communication issues so this thread is just what I have been looking for.
Loving the jokes - just the kind that make me really laugh!!!

I am so happy that this thread is on mumsnet. I am newly diagnosed with ADHD and even though it has been an emotional time, it also explains so much and puts a lot into place for me, I also don't feel so alone when I read the threads on here x