Neurodiversity thread - for all MNetters who are neurodiverse - ASD, ADHD, Dyspraxia and more.

[FaithAscending]

Welcome one and all to the new thread. A safe haven for MNetters who identify as neurodiverse, diagnosis or not, and those waiting for assessment. Links available in recent threads. Newbies welcome. We just ask that you introduce yourself

I've wondered if I had Asperger's since at least my early teens. Always felt some kind of "mmm, yeah" when I saw ASD people on TV, and my mum has had a lifelong interest in autism, so it's something I've always been aware of, as a Thing. First and only time it was mentioned in a clinical context was by a nurse when I was IP at 15, when she asked why I hadn't stopped some behaviour or other when I could see that others were getting upset (I explained I wasn't good with understanding facial expressions and that's why I didn't know they were upset). Was never mentioned by staff again. Then a few years ago there was a documentary, Horizon, I think, where I became 90% convinced that autism could help explain the overwhelming shittiness and failiness of my life, so I spent ages thinking about it then went to the GP - was pretty easy to get referred, as it happens.

Hi, all.

I'm recovering from yesterday. As Polter said, I made it to Blogfest. It was a really great experience and I'm so glad I forced myself to go.

There are a few thing I could be kicking myself for doing/not doing. For instance, other people had business cards with their blog details on to hand out to people they got chatting with. Also, I was approached by someone from one of the stands and she wanted to film me but I bottled it and didn't go over to the stand (I used to want to be an actress, FFS!).

But, I've decided not to feel bad for any of it. I managed to get transport all the way there and back by myself, I managed to talk to other people (and latched on to a woman who blogs about her little girl with CF very early in the day so I wasn't ever alone), I managed to tweet a few things and gained a few new followers.

Most of all, I now know exactly what to expect if I go next year and will be much more prepared. Having read the advice up-thread to Pibbles about treating a networking thing as a practice, I've decided to treat yesterday as a practice. Looked at from that perspective, it was a massive success. Plus, next year DS2 will be in nursery a couple of days a week so I'll probably be able to spend more time on my blog and that will be when something like Blogfest will be more relevant for me.

I completely shut down on the tube afterwards and am very overloaded/tired today after an entire day spent around so many people and so much noise but that's to be expected. I imagine I'll take a few days to recover fully.

Well done BDH that sounds great!

Pibbles I do a lot of networking social events for work. I treat it like performing a character in a play, I can slide into that persona quite easily and since all I need to do is talk about work (which is in my special interests anyway) it's fairly straightforward.

I also like organising parties much more than going to them - like someone else said, you're in control! I'd add to that that you always have an excuse to say "excuse me" and head for the quiet of the kitchen away from the chaos, and you don't have to get home afterwards because you are home.

Pibbles - yeah it does seem a little odd that you have been asked to go to an networking event in a way. I agree with the others try to just see it as practise. I have found they are never as bad as i thought they woild be. I tell people i am nervous and to be honest many of the others are too. I am a therapist so my skills are not in business at all and i do find them abit intimidating but never as bad as i think they will be. Try not to worry too much about it - easier said than done - as it sounds like it may be more on the informal side and in my experience those type are much easier. I do find alot of people put on a front for these things but i have found that people actually prefer people to be honest and authentic - it seems to give others permission to do that too!

Pleased it went well BDH
Massive well done for going!

I had my course this weekend, and I feel like I've had a holiday, it was so lovely to be away from the DC home for a couple of days. I also tried gin, which was vile, but made me feel vaguely grown up until I gave up on it a few sips in .
I reached my peak at about 3pm today though, battled through and am now absolutely knackered and monosyllabic.

Evening all!

Well done BDH! You did it!

Pig good for you, glad you enjoyed the change.

I took DD to a party today. Felt kind of awkward (I only do one drop off a week so I don't see many people) but I interacted a bit. It was a music party which I tolerated (although I left the room when the tambourines came out!). She enjoyed most of it but got a bit overwhelmed when the music got loud. I still wonder about her, she didn't really interact socially, but that might just be an age thing...?

Music party actually sounds like fun (in theory at least, nice innovative idea anyhow) Were the adults allowed join in with the music making? activities to get stuck into always seem to make these things easier

Ds has now decided he wants to go to a local theme park for his birthday. kind of relieved- it's not stress free, but been done before and well within my capabilities.

Pibbles mostly we were on the sides but we did join in when she got the parachute out! Theme park sounds good! DD wants a party at the local farm park - they provide lunch, there's soft play and a tractor ride so I'm good with that.

Pig, I hate gin. I think it tastes vile. I'm obviously not a very good MNer.

Oh bugger Polter I'm sorry.
Can you treat it as a safety net whilst looking?

It was naice gin. I'm obviously a pleb, and I like cheap crappy wine.

Had a scary/productive day. Have made leaps into apprentice/work experience stuff. Have emailed someone about the degree I want to do (eek!). Have got loads done, ready for two days of workmen here (). Ready to sleep now!

Polter, my dad always makes the same claim about the 'proper' vodka he got from Russia when I talk about how much I dislike vodka. Apparently, it's much nicer than Smirnoff etc. but I remain unconvinced.

I'm sorry about your work.

I know I'm still recovering from Saturday so I'm trying not to be too hard on myself but I'm struggling with the boys today (DS1 off school ill). I hate that I'm looking forward to DS1 being well so I won't have to deal with him during the day again. It's not even like I'm being all 'hands on' and that's why I'm struggling; I'm virtually ignoring them as much as I can.

Rural I feel the same way - I got very good school reports but was always othered and had no idea why. I can now remember being punished for not including one girl in my play, and I didn't understand why I had to play with her if I didn't want to. I also had a very structured life because my mum was an absolute stickler for rules and she even chose my clothes until I was about 12! but got very upset when things weren't normal or when I wasn't in my usual environment - in fact when my mum re-married they had to build me a loft conversion because I just couldn't fit in with my 3 step-siblings. I spent the next few years alone up there with my cat, who was my best friend. It's only been in the last few years I've suddenly noticed things getting worse and there's research to show that many women mask so well that it's not until they get older when hormones start to shift or they're in stressful jobs that they begin to feel like something isn't right. I share your concerns about being told I'm NT, because I know if I don't get an official dx nobody will believe me since I can act the part so well.

Someone up thread said they did elocution and poetry reading as a kid and I did this too - I could act if someone told me how to play it because I was a great mimic but ask me to figure out how to actually have some charisma? Couldn't do it to save my life. I spent years on stages performing but never felt right and nobody ever came up and talked to me after shows because they found me aloof and intimidating apparently...

Do they actually ask to see your school records, or just ask you about school?

Why is college so argh

My whole day has been thrown off by one hour of groupwork.

Yeah, it ended up being sitting-in-a-corner-of-the-classroom-and-sometimes-having-to-go-outside-while-the-others-did-the-work-work.

brain not work

My GP has somewhere lined up so I'm just waiting on a referral letter from my psych consultant now. I do t have any school reports though and the only people that knew me at school live 3 hours away - hoping they can just go on what I remember, which is in great detail luckily (or not!).

Turns out structuring your own life is impossible though - 'working from home' although far less stressful in terms of travel etc is mostly me just procrastinating and freaking out about the state of the house and that someone might actually want to have a phone call