Neurodiversity thread - for all MNetters who are neurodiverse - ASD, ADHD, Dyspraxia and more.

[FaithAscending]

Welcome one and all to the new thread. A safe haven for MNetters who identify as neurodiverse, diagnosis or not, and those waiting for assessment. Links available in recent threads. Newbies welcome. We just ask that you introduce yourself

Chronically Pregnant - yes i am scared they will saying that i am wasting their time. I tried very hard to get an adhd assessment about five years ago.My gp referred me but the pct wouldnt pay on the grounds that they said it would have to be impacting my health - i cried my eyes out down the phone to them saying all the ways it had impacted on me. I was sent to a psych who admitted she didnt know enough about adhd in adults and i would still need to go to an expert. I was later referred back to the cmht but the lady was horrible to me and said i didnt need a diagnosis just strategies. But a diagnosis would mean i not just a failure, that there has been a reason for this all. I was so worn down i gave up as i was rather unwell mentally at the time. But here i am 5 years later mentally fine but struggling more than ever. My big problem will be a lack of symptoms as a child. I had a supportive, structured family life and i was ok. I then got bullied badly at secondary school and started to get depressed and my long term insomnia started at this point. But it wasnt until i was at uni that i really started to struggle. I started self harming, had depression and anxiety and ocd type issues. This carried on and i had years of depression. I am now well mentally but my motivation is so low still, procrastination is a huge problem for me. I am so forgetful, disorganised and scatty. I start projects and get really excited then get bored and never finish them. I am up to my ears in clutter. My working memory is on the 5th centile, i have slow processing speed and tics since i was tiny. I do appear to have some traits of aspergers but not all and lots of adhd symptoms in adult hood. But my school reports wont help with diagnosis as they say i tried hard and was a nice girl etc. I just dont see how i can prove it as being an issue in my childhood. But i am terrified that they will say that i am neither adhd or aspergers because where does that leave me then. I am feeling rather desperate to be honest.

Have a look at the female traits lists mentioned- for ADHD and ASD- you might find that you did meet some of the criteria in childhood but in non-standard ways (as is common for girls, hence the under diagnosis).

For example, I was overly good at speaking- I used formal grammar and syntax, and a wide vocabulary even as a small child. I was a classic mini professor. I got along much better with adults. Hence my school reports don't give much info but nevertheless there was a qualitative difference between mine and my peers' speech.

It's fairly common for ND girls to go under the radar until such a time that the social demands exceed their coping strategies- this commonly happens in late primary or during secondary school. I then had a more settled period as there was less change during my early twenties (finished education, got a steady boyfriend, a job, a house) then during my late twenties the demands once again overwhelmed me (first child amongst many other factors).

So it's a pattern that is common to many ND adults

Yep polter I have clear memories of just doing what the other children were doing, so I didn't stand out. I had no idea what I was doing, or why. The stomach aches, my mum is even now convinced that I had Crohn's symptoms in childhood, when actually a lot were faked to get out of things and the rest were anxiety. I even had panic attacks and meltdowns as a child, which were interpreted by my parents as purposeful breath holding and tantrums. I could only sleep if I were being patted or rocked, when I was older my mum played meditation CDs or music to me. Many, many more things which didn't seem like much at the time, but looking back the signs were there.

In fact, my mum told me a few months ago that she had thought both me and my brother were autistic as toddlers, but at the time there was only classic autism and we didn't meet the criteria for that.

Polter - i am in Shropshire and am having a pre- diagnosis assessment done with Autonomy very soon. I always thought i had adhd, it was the lady that said it could be mild aspergers so it was very subtle in childhood but that stress has brought the symptoms out in adulthood. I have done one of the online Autism quotient things and it said i had some NT traits and some Neuro diverse traits. If i am only slightly on the spectrum then i dont understand why i have so many problems with procrastination/ lack of motivation/ disorganisation/ forgetfulness etc. I am really struggling but in areas like relationships etc i am coming out as neuro typical. I am really not sure if i have enough traits to be diagnosed with aspergers. That is why i suppose i always thought it was adhd instead. Anyway on that Autism questionaire it plotted the results on a circular graph and it was quite a spiky profile with the relationship side looking very different to other sections etc.

In terms of childhood adhd symptoms - i talked way too mych and too loudly, i fidgetted and can remember beibg told off for daydreaming - but not much and i didnt really get in trouble. At secondary school i had coping mechanism so if i forgot homework i did it at break time before lesson. My mum and dad were very organised and supportive too so i think that helped. I was bullied for being different though and have never felt i belong. I feel like i am not even from earth to be honest

There are things that dont resonate with me you see - i was a social butterfly at primary school. It was often me leading the play and making up the games. Now as an adult though i have some friends but no best friends. I keep them at arms length abit. I dont ring them back or bother to keep in touch as much as i should. I arrange things but by the next morning i feel i cant cope with it or my motivation is so low. I have bern told that could be asperger traits but i feel it comes from my low motivation really. I was a socialble little girl so that i guess is one reason i resonate more with adhd and why i am worrying about the lack of childhood symptoms thing.

Oh dear...(again, sorry for having completely lost track of this thread, though I have been lurking) I wonder if anyone has any ideas how to cope with/get myself out of what essentially sounds like the 7th level aspie hell.

 Looks like I have just accidently/stupidly agreed to attend a fecking NETWORKING EVENT.....I work seasonally and have been a little thrown by the change of routine since DS started school in September, so I've just signed to a couple of agencies, and one of them called me yesterday asking would I like to go to 'vague sounding evening event' I wanted to show willing, said yes, received information email, googled 'networking evenings.' Panicked. Panicked some more. Googled a bit more, Internet mostly telling  that their kind of arbitrary in my industry anyway, leading me to conclude it just isn't worth the torment. Hopefully I won't look too flaky if I call them with plenty of notice saying my childcare had fallen through or something??? 
 Still, if anyone here has attended such an event and lived to tell the tale,  would be interested to hear. 

Likewise, I'm also curious if any of you have done a partyThats another thing I think is just beyond me though I'm starting to get guilt trips over itI mean having to organise everything! And socialise/ make small talk! To a backdrop of luridly coloured play equipment, shrieking children and nursery rhyme playing slot machines! Just....how?

Polter i do think i fit lots of thingd in a small way - i cover the criteria for tourettes. I had a dyslexia test and the lady said i was dyslexic but that the profile looked like that of someone with dyspraxia. I have irlens syndrome. But where does that leave ne if i have bits of a number of things? I feel i need a diagnosis for healing really as i feel such a failure. I know it maybe impossible though.

Hosted a children's party, sorry if it wasn't clear

That is meant to say i am not dyslexic

Evening all! You've been chatty while I've been at work. Lots resonating with me today.

I don't think anyone from my school would have recognised my difficulties really. I was a friendly child (but formed few lasting relationships). I worked hard, was a people pleaser, volunteered for stuff and had elocution lessons and did poetry spouting and singing so I'm actually very confident in public even now. It's the 1:1 stuff I find awkward. I had a period of 'stomach aches' too. I genuinely felt them! This was at a peak when I had no friends. They would come on during break and disappear when lessons started up again. I recall my Mum taking me to the GP saying This better be genuine. Charming woman at times, my mother Later I was diagnosed with IBS, an elimination diet showed a lactose and wheat sensitivity. Having a colonoscopy for chronic abdo pain next week. I do think a lot of it was psychosomatic though.

I was diagnosed with 'dyslexic tendencies' at 21. I didn't quite meet the diagnosis for dyslexia because I excelled in some areas on the psychometric tests. Normal is 8-12 I believe? I either got around 14 or 7! The ed psych said I'd got strategies that meant I worked around my issues which including a short-term memory deficit. I'm incredibly clumsy and would suspect I have dyspraxia tendencies too. I have poor spatial awareness which is why I'm always covered in bruises!

Finally realised I was an Aspie 18 months ago. I think the thing is with any of this, diagnosis or not, is there's a lot of merit and relief in simply realising that somehow, you're neuro-diverse. We're not wired like NTs and that's ok! Recognising that has given me the freedom to embrace who I really am. I worried about getting entrenched in routine but actually, that's what keeps me functioning!

I am tired so I'll stop before I ramble on too much, but I'll say: Rural, I hope you get your diagnosis and you can understand yourself better. It definitely sounds like you're ND, the challenges are impacting on your wellbeing and recognising that is a very significant step.

Pibbles - i have to go to business Networking events from time to time. I cant say i actually enjoy them. The less formal ones i prefer. I decided from the start that i would be myself though and if people didnt like me then tough. I am self employed in a service based profession/ industry and essentially if people like me they will come to me but i dont want clients that dont accept me as i am. The tip i would give you is if you have to give a pitch then pre preoare something short and practise a few times. Best of luck!

Faith, did you have a diagnosis or discover through reading/research ect (Forgive me as I believe you've mentioned already up thread)

Polter, regarding the kids parties being easy were these home or out? Also were they mostly with family/good friends? In which case that doesn't sound to bad, however I'm looking more at a situation of me, DS plus a bunch of kids from school/parents I've never met and the expectation of making a good impression. Tbf, my parents would probably want to be there, but my mum, though she means well likes to take on the role of 'social performance critic' in these circumstances which would just stress me further!
Am thinking of 'birthday tea' at home with my parents, my good 'mum friend' and her DS. Maybe downstairs neighbours. Add copious junk food and a couple of games and that's a party right?

Cheers rural mum!

But I don't get it, I'm not a business person, or work doing anything sales/promotional and haven't the foggiest what a 'pitch' for the jobs I'm seeking would even be (I even had to google pitch) it's in a few days and honestly I feel my spoons would be better used doing more traditional job hunting...still scary, but at least I have a clue where to start.

Hi everyone. Sorry I'm not keeping up. Poorly dc and I'm full of a cold.

Not to worry HRF, you've got a lot on your plate!

Pibbles, it was both. I saw a thread on MN (I was already a MNetter), read the Tania Marshall webpage about women with ASD and it hit me, this explained why I am like I am. After I talked to DH (who wasn't convinced) and my sister (who also wasn't sure), I went to my GP. She also wasn't sure but agreed to refer me. Referral process consisted of completing a questionnaire and that was discussed at panel. Based on that, they agreed to do the assessment, which confirmed ASD.