A new Neurodiversity support thread for those with suspected or diagnosed ASD, ADHD and other NDs

[PigPigTrotters]

Yet another thread for neurodivergent mumsnetters.

Lots of links in old threads.

Anyone is welcome, it's not just about autism.

It's hard, Laura - the image of an autistic person is so often of someone who doesn't really want to people at all. I wonder how many of the young, white boys autistic people who do avoid social situations genuinely prefer to be alone all the time, compared to the number who would really like to people but have failed to cope enough times that they just give up, the discomfort outweighing the pleasure enough to make it not worth the effort.

I think it's laudable that you do keep trying, you do go out of your comfort zone, and reap the benefits of it alongside the pain. But it is so, so hard when you're enjoying yourself to just pull away and say to yourself, "right, that's as much as I'm going to be able to cope with today". It's similar with many other disabilities, I think - people will push themselves to keep going to a point where they'll be in pain, which continues on long after the situation is over, and perhaps use unhealthy coping mechanisms. It's hard to be someone who can't do something they'd really like to do

Anyone else have the horror of doing 'self-reviews' for work?

I've cried over it this morning. They want to know 'how' we did things, and within this framework of things that I don't understand. I just texted my boss (who is also a close friend - he loves waifs and strays) and said how frustrated I was at knowing I'm not stupid, but just never progressing somehow. My demand avoidance at work goes into overdrive so I just appear lazy. I attend conference calls and slide presentations and come out of them remembering nothing, and then I have to crawl back to him to ask how to do whatever it is.

Nyeeeeurgghh… we had to do self-evaluations for our "study skills" portfolios in first year at college. I nearly died of cringe. (Ooh, verb-nouning!)

Hi, Is anyone on this thread a veteran of the MNHQ/disablism wars?

I'm probably unrecognisable as I've not long NCed but I'm afraid I just accidentally got rather cross with someone's remarks re Autism on the main boards and called them a few choice things ;

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/a2769958-I-need-to-report-this-dont-I?msgid=64614357#64614357

So, I suspect the whole argument might be about to revive Do mosey on over if anyone has any appetite for it left

Polter and BDH
Hope you're both feeling better very soon.

I have a low need for peopling, and at the moment I have a low people threshold.
Today (after a good night's sleep) I've spent a lovely 2.5 hours with a friend, had some really interesting discussions and enjoyed it, but I'm now sitting quietly, my eyes and head hurt and I'll have less energy to be nice to my DC tonight! It was worth it though!

One of the pages I follow on FB put up a post about attachment, which I found quite upsetting. It described different attachments and how they can cause all sorts of issues for the child into adulthood. My parenting style at the moment is up and down, winging it with dollops of "Aaargh make it stop" chucked in for good measure. It worries me a lot that my lack of coping at the moment will have awful repercussions on the DC.

would really like to people but have failed to cope enough times that they just give up, the discomfort outweighing the pleasure enough to make it not worth the effort.

This sums me up.

I've just had to do study skills at college. I hated it. Now I'm on to safeguarding. Which is huge and needs doing by next week. I've barely started!

Study skills = blatantly obvious bullshit (Use different folders for different subjects! Bring a pen with you! Use linking words, like "however"!) + excruciatingly embarrassing self-evaluation.

Oh, FFS at that thread. I babysat when I was 14, I was good at it, I was an over officious little sod anyway.

Re: peopling. I actually really enjoy it when my anxiety and depression aren't playing up. But I do have a limit and when I'm not drinking it's very easy to know when that limit is.

I very rarely drink now and as a result I don't people as much as I used to either, the hang over puts me off. But when I do I am the kind of person who never wants the party to end and never knows when enough is enough when it comes to my own limits.

Attachment theory also refers to extreme situations like Romanian orphanages. Normal parenting, even not-great parenting, is not enough to cause an attachment disorder. And attachment parenting doesn't make your attachment more secure. It's either secure or it's not. That's not something you can undo with an off day unless you're actually being abusive.

Having a really shitty evening. Ds2 has been saying really disgusting stuff all night (like the sort of things where if he said it at school, or ds3 repeated it, it would be assumed that they'd been abused). He's then emptied water all over the bathroom and the corridor upstairs, so I lost it, took his phone (how fucking stupid!) he attacked me and has stabbed my leg with a pen. He then tidied up the mess he made and has been asked to stay upstairs now.
I suck so much at this parenting (another verbing noun?) shit.
My leg is bleeding and is very sore.

That's shitty, Pig :(

Pig that sounds so hard. I wouldn't have been able to keep my cool at all. Hope your leg is okay

I feel bad because I could/should have handled it better, day after Halloween I should have expected this.
I'm at a loss how to deal with the disgusting stuff he comes out with though.

Another one struggling to adult today- been in tears more times than I can count. Upheaval at work. Boss said something in a meeting which I took very personally. Lots of people assured me it wouldn't have been and were really nice- so more crying (why do I cry more when people are nice?). Spoke to boss (and cried again), it wasn't me, but at least she's a bit more aware of my needs now as we had quite a little heart to heart. DD has been struggling with toileting, we had a chat about it earlier and she sobbed her little heart out so that set me off again. Absolutely knackered now.

pig hope things are better tomorrow.

mission I'm trying to stay off the main boards because I just can't help getting too invested in hinges like disablism wars and I don't have the energy at the moment.

Hiding outside in the dark with phone and gin. Have had workmen for two days putting in new windows. Besieged. Halfterm mayhem then no safe place. Husband kind but doesn't quite follow why am not able to discuss admin stuff now. Halfterm and Halloween disruptive for us all, yes? Hugs to you all, decisively.

Crohn
Hope,you have a better day tomorrow too.