A new Neurodiversity support thread for those with suspected or diagnosed ASD, ADHD and other NDs

[PigPigTrotters]

Yet another thread for neurodivergent mumsnetters.

Lots of links in old threads.

Anyone is welcome, it's not just about autism.

I've been described as Call a spade a f*cking shovel!

rat I'd have been the same!

Polter that sounds rough. Do you have ways/means to relax?

I often wonder whether I would've developed the mental health problems I have had it not been for the stress of education while autistic.

I'm not sure if that sentence makes sense.

rat I have a diagnosis of 'Generalised anxiety disorder' but actually, since my diagnosis I've concluded it's anything but - it's very specific to having ASD and living in fear of doing/saying something wrong.

Polter my things are bubble baths, crochet, getting lost in a good book...

Think everyone needs some
We try to protect our dc's mental health, but it somehow always backfires in others' opinions, who manage to make out we're making everything worse, and we have no way of knowing if we're doing the right thing or not, we have to hope for the best.

And whilst we're sharing crap, I'm fed up of feeling anxious all the time and fed up of not sleeping. 2 bloody hours last night! It's a joke!
I'm fed up of people pretending to understand, and asking "does that work for you?" but if it doesn't they're clear that I'm not trying hard enough. I'm sick of having to try hard at everything I do but still come out crap, then when I need time to be alone I'm just being lazy.

My psych withdrew my anxiety/depression diagnoses as he said it was just the way my AS presents itself. So the answer for me autisticrat is definitely that my AS caused my mental health problems.

Had my midwife booking in today, that was interesting, taking my medical history. There's nowhere on the booklet to actually record the fact that I have AS. She wrote it down anyway, in a random space somewhere.

I've chosen the same hospital I gave birth to DD in- after all, familiarity is comforting.

I think I'm going to fill in a hospital passport (something the NAS has produced), it seems a bit 'basic' for someone so 'high functioning' but actually I think it could be of benefit if anything unexpected happens because under stress I do regress.

polter indeed, mental health has to be the priority. I look at what we're doing to the NT kids sometimes, and I wonder why I'm still in the job. But then familiarity is comforting...

Ooh, cake ! Lovely.

Mine is bipolar disorder (at least, currently… a therapist suggested it might be my ASD being misinterpreted as bipolar disorder) - it's in my family, and there are genetic factors in bipolar disorder, but like ASD it's not 100% genetic, and I wonder whether the problems I had through having ASD provided the stress trigger for the illness.

2 hours' sleep is Not Enough Sleep Pig - hope tonight is better

Polter for all the shit you are going through.

Autisticrat "Sabotaged by my own brain" - there you have it in a nutshell! Oh yes ASD is such a gift (rolls eyes). Every waking moment filled with fretting, hiding, analysis about every fucking miniscule thought and action.

Your rant was like music to the ears.

Especially the bit about not being able to have an organised home! Why? Why can't I get it together? I live on my own now, and am still surrounded by chaos. It is embarrassing.

I once said to someone that I had no aspirations beyond sorting my house out and I am still aspiring on that one!

So many plans and ideas not realized and left undone. Chest of drawers acquired 20 years ago STILL unpainted! Can't get on with anything as the materials are never to hand and the motivation never did surface.

I wish you guys didn't have these struggles too, as I wouldn't wish problems on anyone (except, perhaps, at this precise moment, Nigel Farage), but it's comforting to know I'm not alone.

I feel exactly the same about ND by the way - I was turned down for promotion because they 'didn't feel it was in my best interests'. My whole job is to push ND but all that seems to happen is that people ask you what you need and then you can't think what it is, because 'it' is so hard to describe. You'd need to change the entire world around, and that's not feasible. So all I'm doing is collecting adjustments and then finding they're impossible.

What I did yesterday was kind of funny, though. In hindsight. It's just… it reminded me of all the problems and shit this has caused me.

Today has got off to a bad start. Can't find my council tax bill (because my house is a shit tip) forgot to grab my purse on my way out the door, am running late for physio and trying to rush there with dodgy hips. Argh. I'm so unorganised.

and for anyone and everyone.

I'm still ill. DH was off yesterday and took care of the school run so today was my first day back doing it and it floored me. By the time I got home I had a coughing fit, was covered in cold sweat and felt dizzy. I'm not looking forward to repeating it again later.

Illness just makes my autism worse so I've been all tearful the morning about how crap I am, too.

DS2 is still ill, too. He at least had a small tub of Cheerios this morning, which is the most he's eaten in about a week. It's just as well he's such a chunky thing - I'd be seriously worried if DS1 went this long eating so little because he'd be wasting away.

Sorry everyone else is so crap right now, as well. As awful as it sounds , it is comforting to know other people have the same sort of struggles.

I get exactly what you mean there. I think that they don't know what they don't know, IYSWIM - I guess you're right; we're used to the idea someone might react very differently to us and need different things, whereas some people aren't. I'm reminded of a thread I read the other day, where OP was really upset by a friend laughing at something OP had said re: her own grief. She wasn't very clear in her first post, so people weren't sure exactly what she was objecting to, but she refused to accept the idea that someone might laugh when overwhelmed with emotion, even negative emotion. She could only see it as a mirthful response. Most of the people on the thread, though, were able to take account of a range of expressions of intense emotion, as they had experienced this phenomenon or similar themselves at times of great stress, or knew someone who did. So all is not lost, as it were, but I think it is difficult to understand when something is completely outside of the range of one's experience in terms of type of reaction, or when it happens in response to something lots of people wouldn't blink an eye at.

Get well soon, BDH.

Whereas I never assume people will feel like me or have the same needs, my experience is that my emotional responses/needs are different, so always ask how they feel/what they need. I don't assume.

Yeah, I spend the whole of my interactions with other people wondering how they're feeling, whether I'm doing the right thing for them, trying to figure out what they want/need etc. I never assume.

I do wonder how much of the supposedly superior empathy NTs display is just decisiveness. They assume what other people need is the same as what they need and act accordingly. Whereas I dither because I'm trying to figure out what each individual person needs and never assume it's the same as what I need.

Thank you, Rat.

Shuffle up and make room on the "rocking a bit and feeling like a dick" bench.

I am totally with your rant today rat. I overdid my coping mechanism last night (alcohol) and I feel like a massive twat.

I ALWAYS do this. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. I don't have an alcohol dependency, but my ability to people runs out before my desire to people does, and when that happens if it's a drinking party I cope by drinking more. Much more. Much much more.

At least now I know what causes it, but if I'm out at a non-drinking party then I will make an excuse and leave early when my ability to people runs out. Why can't I do the same when there's booze available???? Well I know why, it's because I want to stay and chat and have fun and interact and I enjoy the way that I stop fretting for whole minutes at a time when I'm drunk. And this was a socially acceptable way to manage it when I was 21 but I'm not 21 any more, I'm 35 and I have a child and responsibilities and ARGH WHY AM I SUCH A DICK?

So yeah. Not feeling like I have much of a fucking gift at the moment either.

PS "to people" is definitely a verb. I verbified it. I love peopling but I just can't seem to cope with it.

Verbing nouns is the best.