A new Neurodiversity support thread for those with suspected or diagnosed ASD, ADHD and other NDs

[PigPigTrotters]

Yet another thread for neurodivergent mumsnetters.

Lots of links in old threads.

Anyone is welcome, it's not just about autism.

It would be good to have some sort of collaboration of helpful adjustments so it's possible to pick and choose different things to suit the environment and individual need.

Fantastic Polter! Definitely treat yourself!

I never reached the point of a work-based assessment in my current job. Manager had no clue, Occ health didn't help, they said GP had to refer but GP didn't know who to refer to New job, Occ health have advised a longer induction. Things I need at work: somewhere quiet to do my writing (expected to do it in view of the bay and I'm always interrupted), not to be in charge and run a bay (often happens), debriefing after very difficult situations (never happens), work-based training (manager only sends me on mandatory, told to do additional training in my own time and refused to pay for a course until I'd improved my sickness record). My new workplace will be quieter. My new manager is already a better communicator so I'm confident I'll be better.

Thank you Polter, and for the non-touching hug

Had an afternoon with ch and the boys, and my ears are ringing and I feel like I could end up crying again (cried so much Monday night that I couldn't see ). But it's the holidays and I'm meant to be enjoying family time.

I'm going to head up to the field and play with pigs whilst listening to music now.

It's weird, I feel like me but different in a way. I've worn the same clothes for about a month now (they are being washed!) because other things feel wrong and make me feel anxious, I'm on th iPad far more than I should be, but it's distracting me from other things, but all in all I'm not being a good mother or wife at the moment, and I'm moaning here far too much, sorry!

Polter, interestingly my counsellor used that question with me today to challenge anxious thoughts!

Pig definitely sounds like you need some time to yourself to unwind a bit.

Argh, clothes. Two of my bras have turned on me (underwiring popped out) so I went to get more. Thing is, I have very specific wishes. I like matching sets but no lacy itchy horrible bits, don't like padding. My search today yielded one pair

Random request
I read somewhere on the internet about an 'executive function coach'. I don't know if this is a real thing or a pipe dream.
Before being responsible for DD, DH, the flat, neighbours & council's incompetence I was an organised person. I had filing systems, I kept detailed records, my sock drawer made sense, I got things done. Now I'm a walking disaster area. I need an executive function coach!

Ps Polter
Impressed

Is it bed time now?
It's DS1s birthday and I'm shattered.

HSF

I haven't posted in here before but I've been lurking for a long time. I recently went for a diagnosis and the assessor thinks I'm likely to be NT but with some OCD issues and anxiety issues caused by having alcoholic parents growing up. There was a lot of emphasis on what I was like as a child and as it was just me and my partner there, there was noone to reliably answer a lot of them. There was a lot of guesswork on my part about what I was like as I don't remember a lot from when I was young. For example speech issues were particularly emphasised and I don't remember having speech issues, although I couldn't say for certain. I can't ask my parents as my mum is dead and I don't speak to my dad (not that he would know what I was like he couldn't have cared less about me)

I know it probably sounds odd, but I am disappointed tbh, as I had hoped I would be able to finally have an "answer" for why I struggle with life so much. But I'm just left feeling like a fraud trying to appropriate a condition that I don't have, with no greater understanding of myself than I had before. there's also a part of me that feels a failure and blames myself - what if am autistic but didn't answer the questions in the right way and gave a misleading impression? I can't even get that right.

Also if all my problems really do stem from my parents and not autism then does that mean I could be "cured" by counselling? Or that I should at least try?

Sorry for the thread hijack, like I said I've been lurking for ages but felt like too much of a fraud to join in. (Still do, really esp now with a diagnosis of 'NT')

I've found brain in hand, which looks brilliant, only it says it costs £540
Is that right? Is there a section I haven't found?
Does anyone have it?

Polter thanks for the welcome it wasn't NHS, it was Action for Aspergers (Elaine) and I've heard good things about AFA before so I guess I have to trust their judgement. Just feeling very deflated today.

Welcome Ibbbo - that must be hard for you.

Please don't feel like a failure just because you were assessed as likely NT. Even if you are NT - best case scenario is that your difficulties can be improved with counselling, maybe give it a try and see what happens?

And if autism strategies work for you for managing whatever challenges you have, then don't abandon them - or this thread, if you find it helpful. Do what works for you. There's no golden rule that says only diagnosed autists* are allowed to use ASD coping strategies.

I do trust AfA myself which is where I was assessed and part of the appeal for me was that I didn't want an assessor who would just 'nod through' anyone who came - which sounds like it was also part of the appeal for you too, so you must have thought it was a possibility? I don't know if it's helpful to say that or not but it's meant kindly.

You might not have THE answer today but that doesn't mean there isn't AN answer out there somewhere.

In the meantime and

*Yeah HQ I said it, look at me being a rebel

Love it Polter

My DP occasionally calls me a "twitching little autist" (hasten to add this is said with humour and affection, and she is not being mean, she is the most supportive partner I could possibly wish for). Yet I heard a teenage girl shout at her friend "Oh my god what's wrong with you are you AUTISTIC" and that was quite definitely not meant kindly. It's not adjectives-good-nouns-bad but the context and intent behind them.

I did not say this in the thread upstairs because I am fairly sure I would be mobbed by outrage.

The rebel club has clouds on it 😍
I love the word autist, I am a tiny bit tempted to report these posts to see what MN do (don't worry, I won't!).

Had a miraculous recovery at the field, the most gorgeous sunset with some rare cloud formations, my music and my camera, I feel much better, but absolutely knackered!