A new Neurodiversity support thread for those with suspected or diagnosed ASD, ADHD and other NDs

[PigPigTrotters]

Yet another thread for neurodivergent mumsnetters.

Lots of links in old threads.

Anyone is welcome, it's not just about autism.

Polterboy sounds brilliant 😂

I like the sound of a notebook, not sure I'd know what to put in it though

Ahh, thank you, have a little speck of dust or something in my eye...

Autist sounds similar to flautist, a much gentler and pleasing word than autistic.

Thanks for the welcome Laura. I guess the fact that they wouldn't just nod people through like you say was part of the appeal of AFA for me, that and that I heard they were good in particular with diagnosing women.

Re the autism strategies working for me - I don't really know as I was hoping to get some suggestions of strategies to try if I was diagnosed with ASD. But obviously that didn't happen so I don't really know what to try. My main difficulties are social ones - not knowing how to interact with people and having absolutely zero friends. There's also being very very rigid in my thinking and having anxiety if routines are changed even a little, as well as getting obsessed with things to the detriment of normal life and ignoring everything else - kids, work, eating, sleeping..

I can relate to most of the things in this list from Nacoa so I can see where a lot of my problems could possibly stem from my parents. But there's still a niggling doubt in the back of my mind that it might not be the whole picture, as some aspects of my personality can't be easily explained with this theory. I personally like life to be as black and white as possible and I like 'labels' to explain things, so that's also one of the reasons for going for a diagnosis.

-- From Nacoa ---
People affected by parental alcohol problems often share similar feelings. Some talk about:

• feeling different from other people
• difficulty making and maintaining intimate relationships
• fearing rejection and abandonment, yet rejecting others
• being loyal even when loyalty is undeserved
• finding it difficult to have fun
• judging themselves without mercy
• fearing failure, but sabotaging success
• overreacting to changes over which they have no control
• lying when it would be just as easy to tell the truth
• guessing at what ‘normal’ is

Lots of these things have similar-looking outcomes. It wouldn't be surprising if having things in your childhood that affect your development have similar effects to an inbuilt developmental disorder. And we shouldn't forget that (a) ASD can be genetic, and (b) some autistic people self-medicate with alcohol.

If you lot are having autist, can I have spergy? I call DP a spergy bastard (affectionately!) sometimes, even though it's me has the dx

Spergy bastard

Thanks autisticrat I hadn't really considered it that way. Environmental factors in my upbringing potentially having a similar outcome as ASD does make sense. It's also pretty depressing that my parents could have such a profound affect on me like that if that is the cause. I find ASD easier to swallow as there is no 'blame' as such, it's just how I am, but knowing it could be the fault of my parents (my mum, mainly) is quite upsetting and painful to be honest.

I had heard the ASD being genetic thing and also self-medicating with alcohol. It's impossible for me to really say whether my mum could have been autistic as I never knew her as an adult. Or sober, much. But the potential is there.

On a complete tangent, autisticrat I've been wondering for AGES if your name is referring to rats, or is a play-on-words blending "autistic" and "aristocrat" it has literally had me thinking about it at strange times of the day when I haven't even been on MN for ages.

Welcome Ibbbo. I can imagine how disappointing it must be to go through the assessment only for them to say you're NT! I can't imagine how difficult life must have been for you growing up. Diagnosis or not, you have the same kind of feelings about life as us so you're very welcome here!

Love the motto Polter!

I had a thought today. I saw a girl from work who is from another country today with her friend. I suspect although am not certain that her friend was from the same country. I thought how it must be tough to work in another language and how nice it must be for her to chat in her native language with her friend. Then I realised that's what it like for most of us. It's like working in a foreign language all the time. Usually we can navigate our way but it's exhausting and we have to retreat afterwards. Talking on here is like talking in our own language bevause we're able to freely express ourselves here without the nightmare of monitoring body language. :)

Would any of you be interested in playing a game? Characters who are intentionally written as neuro-diverse but who probably are? I'm watching Gilmore Girls. Paris is definitely an Aspie!

Spergy with a soft G, like sturgeon

Ibbbo - both! I'm autistic and I like rats, so AutisticRat, and it's also meant to ever-so-subtly sound a bit like aristocrat.

That's why I leave it all uncapitalised, so it can be taken either way. You're not the first person to ask Maybe I should get something a little bit less ambiguous, given the nature of the thread and the stereotypes about us and all, but I quite like a bit of ambiguity

I'm very limited in what I will watch - I don't like violence or threat, I struggle with films that are all phoosh and bang background noise, I can't distinguish between characters if they look similar or change their clothes, and I can't interpret facial expressions, I need them to say outright what they're thinking. And i prefer subtitles on. It takes me a mammoth amount of effort to watch and understand a film so I generally don't bother.

So all in all I am NOT the right person to watch films with!

But I am enjoying Lucifer (I make strategic cups of tea during the fighty bits) and I reckon Lucifer is quite autistic. Possibly PDA.

I also tried watching that Mr Robot thing where the main character was meant to be Aspie and I hated it.

Ibbbo, that's why I found the (inaccurate and incorrect) BPD label I was lumbered with for so long so upsetting - quite aside from the fact it didn't fit me at all, and aside from the fact that doctors often use it as a "hysterical woman", "manipulative patient", "troublesome patient", "lost cause" label, the constant implications and inferences that I must have been abused as a child, or that my parents had caused it, deeply upset me.

I love Mr Robot!

Didn't think he was meant to be autistic, though. Did you read that somewhere?

I found watching Bones soothing while wondering about diagnosis. Temperance Brennan is blatantly written as ND, and she is successful and happy; her brain wiring has saved her from her rocky past rather than dooming her.

I think I got it off Facebook rat where someone else I know was raving about how great it was that there was an autistic character. I've just googled and it looks like that may have been viewers extrapolating from his social anxiety rather than a part of the plot.

autisticrat, I love your name and often say it over and over in my head in different ways. It also makes an intriguing pairing with PolterGoose.

I do know that a good proportion of people with a BPD diagnosis have had no childhood abuse, but that didn't stop NHS staff repeatedly asking me about it There was one event when i was 15 where a nurse questioned me for ages, and in trying to answer their questions I admitted that a few times when I was a child, I got a smacked bottom for very bad behaviour.

They investigated my dad. He was in a career where you really really can't afford to have any suspicion hanging over you whatsoever. I was devastated. Luckily, he was okay but it was horrible.

I'm also aware that people with BPD aren't all those horrible things that I mentioned! But medical staff often seem to treat people with the diagnosis as though they are.

One I do like is Elsbeth Tascioni in the Good Wife - she's not written as autistic but I think she probably is.

A rat and a goose!

That makes sense, Laura. There's definitely something funny going on with his brain, though. GOK what

Oh yes, Brennan definitely is! Oh and Cristina Yang in Grey's Anatomy. I found it ironic they introduced a character who had HFA, such a ridiculous stereotype when they already had a character who was classic Aspie (seen as cold, very focused on work, blunt, doesn't like physical contact).

It's interesting to hear people 'diagnosing' TV characters, makes me wonder what you would think if you met me

Has anyone watched The Imitation Game? I watched it yesterday and thought it was fantastic, I managed to sit still and watch the whole thing all the way through. I'm looking forward to watching it whilst ipading at the same time to research things!

I've sorted through tonight's photos and feel very jittery and flappy now about them, which will affect sleep! Dh can't understand how I feel stressed (but overly happy/thrilled stressed) over sorting a load of photos!

Whoops, you all dropped off my 'threads I'm on' section again!

Re: watching films/tv. I find I am very limited too, more so the older I get. I like stuff that Is easy to watch and relatable. Gavin and Stacey and Modern Family are right up my street, GOT not so much although I have tried to get into it. I think when I was younger I watched a lot of stuff in order to try and fit in/seem cool to others. I went through a phase of being obsessed with buying DVD's, I had a check list of films and tv shows as long as my arm that I planned to buy. Now we own hundreds of dvd's and hardly watch any of them thanks to online streaming.