Yes, the peace of mind you can get from someone else telling you that you're not crazy, stupid, flaky, lazy, awkward etc is brilliant. It might help to print out some things like this to take with you to the GP as some of them are more clued up than others.

OP posts:

morelikeguidelines · 17/06/2015 21:42

Thanks, EauRouge. I have also printed out the quiz results to take with me.

Original poster

EauRouge · 18/06/2015 07:36

Happy Autistic Pride Day, everyone :) I expect MNHQ will be unveiling our new forum any minute now

OP posts:

morelikeguidelines · 18/06/2015 07:47

Ooh autistic pride day! I didn't know about that. What a wonderful thing. I was thinking there was an issue of "coming out" as aspergers / autistic so a pride day makes sense.

morelikeguidelines · 18/06/2015 08:07

Reading some other parts of the thread - I do enjoy driving especially alone. However it took me ages to learn and I failed several times. I still get panicky if I feel I am being "observed " I.e. If I have an adult passenger and especially parallel parking, although living in London has taught me to do that.

Re holidays, I have noticed I like to fit a trip in with my special interests. e.g. I will decide I want to see a particular painting or palace that fits with them. I always thought this was quite healthy in the past as at least I was interested in something (not just food and drink!)

Original poster

EauRouge · 18/06/2015 08:18

If you google 'autistic rights' then there's loads of really interesting stuff. There's quite a big movement of autistic adults fighting for autism acceptance and that sort of thing. You are right, coming out is a big issue. I've been lucky so far, the friends I've told have all been really good. I am quite selective about who knows though, if I don't think they will understand then I say nothing.

OP posts:

LeChien · 19/06/2015 13:41

I've just got the report back from Monday - was expecting it to be two months, so she's been incredibly quick!
I can't believe how long it is, and how much we talked about.
There are a couple of things that I didn't know, apparently I fiddled with my fingers all the time (I know I do it when stressed, but didn't feel particularly stressed)
I have a monotonous voice, and I have a slightly odd gait.
I knew I wasn't graceful, but that's surprised me.
She agrees that I have no need for a formal diagnosis, but recommends I talk to family. A couple of them know, but I'll keep it to myself now I think.
Understanding myself a bit better helps.

CrohnicallyAspie · 19/06/2015 15:15

Wow, that's great, glad you got it back so quick. And I hope it helps, I certainly feel a lot better since my diagnosis.

Original poster

EauRouge · 19/06/2015 16:02

That's brilliant that you got it so quickly. I remember reading mine and thinking 'wait, that's not normal?' It's weird seeing it all in black and white. It's definitely a personal decision whether or not to tell people. Part of me still wants to tell random strangers in the street and part of me is a massive chicken that thinks my children will forced into school and I'll not be allowed to drive any more etc etc, despite having a fairly normal life up until my assessment.

Crohn, I like your new namechange :)

OP posts:

PolterGoose · 19/06/2015 16:12

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SouthWestmom · 19/06/2015 16:30

Hi all
I have my report and it's weird how accurate it is - things I thought were normal are traits. Confirmed diagnosis, and I've told my LM who is going to tell HR

LeChien · 19/06/2015 16:45

I'm confused about theory of mind and empathy.
During the assessment we discussed a few things around this area. One was how would I feel if someone close was upset if their much loved Ming vase was irreparably broken. In RL I would sound sympathetic, and understand that they were upset but inside I wouldn't really get why they were upset.
If they lost their dog however, I would be upset with them as I would be able to relate to this.
Watching comic relief (another thing that came up) - the videos of ill and dying children get to me, I picture my own children there. Adults in terrible circumstances and dying, don't touch me at all.
However, global tragedies - the earthquake in Nepal, refugees drowning trying to escape their countries, upset me, even though I can't possibly relate on a personal level, I feel loads of empathy for them. I don't understand how this works, how I can be so cold in some respects, but the complete opposite in others.

LeChien · 19/06/2015 16:50

Sorry Noeuf, pleased you got your report through.

PolterGoose · 19/06/2015 16:57

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Athenaviolet · 19/06/2015 17:06

Looking back what I've later realised I've done in that situation where someone's Ming vase was broken was to say 'oh that's a shame, when I was x years old my y was broken' and then go on a rant about how upset I still am.

Hmm no wonder I have difficulties with people!

Empathy to me is a big act. I can do it well at work. It's a performance. I know the moves and the lines.

Day to day I just don't get upset by stuff. I miss 'objects' of mine I've lost/been destroyed more than family members who have died. I don't say I love you to DP.

The lack of empathy runs in the family. If I was ill as a child my mum would put me downstairs to sleep so she didn't have to hear me crying in pain during the night. It's the most difficult aspect of parenting DS, he'll hurt me but then just state through me. He'll never apologise or 'get' or care that he's hurt me.

But it actually has it's benefits in certain lines of work- I've worked with people who have committed crimes such as animal cruelty and child abuse and I'm good at that because I don't judge them as I have that black and white approach to human rights and I can put to the back of my kind any empathy with the victims.

PolterGoose · 19/06/2015 17:15

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LeChien · 19/06/2015 17:20

I miss objects too, I'll scour eBay and find things that I used to have as a child. The latest is a mug exactly like one I had that broke.

I do have empathy within my family, I love dh and tell him, but I would say he's the only person (apart from the children in small doses) that I feel absolutely comfortable with. Everyone else and it's a bit of an act, but not a deliberate act (if that makes sense) it just happens.
I hate it when anyone's ill and find it difficult to be nice and caring.

PolterGoose · 19/06/2015 17:25

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LeChien · 19/06/2015 17:29

I don't know if it's a thing, but I know I find it comforting to have things around that are familiar.

I think reading the report has shown that there's an area, without going into too many details, that I'm quite nasty about. It was a bit of a shock, and I'm not sure how to change it, but I'm not happy about it.

CrohnicallyAspie · 19/06/2015 18:09

eau thanks, it was in honour of autistic pride day, seeing as I didn't actually pluck up the courage to 'come out' in RL, I came out on here!

ALittleFaith · 19/06/2015 19:00

Love the NC crohnically!

I still miss items too. I had a leather jacket that was 'lost' over 3 years ago (I swear it was in the house when we had a fire but the insurance cleaners says it wasn't). It was bought vintage some 15 years before so I can never replace it. I still miss it!

I too go overboard with the 'oh yes my personal experiences' rather than just sympathising. I'm sure it irritates people, it's one thing I am really aware of and try to work on.

Hmm, I have a friend who has been since by psych for another issue who suggested she get assessed for ASD. She's been told she'll be seen within a couple of weeks. I'm still waiting 10 months after asking to be referred. I know I shouldn't be annoyed about her queue jumping but I am. Daft really.

I am shattered. DD has chicken pox (started Sunday) so we've been house bound all week. She's finally on the mend so we can go out tomorrow, yippee!

Athenaviolet · 19/06/2015 19:58

When I was compiling my list to hand over to get my referral for an assessment I realise quite a lot of it concerned 'objects'.

It's probably the cause of most friction between dp and I. Even after a decade I find it so hard when he moves things, even slightly. (It reminds me of the Katy bates penguin part of misery )

I'm also a nightmare to buy presents for. For a start I don't like surprises. Then I tend not to like things just because someone else got them, even if I could have got it myself. It really doesn't make sense.

When I was a teen I had a 'special interest' I collected 3000 pieces of memorabilia for. I now hate that special interest but 20+ years on I still have a bag of what remains of the collection that I can't throw out.

I used to think my hoarding/valuing of objects was because I'd moved around so much so having familiar things made unfamiliar places feel like home but now I think it's probably more the asd.

Allofaflumble · 20/06/2015 15:03

Someone once said to me "You really love things don't you?" I was quite offended at the time. They were right though, especially at that time.

I seem to have no obsessions at the moment, if you discount this thread and reading about autism.

Straycatblue · 20/06/2015 23:09

I have been trying to get an appointment for diagnosis with a local private consultant since April without success. (its a bit strange he keeps saying he will get back to me with an appointment time and then doesnt get back to me) Feeling a bit scunnered by it.

To those who have recently had their diagnosis, can I ask how it made you feel? I know for some of you its fairly recent so you are probably still coming to terms with it.

LeChien · 21/06/2015 00:24

I don't think mine would be considered a proper diagnosis, so it may not feel the same, but reading the report has been weird.
I mostly feel relieved. I've always wondered why I felt different to everyone else, and have always felt bad for not doing things normal girls/women are expected to do (although that's probably gender stereotypes at play).
I feel bemused that I have a monotonous voice (suspected it but others are too polite to say anything), surprised that I fiddle with my fingers so much (DH confirmed it too), and missed half of a shop out last night as I was concentrating on my gait.
One thing I feel really relieved about is theory of mind stuff. I have seen awful pictures, read horrific accounts of things, and they don't bother me at all. I can understand they're awful, and wrong, but seeing and reading the details that have other people upset just don't bother me. I always thought that made me bad, deep down.
I've always had a good long term memory, but I never knew that mine was particularly vivid, I thought everyone was like that. I can remember things from a young age and it's as if I'm there again, which in some respects is very nice, and something I'll try to appreciate more, but in other respects is bad when I keep replaying dh's collapse a couple of years ago, and everything feels as scary as it did then. I don't think I have PTSD, because the memories aren't uncontrollable, but once something has got me thinking about it I can't stop and it makes me very anxious.
That's maybe not what you meant, but so far this is what I've been thinking about.
I wish I'd known much earlier then maybe I wouldn't have spent so long feeling shit about myself.

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